[jumpsfroggie]

OK, it's a long story and a bit hard to explain but I want to help my friend.

To start of with my best friend got a new boyfriend but he got to 'clingie' and would never leave her so after a few weeks of trying to see it through she finally dumped him. The guy, Reece didn't take it to well (apperently he had a long relationship in Primary school and when they broke up he went a bit strange). He was planning to run away, be emo and become suicidal, however me, having some experience in that area try to help him (It was one time ago and it felt like I had no friends, but I got new friends).

After 35 suicide attempts! We became close friends, best friends in fact even though he is a boy and I'm a girl. As time goes by in high school we get feelings for each other. I know that nothing is ever going to happen, he's by best friends-ex and a bit mental, so eventually I get over him but he hasn't got over me. I tried to tell him but things didn't happen the way I planned so both of us went a bit emo (I know it was stupid, but I didn't feel horrible for virtually killing my friend). So I tell him my dreams where misguiding me as I hated seeing him like this (in my dreams I kept kissing someone I am pyhsically attractted to).

After a few days I tell him because its not healthy for either of us. Now things have died down and seem normal between us, but he is finding it very difficlut to cope with (I don't see why, its not like we went out :S) he keeps having 'prefect' dreams where we kiss but wakes up and wants to die because its not happening.

I want to help my friend not to feel so depressed angry and pathetic but I have tried but I am a bit sick of telling him the same things over and over. If any body has and tips, please I would like to hear them.

fnx. X
p.s I duno if it helps but were both 15

[sunshineangel]

It sounds like that guy really liked you. I think that's where his hang up is coming from. It also sounds like he's thought a lot about you physically. Sometimes one person in a relationship tends to hold on a lot longer than the other.

I would try spending less time with him. You want to wean him off you so to speak. Point out another girl and nudge him with your elbow, those kind of things. You want to get his attention off you. It sounds like this is a time where he needs a good friend. If he has other guy friends let him hang with them for a while. Let him get his feelings sorted out before you guys get back to your real friendship again.

[xxariesxx]

At least you do realize that this isn't healthy at all.

You can't be responsible for his physical well-being. My ex boyfriend was suicidal and depressed and it took a huge toll on our relationship, and it does wear off on you. The above poster is right in that you need to take his attention off you. Just do it slowly, and if he threatens suicide or hurting himself because you're not spending enough time with him, that's emotional blackmail; you need to talk with your parents or a trusted adult, or his parents even, to help him. You are both too young to deal with feelings like that on your own.

I can tell that you care about him a lot. So don't lead him on, push the attention away from yourself, and make it LESS about YOU helping him and more about HIM helping HIMSELF. You can't save anyone, that's just a romantic notion we're led to believe. He has to save himself and do better for himself. So help him see that and if he threatens to do something to himself you need to tell someone.

[jumpsfroggie]

thanks for the replys, I really mean it =].
just to let you know we have made promises not to be suicidal so there's no worries there. I'm not sure if you understand the it properly, but I want him to get over it so I don't feel guilty anymore which I know I shouldn't. Well as I always say knowing the problem is 50% of the solution, so one again thanks.x