[anxious_RN]

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right forum or not.

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. I'm a nursing student graduating in 2011, and my boyfriend is in school for criminal justice and getting his associates next December. He will probably go back for his bachelors later. We have been dating for a year and seven months now, he is the love of my lfie, and we want to be together for the rest of our lives. We live with his parents currently.

For some reason lately, I want something to make me feel on my 'own'. Not just my own, but like him and me are on our own I guess, if that makes sense. I want our own apartment, but he doesn't think that we can afford it until he gets his associates degree. I always want to go out and buy appliances for when we move out, or stuff for when we do.

Even more, I CONSNTANTLY think about having a baby! I want a daughter or son with my boyfriend SO BAD! I can't wait I feel like! I ALWAYS think about it its always on my mind, 24/7. He also wants one but wants to wait, which I respect, I don't press him on it. And although I want one so bad, I know that waiting is best so that the baby can have the best possible life, with our finances and everything.

I always worry that his dad won't be able to remember our kid, he's in early stages of alzheimers and if we wait he's not going to be able to remember or know who his grandkid is, and that's so scary. Whenever I see him with his other grandkids it makes me want a kid that much more!

I guess I don't really know what I want to ask you. Why do I feel like this? Is there anythhing I can do to stop thinking about this?

It's bad. We just bought a fish yesterday, because it's the only thing that we could really get that makes me feel like is 'ours'. Weird, I know. But the urge is annoying.

[TrueFaith]

You want everything to happen

Now now now now!

You want the house. You want the family
Rigth away!

You don't want to wait for it.
Like you Have to wait for studies :)

Its normal how you are feeling. And your boyfriend seems really cool about it.

Although I bet he must go give it a rest sometimes ;).

Can I just say that I think you are very smart to wait for the baby.. you know that is the right choice.
And your boyfriend is right on the money issue
With all this stuff going on in the world..

It is very very hard and exspensive to have your own place.. and also studie and work at the same time.. it will put a lot of stress on the relationship.

As for his dad.. it is a shame.. but we can't rush things just on that issue alone.
Remember its Your life and his.. you have to live with whatever you do forever


So just Relax :) you are 19 you have not even lived yet. Everything will come.

You have all the time in the world to have a family and have your house

[dave146]

But her boyfriend´s father is dying. I would find it hard if I had to grow up, not knowing who my grandpa was... It must be hard.

[TrueFaith]

Dave


Does that mean she has to have a baby right away?

Of course not.. she is not ready yet.. she should wait.. lots of people grow up with out a granpa.. I'm not saying it's the way to go.
But
If her having a baby now will effect her studies... then its not worth it.

One life is ending
No need to mess up another.

I'm sure her father would tell her the same thing
Have a baby when you are truly ready

You never MISS what you don't Know

[dave146]

Well yeah you are kind of right but still... It might be depressing... But she has to study etc. so I agree with you... Plus I bet she has tons of work with her father.

[talaniman]

All things in there time, as everything you want you can have, if you work and plan. There really is no hurry either, so do it right, and enjoy it. Sorry about his father, that's a shame, but not a reason to have a baby, trust me. My kids never knew there grandmother, as she died before they where born, thank God, we have pictures.