This is not right is it?

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 01:42 AM

I don't know man anymore...

Last night he really embarressed me in front of friends.

We went to our friends and I cooked dinner. While at table my friend got up and asked if my man wanted a drink, he was talking and talking to the guy near him and I could see my friend getting irrate as my man wasn't answering so I said " mike! John is asking if you want a drink?"
He got attitude and said 'alright alright' f**ks sake I hear u', but I'm talking here'
John said all I need is a yes or a no. Then my man turned to me and said 'i have learnt to ignore your voice over the last years'

Then we went to smoke a cigarette outside and I said that comment was uncalled for in front of everyone and he started rubbing his eyes saying OH STOP BEING SILLY

NOW WAS THAT Necessary?

Everyone looked at me like with the look like - how dare he speak to you like that!

Anyway after dinner we sat on sofa. I went on my friends laptop and went to Facebook. I came across a photo of when I was 8 yrs old. It was a school class photo. So I asked to my man.. ' come have a look at this ' the guy who was sitting near me said to my man ' here mate come sit here near her ' and he got up. My man didn't even have the deceny to come near me, all he did was move and said ' I can't see anything '.

So I ignored him. As we left and got in car - I started telling him he is cold jerk and I don't understand. I said if you can't apologise for that you are cold and inconsiderate.

Anyway went home he went to bed immediately.. woke up this morning went to work - no kiss - no sorry and big FAT NOTHING!

What shall I do?
I been with his man for 9 years...
What is his problem.
Prior to this everything was going fine.. like id leave him I love messages on the fridge and he would reply and make me coffee's in the morning
Why did he blow it!

What should my course of actions be?

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 01:42 AM

I thought I could leave the morning pass as its 9.30am here... leave till at least noon to see if he messages but I'm not holding breathe...

And then I message saying this :-

You still don't have the deceny to message me to say sorry. You done wrong last night. No excuse. I felt bad calling you a prick even thou you acted like one. But if you said sorry in the first place I wouldn't have. You better have an apology because if not don't bother to come home. I'm tired you of being so cold and hurtful. It was going great and you blew it. I'm so upset

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 02:15 AM

Good on you for the message! This guy is being a complete a*****e!!

Any chance your relationship has will come from you standing up for and respecting yourself.. if you just roll over and take it he will keep on walking all over you until something better comes along and he walks away.

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 02:17 AM

Thanks for your answer.
I have not msgd him yet. Im waiting till noon (another 2 hrs) I'm giving him a chance. If not aplogetic message by then I'm send that message...

Why is he acting like such a jerk. Can't even understand why he finds it so hard to say sorry when he damn well knows he hurt me...

This is a 33 yrs old man!!

He won't walk away...
But I will if he isn't careful

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 02:28 AM

I wouldn't wait.. this man is not going to say sorry... id bet my dinner on it :(

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 02:29 AM

How long have you been with him?

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 02:30 AM

Oh ill bet on it too! I know him too well... he is killing me from the inside...

He can't ever say sorry. I'm tired of him... every time we argue - he hurts me so much due to this...

I'm going to send it now he is an a******e

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 02:35 AM

Sounds to me like you know what you need to do...

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 02:43 AM

Been togethre since 1999!

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 02:44 AM

Leave him?

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 03:03 AM

I don't think its going to get better, hope it does for your sake.

Doesn't matter how long you've been together if its no good.

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 03:06 AM

I sent the message and it hasn't be delivered.
What hurts me is he can be SOOOO nice...

He is caring, loveable, he does things in the house and enjoys planning holidays etc... he is trustworthy

But when these things happen he is the biggest jerk on the planet..
He knows it hurts me..
His policy is - I can't say sorry if I haven't done wrong.
He is stubborn / hard headed...

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 03:10 AM

He is right about not saying sorry if he'd done nothing wrong but he has in hurting you if he doesn't have the respect for you to see this his being nice at times doesn't cover being this mean at times.

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 03:13 AM

No its true. It can't cover it.

I can't stomach it anymore...

I think being single would be less hurtful.

He has been hurting me but he thinks I'm being silly.
Very selfish isn't it?

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 03:22 AM

I think he's just not interested anymore and he thinks you'll just stay and take it... its time to let it go.
Being single will not only be less hurtful it could be fun!

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 03:23 AM

I don't think he is not interested. I know him too well and he does loves me. But he can be very weird.

He knows what a prick he can be!

Maybe we need a break.

neverme · Nov 13, 2008, 03:35 AM

You know what is best..

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 03:38 AM

I'm so confused.. all I know is I want an apology.

Last time we had an argument he cooked me bought fish and wine and cooked me a very special dinner. And it was fantastic.
His actions said sorry, if you know what I mean...

But this issue yesterday was for no apparent reason and disrespected me in front of friends and treated me bad and acted like a kid.

flower81 · Nov 13, 2008, 04:47 AM

The message has been delivered about 1 hr ago. He still didn't reply.. I don't no whether to message back or leave it... my head is so messed up by his actions I just don't no what to do.. he is driving me crazy

talaniman · Nov 13, 2008, 05:55 AM

Not to excuse his bad behavior at all, but a big mistake to make this into something bigger, than it is. This didn't start with a simple argument over a comment, we both know that.

Let the emotional dust settle, and talk about it. A few days of peace, will do you good. Give each other some space. If your not going to at least put out an olive branch, don't text. Why should you.

I read his text in your other post, and since you both want an apology for what you both think you've been wronged about, you are at stalemate so back off, and don't trip about his attitude.

Sometimes it doesn't matter who was right or wrong, but how you go about rectifying the situation, and a cool head goes a long way.

He is upset, as are you, and nothing is accomplished butting heads, and making demands, whether they are deserved or not.

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