[Fiona2003]

I have gotten the advice to have a heart-to-heart with my boyfriend.

Problem is, he hates "talks" because he says he always feels cornered in those situations.
It doesn't seem to be a "blow off" because I have watched his body language and he literally will start sweating, coldly staring off into space and holding onto his chair. It really seems to bugger the heck out of him.

His mom did help me out by telling me she only had "talks" with her sons when she meant to scold them or needed them to do something she knew they weren't going to like doing (like yard chores, etc.)

How do I face this task? I have things I really need to tell him.

E-mailing doesn't work. He said my e-mails come off as if I am "laying down the law laced with 'I love yous' " So, basically it is I who feel like the cornered one. I feel like I can't sit down and talk with him, he'll misconstrue every e-mail I send, and it would be silly to go to couples counseling because we are not married.

He's never been in a serious relationship longer than 5 months prior to meeting me. We're together since May of last year.

Any advice as to what I could say or do to make this communication possible?

[friend4u178]

Communication is one of the fundamentals of a successful relationship.

I think you need to stress to him that you need to speak to him and it's only fair that he puts in the effort to not only listen but contribute to your discussions.

If he's not willing to do that then he obviously doesn't value your relationship enough in my opinion. Are you willing to go through the rest of your life without being able to communicate with him?

Good Luck!

[xxariesxx]

Perhaps the first thing to try to talk to him about, is how it's important that you both can talk to each other.
Tell him that you are not trying to make him feel badly when you need to talk, it's just something that all couples need to do in order to have a healthy relationship. You can warn him that not all conversations might be pleasant, but that it is necessary to talk through things in order for you to both be happy and trust each other.
Tell him how important it is that you both be happy and trust each other, and that communcation is key to true happiness and trust.
Not all conversation can be fun and games, that's just life.

[talaniman]

How old are you both, and how long has this relationship been going on??

[Fiona2003]

We are in our 30s and we are seeing each other since May of 2007.

[talaniman]

Back off, as your both to old for the games, and its quite telling after a year, your not communicating. What's changed in a year and a half? Are you pushing for more, and he is happy with the way things are or what??