[sweetlittlejess]

Today I found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

My husband had an affair about a year ago and he said that a few months before that he realized he didn't love me and he wanted to leave. We've stayed together over the last year because neither one of us want to be separated from our child and I would have a really hart time supporting my 2 children from a previous marriage without him. I love him very much and I have always wanted to work on our relationship but he hasn't been willing. I've done what I can do deal with his lack of love for me and we've still been physically together even though we're not there emotionally. We've been very careful, but I've not been on birth control because I have issues with birth control, (My oldest two children were conceived on the pill) I'm allergic to Depo Provera, and we tried an IUD after my last pregnancy but it ended up nearly falling out and had to be removed. We talked about getting my tubes tied, but I'd always wanted to have another child and at the time we were still together. He also talked about getting a vasectomy but couldn't go through with it.

We were not expecting this and I've not even told him yet, but I'm afraid to because I know he doesn't want another child. I'm very pro-choice, but I love my husband very much and I love my children very much and I just don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself if I go through with an abortion just for him. Our relationship is not going to make it regardless of my decision so should I just do it because it's what he wants? My family is going to be opposed to me keeping the child as well so I'm going to be alone in this, it's scary, but when I think about how much I love all my children I feel terrible thinking that I'm actually considering ending the life of one before I ever meet him/her?

What do I do?

[N0help4u]

I know I could never go through with something like that especially to please somebody that doesn't love you. YOU have to decide what is best for you. Realize that if you go through with an abortion you will be going through not only the lose of a husband but the lose of the baby and that very well could be too hard on your emotional well being. You need to do what is best and most comfortable for you. He isn't considering you, so you consider you.

[asking]

He apparently would not use a condom or get a vasectomy, so he is not in a position to tell you you must have an abortion. The child would be entitled to child support, but that and the child would tie you to him for a long time and he would probably resent you for forcing a child on him. From his perspective, it would be unfair. (But he also did nothing to prevent it.)

I also think that having a third child when you are about to get divorced would make your life and that of your other children very challenging. Think twice about how much you want this and how much it will cost you and your other kids. Unless you have a job that pays well, with flexible hours and from which you cannot be fired, I think it would be very hard economically. If your family are unlikely to be supportive, that's another reason not to do it.

What is on the pro side? Is this a romantic idea related to your love for the father?

I understand your reluctance to have an abortion. After I had my two kids, I knew if I got pregnant it would be very hard for me to have an abortion, but I did not want to have a third. So I got my tubes tied. (My ex also refused to get a vasectomy.)

If the doctor says you are 5 weeks along, the doctor probably counted from your last period, which means the embryo is 3 weeks, a couple of millimeters long, no face, no fully formed organs. I'm just saying that so you'll know, not to try to persuade you. It's a tough decision. But think long term about the shape of your life and that of your other kids'.

http://www.biology.iupui.edu/biocour...es/38day24.jpg

[xxariesxx]

You should do what you feel is right without worrying about what he or his family will think.
You even said yourself, it will not matter what happens, the relationship is over.

So if you feel it is right to keep the child, please do.

[danielnoahsmommy]

It is your body and ultimately your choice. Do what you feel is right. Don't let him bully you

[lthm]

If you want this baby then keep it keep it keep it! Whatever you do, don't base your decision off what your husband wants. But also recognize that you stayed with your husband partially due to finances and with one more baby and possibly one less husband that will get harder.