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packer04 · Nov 22, 2008, 07:53 PM

Well I was seeing a guy for 4-5 months. As in my previous posts,told me I was everything he wanted,we were alike,much in common,met his friends,parents,seen him 2-3 times per week,called me twice per day. All of a sudden he stopped and I had to call to find out why. Said he had no feelings, and I was too nice(but he said him being a nice guy wanted a nice gal) So he was starting to date others. Didn't know if anything would come of it. So that hurt. I really thought he liked me, gave me mixed signals it seems. So I guess I was there till someone else came along.(I am 49,he 50) What was I to think? The more I saw him, the more I thought he really wanted me. Well he wants to remain friends. I would like to but I fell for him,deep feelings. I try to tell him when he has called,but its hard for me to say. I wrote a letter to him and want to give it to him to explain my feelings and find out what I truly was to him. He was the 1st decent guy I me and it really hurts to be brushed off. Some friends say mail it or read it to him, let him know. Others say move on, and let it go. But how. I really care for him and I had no idea he didn't have anything for me. I just feel he needs to know. I feel like he didn't want anything with me, but with another and I guess there are other women with everything he wants. Shouldn't he know what he did to me and how it hurts.

J_9 · Nov 22, 2008, 07:56 PM

Just let it be. Don't play childish teen age games by sending him a note or an email. Let sleeping dogs lie.

You are only going to hurt yourself more if you send him a note/email. If he doesn't ignore you, he's only going to reject you again. Are you prepared for that?

Fr_Chuck · Nov 22, 2008, 08:20 PM

Notes ?

Sorry but he was clear, move on.

packer04 · Nov 22, 2008, 09:07 PM

So you are all saying to me to let it go. But how can he expect friendship from me. He had said he would never hurt me as he was himself and I fell in LOVE with him. So don't even tell him. Why the mixed signals and make me feel like I was it. How do you stay friends if you love him??

zodilib · Nov 22, 2008, 10:04 PM

Yes this is true my dear.. Its very difficult to remain friend with the one whom we love and see them with others. Don't be sad. Life seems tough at times but whatever it is it pass.. I suggest you not to talk, at least for sometime till this pain diminishes. This will help you gain your respect in front of him as well for yourself.
Get involved in some activity meet new people. There is lot more in this world than what just meets our eyes. Mny beautiful faces and many golden hearts waiting for you. So have a happy life my sweety!

ZoeMarie · Nov 22, 2008, 10:14 PM

I've always thought that it's selfish for someone that breaks up with a person to want to remain friends. I think that's asking a lot because if you remain friend with someone that has broken up with you it takes so much longer to get over that person, if you even manage to do so. If he calls just explain to him that he needs to let you get over him, and that means no more contact.

packer04 · Nov 22, 2008, 10:45 PM

So what your all saying is don't talk to him. But if he calls shouldn't I let him know how I feel and find out what is up? Isn't there a time when a person should let the other know. If we remain friends, how do I know he won't want me for good if he realizes I am what he wants. Can't I hope for that. I love him and feel that he is the one. If he had no feelings for me-why did he want to be around me and tel me I was it for him. I feel there is no one out there. I have met so many bad ones and then I finally meet this nice guy and he is all I want. That's all I ask for is someone to love me and want me. Is that too much. ALL the women I work with are so nasy to their men and they get them and keep them. They said I am too nice and that's why no one wants me-could that be true?? I just love him so much.

packer04 · Nov 22, 2008, 10:47 PM

I do things guys. I work every weekend fri through sun. I volunteer 3 days per week. Go to the gym. Go out with girlfriends. But it still doesn't take the loneliness away and the pain. I come home to an empty house. All I want is someone in my life. Where are all the people that want someone in their life.

Samgeisinger · Nov 22, 2008, 10:51 PM

OK I don't thik this my boyfirend is saying this... Tell him what you feel because he might be scared to commit
JUST SAY THAT U LOVE HIM AND KNOW MATTER WHAT HE DOSE UR ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE FOR HIM BECAUSE HE IS UR BABE FOR EVER :-)

Wondergirl · Nov 22, 2008, 10:57 PM

I agree with those who say let it go, don't give him the letter. He's already dating others. In your present condition of loving him, there is no way you can be "just friends." You two gave it an honest try, but it didn't work out. And yes, there are guys out there waiting to meet you. I know one in the Chicago suburbs.

packer04 · Nov 22, 2008, 11:55 PM

You say not to be friends with him. Well he doesn't have anyone permanent, he just out there dating. So isn't there a chance he could come back to me and we could be together. Doesn't that happen sometimes? We are both old enough(49 and 50) where there is not a lot of people that are exactly it. So maybe by being his friend he could start having feelings for me. It takes time for that anyway. And what's wrong with letting him know that he hurt me and he confused me and sent mixed signals to me.

Wondergirl · Nov 23, 2008, 12:03 AM

In the movies it happens that he realizes his mistake and comes back, but I've never heard of it happening in real life. Do you really want to squander the next two, three, five years waiting and hoping, and then it never happens? And you could have been busy finding and being with someone who appreciates you?

I know men. A letter like that will not impress. Men aren't like women. A woman would cherish such a letter. A man, especially one who has already moved on (you said he said he has no feelings for you), would dump it in the trash.