[invisible woman]

DETAILS:

I am four weeks pregnant. My husband and I had only been married one year before we finally got pregnant. I love my husband more than anything. We never do anything without one another. We both want to have the child, but I'm scared to know that I will love something more than my own husband. I can't imagine loving something more than him and deep down I fear this might effect my relationship with my child and my husband in a seriously negative way.

We live together, we work together, we never do anything without one another. I know this is common for the first year or so of marriage- I was told it's called caccooning. I'm more nervous about having to take time off work than recovering from delivery. I love working side by side with my husband full-time and I don't want that to change. I feel codependent with my husband, but it has been a functioning and happy thing for almost two years. This is both of our first child, so we are pretty clueless on what to expect.
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TO THE POINT:

I'm curious how having a child at this point in our marriage will effect our relationship. What I might expect or how I can prepare (both he and myself).

How does having a child effect a codependent marriage?
Does working together help prepare for the teamwork involved in raising a child? Or does it hinder?
What do I do if- worst case scenario- I do not become attached to the child, become an abusive/jealous mother.. How will I know when this is happening? What can I do when/if it does?
Is it unhealthy to use a nanny/babysitter 2pm-12midnight 4-6 days a week? How will this distance effect my child's relationship towards us?

[Justwantfair]

First of all, it very common to be nervous at the prospect of raising another person completely dependent on you and your husband. It sound like your husband and yourself have a very happy, healthy marriage. The birth of a baby is something very special and will no doubt have a drastic effect on your outlook. I would never look at loving a new child as more or less than your husband as you will never want to view future children in that regard either. You will love your new child in a way that is the same and different than the way you love your husband. You will probably find that throughout the experience you may even grow to love and appreciate your husband more, as he may feel the same about you. There is not a lot your can do to really prepare, you can read, purchase the necessities, but it will be a new wonderful experience. You may find that it can be trying but you will learn to grow with each passing day. Your marriage will hopefully thrive with a new baby in the picture, as long as you keep lines of communication open, especially for the times that are stressful and challenging. Working together should have helped to provide a solid foundation for working together to raise a child, you may have conflicting views in the future about what the right choice may be, but working together will have help build the foundation of compromising together to find the appropriate solution. I think you will find your ability to love this new creation a wonderous experience. Using a nanny/babysitter is always acceptable, although you will always regret the time that you missed with your child especially through the young years if you have the ability to stay at home, it is always a wonderful alternative and you will find that it can increase the bond between you and your child that will affect the rest of your child's development.