[KSL25]

Hi Everyone,

So here is my question. I've been dating this guy who is in the military for almost 8 months now. He lives about 3 hours away. I feel like our relationship have been going downhill for the last 4 months, and feel like he no longer wants to be with me, and also that he isn't putting in any effort.

The first few months were wonderful. We would see each other at least once a week. We talked pretty much everyday on the phone. He's a really good guy, and when we are together I enjoy being with him and we have a good time. But I've gotten to a point where I know that I won't be seeing him for weeks at a time, I know I won't be talking to him that often, and I have gotten used to it. He's from a different country, and is moving to my city when he is out of the army. Which I am very happy about.

Within the last 3 months I have only seen him for a total of 4 days. We talk about once every 3 days. He used to have a work phone but about 4 months ago, he had to give it back to the Military because they didn't really need him to be working. Now he has pay as you go, and only buys 10 minuntes at a time, which last a total of maybe 20 minutes. I have offered so many times to come and pick him up(he doesn't have a car). He tells me he can't ask me to do that, and feels like he is taking advantage of me. I've told him each time that I don't mind, and if I did, I wouldn't offer. I would travel to see him any chance I got, but the thing is I have to pay for a hotel room because civilians aren't allowed on base. So paying for gas is cheaper than paying for a hotel room. He's told me about times when girls hit on him, tell him they like him, and also asking him to hang out with them(these are girls who aren't friends with him). We would make plans to see each other, and about a day before I would travel to see him something always came up. Its happened so many times I don't bother making plans anymore because I just get disapointed when I find out its not going to happen. He used to tell me that if I wanted to end our relationship that it was up to me. It almost seemed as if he wanted me to end it so he wasn't responsible for ending it. But I wasn't going to give up that easily. He will be moving here in a weeks time, and Im not going to throw everything away because I can't wait a week.

Another thing. When I first met him he had mentioned that he didn't really want to stay in the military and was thinking about moving to Canada. He now tells me he is doing all this for me. Moving here, buying a house, just so we can stay together. But the thing is he talks to friends back home, and doesn't even mention me, he tells them he is staying out here because he likes canada, and because he loves the snowboarding out here.

Does it sound like he is putting in any effort, or even wants to be with me?

[Romefalls19]

Wait, so you have been going downhill for half of the relationship? This many problems already, might be better to cut your losses now because it doesn't seem like it will be any better. The choice is yours, he doesn't seem too interested to me

[talaniman]

This doesn't sound like much of a relationship, and maybe you should hold off on any commitments to him, until you can be more face to face, and work things out, if you can.

Till actions match words, be very cautious, and don't just be lead down the wrong path.

He doesn't sound that committed, nor interested, frankly.

[KSL25]

Thanks for both of the answers. He will be moving here really soon, so if nothing changes with our relationship then I know what I have to do.

[TrueFaith]

Good luck. I know that L.D.R can be real tough..

Tal is right until his actions match his words

Be careful

See how it goes when he moves there with you..

Best of luck :)