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SoScaredTeen · Jun 30, 2006, 01:45 PM

I was with my ex for 1 year 7 months and we were trying for a baby for 7 months imterified I'm infertile.. we split and now I'm with my new boyfriend we only see each other about once/twice a month he's *** up me about 7 times split over two visits.. and I'm still not pregnant.. can too much sex cause infertility? I've been to a GUM clinic to and I have no STDs.. please someone help me I'm so scared that I'm infertile and I don't know what to do I'm 18 and I've had 4 sexual partners

aqua@home · Jun 30, 2006, 01:58 PM

I would try to relax a little. Once or twice a month means you might be completely missing when you ovulate. You need to figure out when you ovulate in order to know the best time to try to conceive.

If you are really that scared, there are tests that can be preformed.

Make sure you are in a committed relationship and this is really what you want to do. This is the time you have to really consider where you want your life to go. Really think. If you want to have a baby with your current boyfriend, how often you see him change? Do you want to be a single parent except for 4 days a month? Maybe none of this matters to you. Being a mature adult means making hard decisions and thinking about your future and the future of any children you want. Look around the forum. There are parents who are having money problems, discipline problems, etc.

I don't want to lecture, but I want to make sure you know to be ready for a child.

I wish you the best.

PS... I was 17 when I had my first... not easy.

DrJ · Jun 30, 2006, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by aqua@home

Make sure you are in a committed relationship and this is really what you want to do. This is the time you have to really consider where you want your life to go. Really think. If you want to have a baby with your current boyfriend, how often you see him change? Do you want to be a single parent except for 4 days a month? Maybe none of this matters to you. Being a mature adult means making hard decisions and thinking about your future and the future of any children you want. Look around the forum. There are parents who are having money problems, discipline problems, etc.

I don't want to lecture, but I want to make sure you know to be ready for a child.

I wish you the best.

Im going to have to agree here... you're only 18. Why are you trying to hard to have a baby?? You have PLENTY of time to become a mother. If you can't afford to get a fertility test, what makes you think you can afford a child?

My gf/wife was 18 when we had our daughter. And in no way do I regret having her. However, we were too young to have a child. It was very difficult. We just weren't ready.

I know I'm just some guy on a forum but I hope you will realize that you need to live your life and find out who you are before you are really ready to raise another soul in this world.

J_9 · Jun 30, 2006, 02:20 PM

Personally, and professionally, I have to agree with both of the answers you were given so far.

I had my first child at 22 and my last at 38. I look back now and see that I was in no way ready at 22.

Children are not only expensive, but you must give up your life for them.

As far as infertility is concerned... Stress plays a major factor as to whether you get pregnant. Also, if you are worried about infertility, two can play that game so to speak. He may be.

To give this "new" person a wonderful life, you must be in a permanently committed relationship.

I know it is wonderful to feel life grow inside you and to want someone who will love you unconditionally. But, the fact remains that a child is a lifetime of HARD work and dedication.

Please make sure you are ready to give up your life and friends, because that is what raising a child is all about.

SoScaredTeen · Jun 30, 2006, 02:23 PM

I can afford a fertility test I just didn't realise you can go out a buy one.. surely they can't be accrute though.. and I'm so scared that it will come out that I can't have kids

Well I never go out and my life is my partner and work really

J_9 · Jun 30, 2006, 02:32 PM

You cannot but a fertility test. You must see a doctor who will give this to you. It is extremely expensive.

In the best case scenario it can take upwards of a year to become pregnant when trying. You can only get pregnant when your cycle is right to become pregnant and that is on average only about 7 days per month, and that varies from woman to woman.

Do you have the expenses to raise a child? It is extremely expensive.

DrJ · Jun 30, 2006, 02:44 PM

You also said that you had been trying with the other guy for a year and 7 months... then you have now been trying with this new guy.

Why not wait until you are married and fully committed to someone? What if you find out that you are not infertile and you have a child with this guy? Then he leaves you? Now you're an 18 yr old single mother.

Odds are you aren't infertile. Infertility at your age is rare. Just don't worry about it. WHEN the times comes to build a family, research and learn more about it and how and when is the best time to become pregnant. Or even egg donors.

If nothing else, there are more parentless children in this world that could use a loving mother like you.

Chery · Jun 30, 2006, 02:48 PM

Infertility

How Do I Know I Have It?
Most doctors recommend that a woman younger than 35 who has tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for one year should get a complete infertility evaluation, as should her partner. If you are a woman over 35, check with your doctor after only six months of trying to become pregnant. Women over 40 and women with irregular (or absent) periods or other conditions that may affect fertility, like endometriosis, should see their doctor as soon as they decide to become pregnant. Not all infertility problems require invasive, high-tech treatments. But to be properly diagnosed and treated, you may need to be referred to a fertility specialist who is trained and certified in reproductive endocrinology. Ask your doctor or local hospital for recommendations, and shop around before choosing. It's imperative that you feel comfortable with your choice of a specialist.
A fertility evaluation includes a series of medical tests that, depending on your symptoms, can become lengthy and expensive. Ask the specialist what to expect so you can find out what your medical insurance will pay for; not all infertility workups are covered. Here are some of the tests available:

http://www.webmd.com/content/pages/1...?printing=true

Check out the linked site and find out about the tests.

In my opinion, after four partners, and your age factor, you probably are not a candidate for this diagnosis.

A visit to the Gynecologist will probably help reassure you.

You know that we all differ.. It took me eight months of tackling my husband morning, noon, and night to get pregnant - and I did not have any gynecological problems.

It could be that the men you were with were not as 'fertile' and/or virile as they thought. Some men are infertile and don't know it, due to childhood illnesses and some medications such as arthritis meds, psoriasis meds, beta-blockers, antidepressants, etc.

All in all, it should not be something that you rush into with just any guy. You should choose the fathers of your future children well, and plan a family by first trying on your own, and if that does not work, see a doctor and get tested together.

There are some women out there that get pregnant at the sight of a penis, but when they are confronted with being a single mother and not knowing where the rent money is coming from, it makes them wish they did not conceive so quickly.
And, then there are some women who just have to wait a little longer until that miracle happens. Which would you rather be?

At any rate, this is a serious issue and will take a lot of thought and patience, and planning on your part.. and the first step is to see your physician.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

P.S. On your search for a potential father, please be sure that you don't contract any diseases that will really ruin your dream of having children or a long and healthy life. PLEASE.

Originally Posted by SoScaredTeen

I can afford a fertility test I just didn't realise you can go out a buy one.. surely they can't be accrute though.. and I'm so scared that it will come out that I can't have kids

To my knowledge, there is no 'fertility test' that can be bought in a drugstore... This is a test done by physicians.. and should be done only if and when all other things have been ruled out.

You've received a lot of good advice here, and I do hope that you'll set some serious priorities in your life before bringing a new one into this world.

Good luck.

The only way to get 'unscared' is to get educated, about your body, and all else. Make a list of all the things you fear, and work on getting them resolved... that's called self-confidence.

SoScaredTeen · Jul 2, 2006, 12:17 PM

I was trying for 7 months for a baby

momincali · Jul 2, 2006, 12:50 PM

Please, please please stop trying to have a baby now. Grow up, find a man that you can commit to and will commit to you, get married, then look into getting pregnant. Even the birds make their nest before laying their eggs. Your child will need so much, including things that you can't buy. I couldn't imagine growing up in a home without my dad, don't do this to your child. When you do find your future husband, talk about the possibility of adoption. There are so many children in desperate need of a mommy and daddy and a place to call hom. Don't think that you can't love them the same just because they didn't come out of your body, they will steal your heart and wrap it around their little fingers before you know it. It will be one of the most gratifying things you will ever do in your life, but first, I beg you, for your child's sake, get into a real committed relationship first, create something that will last for your children's emotional well being.

SoScaredTeen · Jul 2, 2006, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by momincali

Please, please please stop trying to have a baby now. Grow up, find a man that you can commit to and will commit to you, get married, then look into getting pregnant. Even the birds make their nest before laying their eggs. Your child will need so much, including things that you can't buy. I couldn't imagine growing up in a home without my dad, don't do this to your child.

I wasn't aware you knew me.. I am committed I am not stupid.. and without a dad my baby won't be without his dad ever

momincali · Jul 2, 2006, 01:23 PM

I'm sorry you took offense to my post. You mentioned trying to get pregnant with one boyfriend, couldn't, broke up and now are trying to get pregnant with another.

No I don't know you but I am familiar. My boyfriend of 3 years knocked me up at 23. Although we had talked about one day having kids, this pregnancy wasn't planned. He told me that if I had an abortion, we would get married next year and try for a baby then, if not, he was gone. He said he thought he was ready but that actually, it would be too drastic of a change and he wasn't willing to make the sacrifice required. I told him I'd never abort and not to let the door hit him in the *** on the way out. I thought I knew him, I was convinced he would never leave me. He did. Fatherhood he said was not his cup of tea after all and left before the baby was born. I left my legal secretary job at 5:00 and went to wait tables from 6-11pm 5 days a week. I wanted to provide the most I could for my child since I had screwed up so badly in picking a boy and not a man. I didn't plan my pregnancy but I was so in love with the jerk I chose not to see his selfish, immature side and for that my baby paid the price. I moved in with my parents, not because I couldn't afford it on my own, but to give her some sort of semblance of an intact married family. He didn't come around until she was 4 and that was short lived. Once he realized that I wasn't interested in being romantic with a man who had abandoned his child, he left again. I never brought any men home to meet my daughter. Even when I met my husband, we dated for over a year before I ever let him meet her and pick my up at home. We married when she was 7 and he adopted her.

I don't know how old you are and can only assume that you are still a "teen". I know that age is mostly chronological but experience is not. All I wish for you and your future child is that you are in a stable intact home. My daughter had her grandpa and uncles around but even as a small child would ask me why she didn't have a dad. I devastated her little life with my selfish actions. I'm not saying you would want to bring this on your child and I realize that even married couples don't stay married all the time. I'm just hoping that you choose wisely cause love isn't enough. Best Wishes to you.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 2, 2006, 01:28 PM

Before I can add anything helpful to this, it would be nice to know if you can't be with your boyfriend a lot more than "once/twice a month", then who is going to support you emotionally, physically, and financially through your pregnancy and after the baby comes? And if its not him, how is he going to take being so left out?

SoScaredTeen · Jul 3, 2006, 11:10 AM

I'm 18.. were not trying for a baby yet we've been talking about it but its going to be a while.. im just scared that I am infertile cause of the time its taking and other things.. he's moving down here to be with me so that we can be closer the baby comes after we've found a place and got ourselves sorted

Chery · Jul 3, 2006, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by SoScaredTeen

i wasnt aware you knew me.. i am commited i am not stupid.. and without a dad my baby wont be without his dad ever

Honey, none of us really know you. We gather our information and provide advice upon what you provide. If we are not clear to you, then maybe you are not clear to us either. This site is based on INPUT and OUTPUT of information. So, the more you give us, the more we can give you.

It's your option to take our advice or leave it - you are not obligated to take it as gospel since you are considered an adult and can make your own choices.

You best bet for satisfaction in relieving your doubts and fears about yourself is to see a physician and get the 'real scoop' from him so that you can make your plans and reach your goals.

Again, good luck.

SoScaredTeen · Jul 4, 2006, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by Chery

Honey, none of us really know you. We gather our information and provide advice upon what you provide. If we are not clear to you, then maybe you are not clear to us either. This site is based on INPUT and OUTPUT of information. So, the more you give us, the more we can give you.

It's your option to take our advice or leave it - you are not obligated to take it as gospel since you are considered an adult and can make your own choices.

You best bet for satisfaction in relieving your doubts and fears about yourself is to see a physician and get the 'real scoop' from him so that you can make your plans and reach your goals.

Again, good luck.

Thank you chery