[stinawords]

Are these two threads about the same child? Or are they about two different children? I ask becaue you just brought up back support on the other thread as well.

[msir]

They are about two different children. This is about my daughter. The other is about my son, who is by another woman. I haver support orders for both in different states

[msir]

If it wasn't done, would that be considered an error on the judges part. Actually it wasn't a judge, he was more like a master who makes recommendations in an order for the judge to sign. She is pretty confident she will get the back support. I got a copy of her exception and it says that my son is entitled to back support and she also stated that I delayed the case which resulted in several months without my son receiveing support.

[msir]

My order states that my ex is supposed to inform me of medical treatment related to my child. It also states that she has final say if we can't come to an agreement. If she takes him to the doctor and doesn't tell me until afterwards, can I take her for contempt?

Ok, new question, can my ex take me for contempt if she doesn't receive the CS by the next payment due date. That will be a third missed payment (Oct, Nove, Dec)

[msir]

I have modified my questions

[Fr_Chuck]

If you do not pay your child support on time, she can take you back to court to find you in contempt, she may also turn it over to child support enforcement, most states allow you to be arrested before any hearing if you are over so many payments late.
Also they can take your drivers license in many states for being behind.

You can take her to court for not tellng you about taking the child to the doctor, doubt if the judge will take it seriously, most likely see you are a trouble maker ( sorry but judges hage seeing couples using kids to fight each other.

[msir]

The case is already with CSE. The order states I am to by wage lien to CSE who I assume will give my ex the payment. How would it be my fault for contempt if it's the employer's responsibility to deduct from my pay ans send to CSE. Will CSE go after my employer and me, or just me?

Also, how can you assume that I am a troublemaker?

We don't fight, we just don't communicate. She refuses to discuss anything with me via email because she thinks my girlfriend is writing the emails for me. While she does help me word things, its what I want to say.

[JudyKayTee]

The case is already with CSE. The order states I am to by wage lien to CSE who I assume will give my ex the payment. How would it be my fault for contempt if its the employer's responsibility to deduct from my pay ans send to CSE. Will CSE go after my employer and me, or just me?

Also, how can you assume that I am a troublemaker?

We don't fight, we just don't communicate. She refuses to discuss anything with me via email because she thinks my gf is writing the emails for me. While she does help me word things, its what I want to say.

If the money was taken out of your wages by your employer you have legally paid your ordered child support - what they employer has done with the money is your employer's problem. Not saying you won't get pulled back into Court, just saying I don't see this being your "fault."

The troublemaking part stems from your concerns about medical treatment of your child, treatment which apparently your ex-wife feels/felt was necessary and now you are asking about holding her in contempt. If the final say was hers, anyway, I don't know why the Court required her to consult you as opposed to simply advising you, either before or after the fact.

I'm sure you know having your girlfriend involved in this situation is not healthy for anyone, including your child who should be your first priority. Not saying she shouldn't be involved in the child's life, just saying your dealings with your ex are really none of her business.

[this8384]

The case is already with CSE. The order states I am to by wage lien to CSE who I assume will give my ex the payment. How would it be my fault for contempt if its the employer's responsibility to deduct from my pay ans send to CSE. Will CSE go after my employer and me, or just me?

Also, how can you assume that I am a troublemaker?

We don't fight, we just don't communicate. She refuses to discuss anything with me via email because she thinks my gf is writing the emails for me. While she does help me word things, its what I want to say.

Here's part of the problem: you didn't state initially that your employer is supposed to be sending in the CS payment. Fr_Chuck answered you based upon the information you provided. Obviously, it's out of your hands if your employer isn't getting the money to Child Support in a timely fashion.

Secondly, Fr_Chuck didn't say that you are a troublemaker; he said that's what the court will see it as. There are a lot of parents out there who don't abide by the terms agreed to and my husband's ex-wife is one of them. However, he doesn't run back to court every time she signs the kids up for baseball or takes them to the dentist without consulting him because that's like the boy who cried wolf; the court is going to be less likely to believe him if/when something major happens.

If your ex refuses to discuss anything through e-mail, that's fine. The bottom line is that it's getting discussed. As long as you're both considering what's in the best interest of the child(ren), then there's no issue here.

[msir]

My employer has not began deducting the money from my checks. Its been two pay periods since they have received the order and nothing has happened. She is also quick to file, and my third payment since the order is due on December. If the employer refuses to deduct the money, the employer wiill be in contempt right? I don't see why I should if I can't control them taking money out of my check. My ex has already reminded me I am two payments behind. I am sure if she doesn't get anything on Dec 1, she will head straight to court and file contempt.

[JudyKayTee]

My employer has not began deducting the money from my checks. its been two pay periods since they hav received the order and nothing has happened. She is also quick to file, and my third payment since teh order is due on december. If the employer refuses to deduct the money, the employer wiill be in contempt right? I dont see why I should if i can't control them taking money out of my check. My ex has already reminded me I am two payments behind. I am sure if she doesnt get anything on Dec 1, she will head straight to court and file contempt.

This is how I see it - it takes some time for the employer to receive and implement the order. You knew money wasn't being taken from your check for child support. You didn't pay it direct. Did you notify the Court/your employer/your ex IN WRITING.

You owe the money and can end the contempt charge by paying it, even if you pay it late. If you don't want to keep getting hauled back into Court because of your complicated life - I've read your past posts - pay child support as ordered and if it's necessary to have it deducted from your checks, then make sure it actually is.

I see no contempt on anyone's part but yours.

[msir]

This is how I see it - it takes some time for the employer to receive and implement the order. You knew money wasn't being taken from your check for child support. You didn't pay it direct. Did you notify the Court/your employer/your ex IN WRITING.

You owe the money and can end the contempt charge by paying it, even if you pay it late. If you don't want to keep getting hauled back into Court because of your complicated life - I've read your past posts - pay child support as ordered and if it's necessary to have it deducted from your checks, then make sure it actually is.

I see no contempt on anyone's part but yours.

No, I didn't think it was my business, and I didn't twant to interfere. I am already on the fence because I have two wage garnishment orders, and if my employer wants, the can fire me. I just rather let them do what they are supposed to do and ask me questions if necessary.

I do see contempt on her part. She is supposed to consult me on all major issues and she has not. I don't even know where my child's doctor and daycare is. The mother says that the order specified school, not daycare, and she says she doesn't want me going up there because the order states she is supposed to give me the info, but it doesn't say I can't get it myself. She says if I go the daycare will call her and she will come to remove my child (daycare is at her job). If she is not giving me info, or taking my child to the doc without my knowledge, can't I file contempt?

[this8384]

No, I didnt think it was my business, and I didn twant to interfere. I am already on the fence because I have two wage garnishment orders, and if my employer wants, the can fire me. I just rather let them do what they are supposed to do and ask me questions if necessary.

Congratulations; I do believe msir deserves the "Cop-out of the Year" award. Am I reading this right, that you "didn't want to interfere" with the money that is supposed to be supporting your children but wasn't? Give me a break. Of course it's your business; it's your money and your children.

I do see contempt on her part. She is supposed to consult me on all major issues and she has not. I dont even know where my childs doctor and daycare is. The mother says that the order specified school, not daycare, and she says she doesnt want me going up there becuase the order states she is supposed to give me the info, but it doesnt say I can't get it myself. She says if I go the daycare will call her and she will come to remove my child (daycare is at her job). If she is not giving me info, or taking my child to the doc without my knowledge, can't I file contempt?

Why does it bother you if she takes your child to the doctor? If she was neglecting your child, then I would say you've got something to complain about. My stepkids mother signs them up for baseball without talking to my husband and then demands half the enrollment fees. She takes them to the dentist and then tells him to give her post-dated checks for the balance of what his insurance didn't cover. She puts the kids in the middle of their financial situation constantly by telling them that Daddy needs to pay for their lunch milk, shoes, etc. All of these things are something that technically, he could file for contempt for. He chooses not to. And do you know why? Because nothing's going to change. The judge will readvise her that she is supposed to be sharing these things with him; she'll say "Okay, I will"; she'll leave court angry at my husband because she got called out and will continue to keep the information from him, if not on a greater level.

So go ahead, file for contempt. But I'm telling you right now, you're only going to waste your time & money and all you're going to accomplish is making your ex angry.

[cdad]

My employer has not began deducting the money from my checks. its been two pay periods since they hav received the order and nothing has happened. She is also quick to file, and my third payment since teh order is due on december. If the employer refuses to deduct the money, the employer wiill be in contempt right? I dont see why I should if i can't control them taking money out of my check. My ex has already reminded me I am two payments behind. I am sure if she doesnt get anything on Dec 1, she will head straight to court and file contempt.

Regardless of where the money is coming from as far as your employer is concerned its still your obligation. Would jail time help remind you to pay your child support? Would losing 65% of your gross be OK with you ? Are you positive you can live on that after taxes ? If you answered no to any of the above questions then I suggest you stop playing games and get real. YOU owe child support and its up to YOU to see that its paid. If your employer isn't taking it out then you still have those funds available to you to disburse at your discrection. In many states that have an aggressive child support enforcement what I have mention already is just the tip of what they can do should they want to. Be a dad and not a dummy. Play it smart. Pay your support on time and pay your arrears right away. If you object to the amounts etc then that's something you will have to take up with the judge.

[JudyKayTee]

No, I didnt think it was my business, and I didn twant to interfere. I am already on the fence because I have two wage garnishment orders, and if my employer wants, the can fire me. I just rather let them do what they are supposed to do and ask me questions if necessary.

I do see contempt on her part. She is supposed to consult me on all major issues and she has not. I dont even know where my childs doctor and daycare is. The mother says that the order specified school, not daycare, and she says she doesnt want me going up there becuase the order states she is supposed to give me the info, but it doesnt say I can't get it myself. She says if I go the daycare will call her and she will come to remove my child (daycare is at her job). If she is not giving me info, or taking my child to the doc without my knowledge, can't I file contempt?

If you already know the answers, why do you continue to post qustions?

You asked; several people answered. Arguing with me isn't going to change my advice.

I've read through your past posts - everyone is wrong and/or responsible for your (various) misfortunes. Judges, Attorneys, your employers all made mistakes. Meanwhile in order to get you to pay for the food your children eat it's been necessary to file a wage garnishment against you.

So it's your opinion that when your child needs medical care your ex-wife has to contact you, the deadbeat father, to get your "permission" to get that care - which she will undoubtedly have to pay for because you don't think paying support for your child is - and I quote - "your business."

[msir]

If you already know the answers, why do you continue to post qustions?

You asked; several people answered. Arguing with me isn't going to change my advice.

I've read through your past posts - everyone is wrong and/or responsible for your (various) misfortunes. Judges, Attorneys, your employers all made mistakes. Meanwhile in order to get you to pay for the food your children eat it's been necessary to file a wage garnishment against you.

So it's your opinion that when your child needs medical care your ex-wife has to contact you, the deadbeat father, to get your "permission" to get that care - which she will undoubtedly have to pay for because you don't think paying support for your child is - and I quote - "your business."

Well, thanks, I am taking responsibility. I will do what I can, I am just tired of ex harping on me when the order says the job has to take it out. It doesn't require me to pay he directly so I am just waiting for them todo the wage garnishment. I am told it is a burden for them, but it should be just as simple as taking out money for my health insurance. They do it on my first pay, so why not now. I guess I have to talk to them

[msir]

NCP, me, is directed to pay CS via wage garnishment. The garnishment has not started. The order states until the garnishment starts the NCP makes the payments himself. CSEA has me behind 3 payments. I have sent a payment directly to the CP. I think I was supposed to send to CSEA. I want to send CSEA a letter stating I paid CP and submit copy of money order stub. Will they give me credit for it in their system?


What happens if my job refuses to never honor the wage withholding order but I continue paying on my own to not get behind. Will they dismiss the wage withholding order and continue letting me pay on my own?

[cadillac59]

NCP, me, is directed to pay CS via wage garnishment. The garnishment has not started. The order states until the garnishment starts the NCP makes the payments himself. CSEA has me behind 3 payments. I have sent a payment directly to the CP. I think I was supposed to send to CSEA. I want to send CSEA a letter stating I payed CP and submit copy of money order stub. Will they give me credit for it in their system?


What happens if my job refuses to never honor the wage withholding order but I continue paying on my own to not get behind. will they dismiss the wage withholding order and continue letting me pay on my own?

You should get credit for what you paid directly, of course.

As to your employer not honoring the wage assignment, you might tell them to watch out. In California an employer who willfully refuses to honor a wage assignment is directly liable to the support obligee for the support payment not withheld, PLUS interest. (Family Code Section 5421(a).) In other words, if your employer doesn't deduct the support from your paycheck, the employer OWES IT DIRECTLY TO THE CP HIMSELF WITH INTEREST FOR BEING LATE! They get notified of all this stuff with the wage assignment order.

Will the wage assignment order be dismissed for the failure of your employer to honor it? Ah, NO WAY.

[msir]

I've already sent her the payment . How can I prove to dcsea that I paid directly to cp. The order states I must pay to dcsea until wage holding starts. Right now dcsea has me delinquent on all payments which is correct. I havvnt sent any nor ha job since order so ii sent this one to her to not get behind. She thinks its not cs because its not through DCSEA as ordered and says I'm still responsible for all payments.

[cadillac59]

I've already sent her the payment . how can I prove to dcsea that I paid directly to cp. the order states I must pay to dcsea until wage holding starts. right now dcsea has me delinquent on all payments which is correct. I havvnt sent any nor ha job since order so ii sent this one to her to not get behind. She thinks its not cs because its not thru DCSEA as ordered and says im still responsible for all payments.

No, you'll get credit for anything you pay. The mom's not going to be able to double dip.

You prove your payments by copies of the checks you sent showing she cashed them (NEVER said cash-- in almost any dispute over cash payments in which it's your word against hers you're going to lose). Be sure to send all future payments to your local child support agency as ordered and you should be fine. And give them copies of any checks you wrote to the mom already and ask they give you credit.