[gretchen2000]

I'm nineteen years of age and my boyfriend is twenty-three. We've been together for four and a half years and lived together for a year. We love each other very much, we both can't imagine spending the rest of our lives without each other. We've been through good, bad and horrible times and we are still going strong. We are planning an engagement so we can prepare for our wedding but I'm scared of what my family may think. I know they won't approve of me getting married because of my young age or for the fact that I'm not totally financially stable for it yet, even though my boyfriend is . My boyfriend and I are very ambitious,and we are enrolling into college next year and know we will do just fine as long as we continue to love and support each other. I just don't want my family to be disappointed in me or for them to abandoned me for making this decision. I really need some helpful advice, should I wait for my family's approval, which I may never get?

[450donn]

Question for you. Who is paying for your college? You or your parents?
As for the marriage question, why not you are already having sex with him, you are probably already doing the cooking cleaning and laundry either together or separate so why not do it?
He does help with the choirs doesn't he?

[ScottGem]

You are already cohabitating, so getting married or not will have little effect on your financial status. So I don't see any reason why not.

[talaniman]

This is a decision for the two of you to make. That's all that matters, and everyone else just has to deal with it, the best way they can.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Love means waiting too.

I am only going to say that most people change in their 20s.

[Absolute]

Well, it sounds like you too love each other a lot, so it really shouldn't matter whether you two get married or not. Marriage is also about being together right? Well, you are, you don't have that "status" of being married. I'm not saying getting married isn't monumentus. But, things COULD change. Wait a while longer just in case. If things go well, why not but if they don't, you won't have to through the nasty divorce papers.

If you can't imagine yourself with anyone else why marry right away, you feel stable, loved, you don't need marriage to finalize anything.

Exp:

My Aunt isn't married to my "Uncle" and they've lived with each other for ten years. They didn't care about being married, they were just concerned about loving each other. They have a house together and they share a bank account but they don't want to rush into marriage because they know that something could happen. They don't want that. So they're still going to wait.

I'm not saying you have to wait TEN years. But think about it. There's not rush, you don't have to get married yet, it's not completely necessary. And, do you really want to risk your family disowning you? What if it doesn't work out, you'd have made a decision that ruined your families connection with you and the poosibility that they could never talk to you again or... it could never be the same between you. Think about every micro-scopic detail before you decide on this marriage because, if you think about it, even if it didn't end up working, it would still stay with you for a lifetime. You would never be able to say you've never been married, you'll never be able to forget the day you were married.

It'll be a lifetime.

-Absolute

[gretchen2000]

My paretns are paying for my tuition.

[wolf2008]

Look I can tell you from experience be absolutely sure that , that's what you want , I would live together a while longer the difference between marriage and living together is only the certificate. Finish you college and then get married. Because in the event of something goes wrong you are not married and can reorganize much faster.

[tiki49]

I would wait until you are both done with college--thats what my husband and I did. We are high school "sweethearts"--both done with college --got a job for a few years--then got married at 25. There is time in your young life for marriage.