[xpink_suziex]

well here it goes...
I was in a realtionship for 5yrs, from when i was 17-22. we didnt start out too well but things got really good and lasted for years.
i was happy, he made me laff,loved me, cared abt me and did all the things that made u go (aww) inside..
After 3 1/2 years i started avin doubts. we never went out together anymore but if i went out wiv friends he fell out wiv me.. i wanted holidays he didnt, i wanted to move in together (we lived wiv his mum for 3yrs) but he wasnt sure..
i started a really good job and 3mths later i was re-thinking eveything. i felt i was wasting my life being stuck in the house all the time. i told him this and he sed it would change, it never did..
after tears and nights of tossing and turning, i eventually told him i didnt want this anymore..
he was distraught and so was i..
nearly a year on and i am feeling like iv made a big mistake, ive had a boyfriend since and he a girlfriend but i always think of my ex and how i used to feel wiv him. i dnt understand why or if i have made a mistake, i feel very confused and i dnt know what to do, help..!!

[TrueFaith]

Sounds to me like your lives were moving at very different speeds.

I never say go back in life always go forward.

I mean you left for a reason.. what's the say that reason still won't be there.

[chuff]

I think you are comparing your new boyfriend to your ex. In that regard he can't compare because he's only got a limited time to compete against 5 years. Your doing something new and it's natural to compare it to what's familiar to you, and what is familiar is your ex. At this point you've made the decision and you have to live with it, and move forward accordingly.

[xpink_suziex]

OK I get what your saying and I probably am comparing but I can't help but feel that I may have done something on a whim and thought it was too late at the time to go back...
Can you ever go back?
Shld I keep in contact or is this a bad idea, we had 5yrs together and we shared a lot..

Thanks for the advice

[chuff]

While first of all, I have to say this is incredibly unfair to your boyfriend. You need to break it off with him and be honest because he didn't really ask for this situation.

Second, you said the ex had a girlfriend so you have to not interfere with that and hope that it ends.

Then and only then, you can ask him for another opportunity and date again.

But having said all that, you debated for a year and half and you finally decided to end it. What do you think would be different this time?

[Romefalls19]

I agree with Chuff, you are comparing. That's like comparing a 5 year Veteran vs a Rookie. Be honest and upfront with your boyfriend about your feelings and see what he has to say

[talaniman]

You aren't the first person to regret leaving a relationship, and have a hard time moving on. After 5 years, it takes a lot longer than a few months to heal.

You will be filled with thought of the good times you shared, but remenber the reasons you left, as well as why you stayed.

Jumping into another relationship, before your ready sucks, and is never fair to either partners, but expressing those feeling honestly to the new guy, will at least clear the air, and give you both a chance to deal with this, and that's fair.

Many think just by getting someone else, the old feelings, and that's not true, as you will always have them, the key is how you cope with them.

Don't expect another human to just make it all better, that's for you to do, as you must be responsible for your own happiness, going back is seldom the solution, so always look ahead, and be willing to love yourself enough to know what makes you happy, and then do it.

Leave the ex alone, and build a life that you enjoy, and get beyond the past, and continue to move forward.

It gets better, trust me so get busy.

[JBeaucaire]

I agree with Chuff and Talaniman.

Oh yeah... and I'm blind now. (pink text... ouch ouch ouch)