[LifeChangesMan]

My question is to you people in long term relationships over a year I suppose or so, and have asked your spouse for some time/space for whatever the reason maybe, please talk about your reason for asking for this space and NC? how long did it take? How did it turn out? Did you think about your spouse during the break? Basically anything, I'm kind of curious to those who have asked for one because I'm always on the crappy end, :mad: lol

[Kitten78]

That's a good question!!
I am always on the crappy end too...
I have never wanted space from my love.

[LifeChangesMan]

Anyone? Nothing? Come on.

[TrueFaith]

I have asked my girlfriends for space.. when I was to scared to say them to I don't want to go out with them anymore..


Then once they are out of my life for a week I call them up and say its not going to work out.

That is what I use to do.. I have since then grown and speak my mind.

And no when I have thought about taking breaks or having space (asking for space or a break is never a good sign.. means one person has given up on the relationship, and trying to fix the problems at hand)

It means I do not feel the same way about them as they do about me, and I'm looking to end it.. in a nice way.

But I found that this never works.
So the best bet is to be honest

[LifeChangesMan]

Do breaks ever lead to healthy relationships? And people realizing they need that person in their life?

[kstme]

Some times a break does lead to a healthier relationship... but it depends on the amount of emotion, situations, and personalities of those involved...
My husband and I were together for 10 and married for 9 years... we didn't spend every single spare moment together... sometimes I had to ask for some space... sometimes he did... so we made our own "breaks" and it did make our relationship stronger and made us realize that we did need each other.
My husband passed away... I've been in one long term relationship since... when I did need to ask for a few days of space to sort out some family issues that didn't involve him, explained everything openingly and honestly and I wasn't using it as an excuse to dump him... but all hell broke loose! (I got yelled at, screamed at, I was seeing someone else, I didn't care about him, I didn't love him... etc. I knew he wasn't going to be thrilled with the request... but I didn't really expect all of that!! )

I believe if the relationship is meant to be, then it will survive a break... if the love, trust and understanding/knowing of each other are there, if both partners are willing to make it happen and willing to work... then it will be stronger.
And yes, sometimes it takes being away from someone you love to make you realize just how much you want and need that person in your life...

[talaniman]

In real, and healthy relationships, the partners work together to solve their problems, no matter the circumstances, not ask for breaks, or space.

Sometime we regret the break up, but its usually for the best.

[LifeChangesMan]

I agree with you tal but, I can't help but say theirs ALWAYS an exemption to the rule! :D

[talaniman]

Your correct, and we always think we are that exemption.

[kctiger]

I think that what you have to realize is that when two people break up, there is a fundamental difference in the two that needs to be changed for a future relationship to EVER work out. I know it is hard to let go of someone who is so important to you and whom you love so much, but in order for your life to go on, you cannot sit there thinking that eventually he/she will come back to you. It is possible for a couple to reunite after they have broken up... it is impossible for that new reunited relationship to go anywhere if nothing has really changed. For your own sanity and your own development, you need to truly believe that it is over. I know it is hard, really hard, but that is just how life is.

[LifeChangesMan]

Is there a difference between asking for space? And between asking for a break?

[talaniman]

When someone tells you that, ask what they mean. Then you don't have to assume. No matter how you feel about it, its best, I think, to give them what they ask for.