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Romefalls19 · Oct 30, 2008, 06:32 AM

Dean, I can tell you right now. You will NOT find a difference between them. Every story is the same, just different players in the chapters. I did the same thing as you, and if you want some hope that things will work out. Since my break up, my gym time took off, then I met the girl I am with now and I've never been happier.

talaniman · Oct 30, 2008, 06:44 AM

I've been reading the forum all night. Just hoping I can find a difference between mine and everyone else's...

The names may change, but the misery and pain is the same. Getting your stuff, and giving her stuff back, is the only contact you need. Box it up, and take it to her, after you call and let her know what your going to do. Heal, and enjoy your freedom to be happy, eventually.

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 30, 2008, 04:53 PM

Just another of lifes sorrows but it will make you a better person in the long run.

Just remember, girls want things they can't have the longer you stay away the better the chances of her coming back. If your always there pestering and being second you will ALWAYS be just her back burner play toy and you don't want that right?

So go NC 100%! If she comes back, she comes back if not your one step closer to being free of your emotional baggage. A Win-Win situation is could be that easy for you.

WakkieRob · Oct 30, 2008, 04:56 PM

redwee74, Me and Kelly it's the same but different you know this guy she lives with is fighting his kids and a complete loony he wants blokes and treats Kelly like he's a attention seaker and if he does not get his way he goes of the rails and does stupid things to draw you in. But the thing is Kelly has no time to let her hair down and do the things she likes, Like she did with me when we were together and the only time she gets is when he's not there which is never.
I think time is the biggest killer of relationships and like in some of the replys you guys stated that which is good advice.
Now we have a child who will go to care if her ex has his way so I've stepped in to asure lo's future after all he's my son.

They've lived together a few years before me in this weird friend boyfriend relationship which all started because Kelly (my ex) used to go round his house from her Mum's to make new friends and then she was smack bang right in the middle of Ali's (Her bf) relationship with his wife. Who he left with 3 kids, who in the end went to care.(Andrew who is now Ali used to frighten his kids with going to care if they wouldn't behave and thing's of that nature which scared his kids to death now they don't want to know there Father and are safe from him) I honestly hope Kelly with her learning difficulties can get away from him. If I have to I will do my damnedest to make sure that happens. Sorry about the rant but I had to explain it a bit more to you.

Dean478 · Oct 30, 2008, 05:38 PM

Turns out her best friend had no idea about all this... she's disgusted with her and thinks none of this is really her.

Turns out this guy also has a child... yet she has no idea why he broke up, why he's a single-father with a child.

But at least we've confirmed his a sleeze. When her best friend called up the hospital to talk to her, she put this new person on the phone to her best friend. Everything he said indicated a sly guy.

I'm trying to take in everything here, come to terms with it etc, but I'm really struggling. I'm seeing a shrink tomorrow because I've stressed myself to the point where I can't eat without feeling sick. I know it's not healthy but I can't find the inner strength by myself.

Someone said there is nothing wrong with seeing a shrink so we'll see how it goes.

High Max · Oct 30, 2008, 05:54 PM

Dean, sounds like this one has a bad boy complex and likes the jerkoff type. You must cut off all contact immediately. After reading a lot of other questions here, you will notice a pattern in how breakups happen, and some of the reasons. These posts also provide valuable lessons and hidden tips on what NOT to do to prevent these kinds of things from happening..

talaniman · Oct 30, 2008, 06:38 PM

Your letting this drama get the best of you.

Molecular · Oct 30, 2008, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by Dean478

When I told her it's him or me out of your life forever, she got angry. Said that wasn't a fair choice.

Wait... WHAT?
JESUS CHRIST WHAT?

That's got to be the most agitating thing I've read on these forums, ever!
I would hold barely no respect for any person who could say such a thing after doing what your ex did to you, jesus.

Either way, as so many others have already told you, you need to move on. And you need this woman out of your life. It's understandable that you're hurting. Believe me, almost everyone here has been where you are, me included. I remember how even though I was really hurt I kept forgetting about the bad things and instead just thinking I could live with absolutely anything so long as I got her back.

In retroprospect however, these things can never be forgiven. What's your best bet here? That she realizes she's wronged you, comes back to you and you spend the rest of your lives together? I know that if I were you, I'd never fully trust her again. And no matter how you twist and turn things around, the best thing for you right now is to stop being there for her. She treated you like crap and she doesn't deserve you in her life, and you don't deserve mentally breaking yourself down over constantly being there for her. It will only hurt you.

High Max · Oct 30, 2008, 07:19 PM

If that were me and I got used or cheated on and told her "It's him or me" and she said that it "wasnt fair" I'd tell her she can go straight to hell and walk away without ever turning back. Why are people like this? I don't get it.

Dean478 · Oct 30, 2008, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by High Max

If that were me and I got used or cheated on and told her "It's him or me" and she said that it "wasnt fair" I'd tell her she can go straight to hell and walk away without ever turning back. Why are people like this? I don't get it.

I felt like it, but considering she's in hospital (had some rough times with them lately) hse just breaks down into a mess and starts stressing.

She still had photos of us up in her room, even though this new interest is staying at her place for the next day or two while visiting her in hospital (I'm hoping no-one touched her room and the photos are still there but I have my doubts).

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 31, 2008, 12:42 AM

Let the matter rest for awhile. Give everyone (including yourself) some time to let things settle down a bit.

WakkieRob · Oct 31, 2008, 02:13 AM

Dean478,The trouble is if she has a kid with this guy, what you going to do then Big Man. Or is this bothering you anyway because if that happens your end up like me and never have a proper relationship. God be with you and hope it works out in your favour. Ask God to help you turn things around and never give up hope OK!

Dean478 · Oct 31, 2008, 02:51 AM

Originally Posted by WakkieRob

Dean478,The trouble is if she has a kid with this guy, what you gonna do then Big Man. Or is this bothering you anyway because if that happens your end up like me and never have a proper relationship. God be with you and hope it works out in your favour. Ask God to help you turn things around and never give up hope ok!

Nah I mean this kid is his from a past relationship.

She always spoke about kids and of course I said one day (I'm 22 and not quite in my career yet, that's just common sense).

And she wants to get involved with someone with a little girl? He did break up with an ex so that's an awkwards thing I don't think she's quite considered:

-Step Mom because he has an ex
-The child is NOT hers
-Can a 21 year old moving interstate to live with someone she's been with in person for a week actually worth the risk?

This is why I stress that she's just not HEr right now. Everything is out of character and so rushed and unplanned and unfocused... a bit like me... but at least I'm sticking to what I know. :S

WakkieRob · Oct 31, 2008, 03:17 AM

Dean478,My relationship with my girlfriend was rushed and Kelly got pregnant and I didn't know until nearly the birth. As much as I wished I never met the girl I wanted it to work out. With so many laws changing about relationships and who has rights it all go so stupid no one really has any freedom anymore do they.

talaniman · Oct 31, 2008, 05:13 AM

You were dumped, everything involving her is none of your business any more. Time to get your stuff and move on with your own life.

Your still to fresh, but it will settle down to a better routine.

Dean478 · Oct 31, 2008, 05:15 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You were dumped, everything involving her is none of your business any more. Time to get your stuff and move on with your own life.

Your still to fresh, but it will settle down to a better routine.

When she sets herself up before dumping me, goes behind my back etc then tries to keep in contact with me, it seems like my business. Especially when she is lying to those around her including family and my own family when she contacts them.

High Max · Oct 31, 2008, 05:22 AM

Maybe, but what are you going to do about it? What she did really makes me feel like she is a piece of crap. Sugar daddy found himself a young girl to sucker in with a good job in exchange for some good sex.

If it were me I'd give her a good piece of my mind to attempt to make her feel like the horrible person she is, how vain, how selfish, whatever, and then end this. Don't appologize either.

Romefalls19 · Oct 31, 2008, 05:39 AM

No it's not your business at all. It's over, it's dead! Move on, pick your b@lls back up off the floor. You are so quick to judge everyone, you judge him for having a child, you say she is incapable of seeing that she is going to be a step mom. You are looking for reasons for her to come crawling back to you, it's not going to happen. She wants a man in a relationship, you my friend, are not acting like a man. You are acting like a little kid who didn't get his toy.