[hopefuldad]

I have a son who will be 4 years old in March. I got his mother pregnant after a one night stand. Even though I did not know his mother, I have got to know her for the sake of our son. 2 days after she got out of the hospital she called me to "come take him" which I did. She did not return to pick him up for 8 days. She did this every month. There were times that she didn't see him for 2 weeks at a time. Then when he was 6 months old she met a guy, started dating and moved in with him. It was then that she said that they were going to start a family and that he was going to be my sons dad. She "supposedly" changed my sons last name back to hers. When we went to court, the court papers had our sons name, and then her last name. (at birth he had mine) THEN in January 07 we went to court. I was granted supervised visits in her home 2 days a week. I NEVER missed a visit but 5 out of 8 a month were cancelled cause they weren't convinent for her. She now has another child and asked me before to give up my rights. What are my rights as of right now anyway? When I did go to see my son he would call another man daddy in front of me, while his mother would smile and tell him to "give "call me by my first name" a hug goodnight its time for bed- only an hour into our visit. At 5:00 at night. If I give up rights that I don't even have, can my son find me when he is older? Can she change his last name with out my consent? Do I still pay child support for my son? Is she in contemp of court for the court order? After 6 months old supervised visits I was supposed to have him on weekends. At the 6 months mark she started not even showing up for visits, she moved, she changed her phone number. Pleace help.

[mishelly3]

DO you have a parenting plan drawn up by the court? If you have one you have to do what those papers tell you to do.. But it doest sound like you have one.. I might be worth your while to talk to an attorney and just have him tell you straight up what will happen. But, also an nice thing to remember that as kids grow they start making designs for themselves and they can potion the court to have the judge listen to him and he can ask for privacy . I went through something similar with my 3 kids but the best thing I ever did was NOT fight with or say bad things about him while my kids were in the house. They need to come up with their own decisions on there on, that's where my kids are know and have figured out their dad is kind of crappy but they found it out own there own I never said anything bad about him in our house id go to my mom and dads house when the kids were in school and went a complained then. Don't forget your kids and how they feel about things they Will definitely tell you how they feel.

[liz28]

You are a good man. It's good that you stepped up to the plate from day one and took care of your son even when the mother didn't and even though she was a one night stand.

You should've took her to court once she started cutting your visits, then you could've put her in contemp. Does your order states anything about her moving because it should've a section about that so reread your order and go to court, you might have to go to the court where she resides.

This lady is sad case of a mom. All because she met someone new she want to throw you out the picture because what women would let their child call another man dad and shut a father that want to be a father out of their child life. A stupid one. Who knows what she is filling his head with but hopefully when he gets older he will understand what his mother has done. Also, if this relationship of her don't work out then what? She is going ship him back to you? Sad! Sad that she is using the child as a pawn and in the long run messing him up.

Sorry this is happening but the only thing you can do is go back to court.

[d_marti]

I don't know where you live but here in PA you can not change the child's last name without the consent of both parents. You should look into the fact that she changed the child's last name. And no you should not give up your rights trust me I have the same problem. Keep fighting... it's what I'm doing and it will pay off sooner or later.