Check out some similar questions!

jeanieskiff3 · Nov 11, 2008, 03:07 PM

I will be 17 in 3 months, I'm attending a charter school, I live in California, and my parents let my boyfriend move in and pay rent because he was living with his Dad and his step mom but it was way too crowded. Now my parent's are kicking him out I know they have the right to do so but I don't feel safe here without him because my Dad (on some occasions) physically abuses me as well as emotional abuse. I have been looking for a job for awhile and I'm currently babysitting but I know to get emancipated you need a legal job with legal pay and I am now getting even more serious about getting a job.. Would getting emancipated be a good idea for me? Is it even possible?

cdad · Nov 11, 2008, 06:14 PM

At your current age you might as well wait for 18 to appear because by the time you establish the needed goals to " prove " you can be emancipated and go through the court system your talking about the same thing. BTW how old is the boyfriend and why did they kick him out ?

jeanieskiff3 · Nov 11, 2008, 11:33 PM

He's 20 years old and they kicked him out because "God told them it's not right for him to be living here" or whatever.

Oh another question, I was thinking about calling CPS but I don't know what would happen to me. So what would happen?

kraussnumber2 · Nov 12, 2008, 02:22 AM

I don't think it will be worth it to try to get emancipated. Just try to spend time away from home as much as possible... like work or hang out with friends or get involved in something at school or church.
As far as cps goes... most of the time they try to keep the family together. So chances are unless there is severe abuse going on and evidence to back it up they aren't going to take you out of the home. I would recommend talking to a trusted adult like a teacher, coach, or youth pastor that can help you decide what to do based on the specifics of your situation. They can help you decipher if there is a true reason to call cps. There are hotlines you can call to talk to counselors about abuse and whatever else. I don't know the numbers off the top of my head but search around on the internet a bit and you should be able to find some. These are confidential meaning they won't tell your parents and I don't think you even have to tell them your name if you don't want to.
In the mean time... if you sense that your dad is gearing up to mood that could be dangerous find a reason to leave the house. Or just go to bed, take a shower, etc... don't argue with him or push him further.
If you feel that unsafe you should talk to another relative... like your grandparents, older siblings who have moved out, etc and see if you can stay with them until you turn 18. Or try talking to your mom and see what she thinks.
Like I said calling cps doesn't mean they will take you out of the home... and that could anger your dad more that you called. It would be best to talk to an adult that you trust... maybe even a friends parents.
I hope things start going better and that you stay safe. It if gets that bad and your life is in danger call 911!

Fr_Chuck · Nov 12, 2008, 05:32 AM

Well first you have to have a job that will pay rent and all bills, on your OWN, and have enough money saved to pay court costs and hire an attorney.

Then you file and if your parents fight it, the court process can take months.

So to be honest by the time you get a job, save up the money and file, you will already be 18.

If you are being physcially abused you call CPS and report it,

But to be honest they were wrong to ever let him move in to start with.

jeanieskiff3 · Nov 12, 2008, 02:20 PM

Fr_Chuck: Well first you have to have a job that will pay rent and all bills, on your OWN, and have enough money saved to pay court costs and hire an attorney.

Then you file and if your parents fight it, the court process can take months.

So to be honest by the time you get a job, save up the money and file, you will already be 18.

If you are being physcially abused you call CPS and report it,

But to be honest they were wrong to ever let him move in to start with.

Well with all respect, my parents are very strong Christians and he lives downstairs and pays rent. He goes to work everyday and is very responsible for his age. We also follow the rules they set for us. And my parents weren't going to let him live with his two sisters in one room that was already small to begin with. And if it weren't for my boyfriend, things would be a lot worse around here. He's the only one who stands up for me and protects me in this household.

kraussnumber2 · Nov 12, 2008, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by jeanieskiff3

Fr_Chuck: Well first you have to have a job that will pay rent and all bills, on your OWN, and have enough money saved to pay court costs and hire an attorney.

Well with all respect, my parents are very strong Christians and he lives downstairs and pays rent. He goes to work everyday and is very responsible for his age. We also follow the rules they set for us. And my parents weren't going to let him live with his two sisters in one room that was already small to begin with. And if it weren't for my boyfriend, things would be a lot worse around here. He's the only one who stands up for me and protects me in this household.

I see what you are saying but that honestly might be part of the reason they are kicking him out. Im glad they didn't just let him sleep in your room with you, that is just not a good idea. But if I were in their situation ever and my daughter's boyfriend stood up to me or my husband he would be out of the house. Your parents have the right to make the rules in the house and they have the right to discipline you as they see fit regardless of how your boyfriend feels about it. Im not trying to sound mean or anything so please don't take it that way. However there is a line between discipline and abuse and it should not be crossed. Talk to a trusted adult about what is honestly going on and they will help you decide if it is abuse or just discipline that you don't like. Good luck hun!

kraussnumber2 · Nov 12, 2008, 03:57 PM

Opps sorry the little quote from fr-chuck got in there too... didn't mean for that to happen.

cdad · Nov 12, 2008, 05:23 PM

[/quote]
Well with all respect, my parents are very strong Christians and he lives downstairs and pays rent. He goes to work everyday and is very responsible for his age. We also follow the rules they set for us. And my parents weren't going to let him live with his two sisters in one room that was already small to begin with. And if it weren't for my boyfriend, things would be a lot worse around here. He's the only one who stands up for me and protects me in this household.[/QUOTE]

Since you say he is responsible and that he is 20 years old. Keep in mind that you are only 16 years old. So to adults that makes him very imature because he should be becoming a man and not be playing with children. If he is so responsible then why doesn't he get a place of his own rather then trying for easy girlfriend access ? It also seems very possible that he has twisted your thinking about your parents. You really need to examine your priorities. Should you call CPS and they take you from your parents then you would be placed into the foster care system. Being in that system you could face much more abuses then you could imagine. Not all foster care is bad but there are many that have gone from bad to worse over the years. You could unknowingly be placed into a bad situation.