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Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 08:27 AM

I know I should but he's hurt me enough for me to know that I would NEVER call him. So I leave for Dominican on SUnday! I'm excited enough but I still feel really $h*tty about all of this. Him and I were supposed to go away for New Year's, doesn't look like that that's happening though. My birthday is on Thursday, why do I want him to call me? This is all still pretty freash and I wake up every morning with so many questions, questions thaqt haer unfve been answered but still haven'tt sunk in to my thick skull. He doesn't want me, he doesn't want to be with me, ( we did have fun together many times and our sex was amazing) I just still love him annd miss him dearly. He will ne never find someone like me who can love and care for him like I did or could have. Sad sad story.

jmw0713 · Nov 14, 2008, 08:43 AM

The first month of NC is really hard. You will have all sorts of emotions and feelings going through your head right now. This is just your mind healing itself. The mornings and the nights will be rough as well. That's why YOU NEED TO STAY BUSY. The trip to the Dominican is GREAT. You need to acknowledge your new freedom and LET LOOSE.

Remember, you cannot act on these feelings to contact him. Nothing will come out of it except MORE pain and hurt.

Be strong!! These feelings will pass and you will find how strong and independent you can be on your own. That alone will be enough to attract a guy much, MUCH more suited for you.

Stay Strong!

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 10:53 AM

Maybe he wasn`t suited for me. I am outgoing and lovable person who likes to go out and have fun, all he ever wanted to do was sit home and watch sports, never wanted to go to a c lub or bar to be social, but I fell in love with him. I appreciated that he didn`t want to go out and spend his money frivoulously. I mean we are two different people, but opposites attract right. I feel like .

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 10:56 AM

Like my whole world has crumbled around me. I have great friends and a family that loves me dearly. He didn`t want to be apart of that. That makes me sad. He judged me and my family, we are no Brady bunch that`s for sure, but we do have love for each other. He said Ì`ll always have love for you, I don`t want him to even do that!

jmw0713 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:13 AM

This guy was OBVIOUSLY not suited for you. You have completely different interests than he does. You want to go have fun... while he wants to sit at home like a worthless bump on a log.

I can guarantee you will find someone MUCH better than him.

Plus, don't ever let someone judge you and your family. Your family is there for you NO MATTER WHAT, unlike this a$$.

Your much better than him and you will find someone much better than him... I promise.:)

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:26 AM

Maybe I will find much better, but it`s him that I want. I can still go out and have fun without hi. I don`t know all I know is that my heart hurts and I can`t help to always think of him and want to be with him. He doesn`t want that nor does he want me and that sucks. I can`t control what he feels or thinks but he left so abruptly and so harsh. I feel insulted and all the great things I ever did for him and his family don`t amount to nothing. He said all the times we fought take over all that, so mean and hurtful. I doidn`t deserve thaT . Who knows if he will ever call me or regret what he`s done. Maybe he doesn`t even know the answer to that. His parents ¸getting divorced in the next month and that is going to hurt him so much. I know how he feels about it and he`s not going to do too well with that. I feel bad for him and I don`t want him to go through that alone:(

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:29 AM

I know it`s not my problem, I just feel bad. I`ve done it, it`s not easy to do, especially alone

jmw0713 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:37 AM

Well.. you have to let him handle this on his own. Don't let him put the burden of his family issues on you.

You may not see it right now, but YOU WILL FIND BETTER. You know what you want and it's not him! You have to believe that. Don't keep thinking about the past.. it's called moving on for a reason. You move FORWARD from the pain and suffering and become stronger

In times like these you must listen to your HEAD, not your heart. You already know what you have to do...so it's time to be a strong woman, pick your heart up off the floor, STOP DWELLING, and carry on with out him. You also need to start talking about this with your family and friends... they are there to support you.

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:42 AM

They are but I find that they tell me what I want to hear at times, afraid of hurting my feelings. I need an objective view, someone who is not so emotionally attached to me, that`s why I`m hear and venting as I`m sure my fam is sick of hearing about this. Thank you for taking the time to understnd how I feel and giving me your advice. It meanss so much. I thought he was thew one, we talked about family, kids, long life together. Now, back to square one. I have so many feelings running through my head and I have these weird nightmares, often not being able o fall asleep after. I wish this wasn`t happening to me and I wis that we could be together but it`s not going to happen. Brutal.

jmw0713 · Nov 14, 2008, 12:03 PM

Well.. you need to stop thinking about him.

You need to go out and find something to do to occupy your time and your mind.

Maybe try joining a club or a gym. After my ex broke up with me, I enrolled in Martial Arts and joined a gym. So during the week I do stuff at work then either go to the gym or Taekwondo class. The intense workouts really drain me so by the time I get home I just want to relax and fall asleep. Plus, I can't argue with the fact that I am really getting in shape.:D

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 12:05 PM

Good for you! I wish you all the best. Keep up the good work:)

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 12:10 PM

You can do the same you know? It is easy to lay around in self pitty questioning the world, but that gets you no where. Time to pick yourself up and get moving!

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 12:18 PM

Hey, there you are. I know and 'm doing my best I can. I got my test results back and got 97%. Just think had I not been thinking of him I would have got 100. I just feel like, well you know how I feel, not goo, but getting better. Those damn nightmares won't ease though. I know they will with time.

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 12:23 PM

You think I would leave you forever?? Come on kid... That is awesome on the test. You are a stud! There is no way I could have taken a test after my break up... The nightmares will come and go, but then you wake up, look in the mirror and realize that you are still there and have so much to offer some lucky guy! Time will be your best friend right now, and this website.

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 02:06 PM

:) Hey, hope you're doing well today! Question: If he doesn't call does that make him a coward?

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 02:07 PM

And winner winner chicken dinner? What does that mean??

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Sherin333

And winner winner chicken dinner? What does that mean ?????

It is from a movie called "21" with Kevin Spacey.

If he doesn't call... it doesn't matter! The time is now for you to stop questiong him and start questioning yourself... as in why in the hell do you still care? I know you love him, but he is probably out having the time of his life right now... why shouldn't you be enjoying yourself and making yourself happy. Let me ask you an honest question: When was the last time you thought about yourself?

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 02:24 PM

Honestly. I think about myself more and more and I do see a big improvement. But when him and I were together, yes I puthim first, I shouldn't have done that and maybe that one of the reasons I am in this situation. I do love myself, but I often even before him had a hard time enjoying my own company, I always need to be around people. Been like that since I was a kid. Not to mention my parents divorce really f$#@ed me up. I know now that I must never put anyone before me because at the end of th day or the relatuionship for that mtter, I 'm the only one I've got! By the way he is not having the time of his life, I think he is oing the exat same thing as before, just without me.

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 02:26 PM

Well, one of you should be having the time of their life... might as well be you first huh?

Sherin333 · Nov 14, 2008, 02:34 PM

I suppose. It is a definite that between him and I am the more spontaneous and active of the two. I just miss him and I miss him. He knows that I want him and it kills that he doesn't give two rats asses!