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kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 05:37 PM

How can you go through so much with someone and love them so much and then just all the sudden act like you don't care? I know he loves me , I know he cares, but why don't he show it?

TrueFaith · Oct 29, 2008, 05:43 PM

You are answering all your own questions.

How can you love someone so much and have them not show it back

I know he cares but why doesn't he show it.

Lets not drift from the subject here.

You can spout the I love him and I think he loves me till the cows come home. That does nothing for you at this point

Sadly you are in this position now. Where you have to make a choice.

Let him cool off get him back kick you friend out

If you do this. You will let him know that its so easy for him to get his own way with you.. it will cause problems for the futuer

I never told you to leave him.. I told you to stand up for yourself. I do not think his actions are correct... I think he acted like a child.

And I do care.. OK.. or I would not be doing this.

kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 05:47 PM

I know I am answering all my own questions I have nobody to talk to I don't know what to do I just want to hear other peoples perspectives on this so I can think about it.

kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 05:48 PM

Do you think if I stop calling or talking to him he will think about it and call me?

TrueFaith · Oct 29, 2008, 05:50 PM

Why is she living with you in the first place? And if she is starting all this

You sit HER down and talk with her about it

Tell her you don't want anymore drama because its putting a rifft between me and my boyfriend.. if you are my best friend like you claim to be.. then you will do this for me.

Then tell your boy that you have given her 1 more chance you can't just kick her out if something happens again
She is GONE!
Simple as that.

And then when he comes back
Tell him to grow up as well and if he has an issue talk to you about it first.

Because I'm sure if you was in the same place you would not have acted the way he did

All the best

TrueFaith · Oct 29, 2008, 05:52 PM

I do think you should stop calling him and all that

Don't give him the pleasuer of knowing your in pain
He is doing this to punish you

He is given you a TIME OUT

So yeah you sent him a letter leave it at that
If he wants to call you back he will.

Come out on top

kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:10 PM

Thanks a lot. Its really hard and I am trying my best not to call. All I can do now is wait and cry and if he don't call then I guess I get the messege. I just talked to my best friend and I told her everything , she says she understands and she isn't angry with me but she just needs to stay with me till she finds a place to stay and I said that was fine. If Jamie don't want to come back until she is gone then I guess that is fine to. Maybe it will help our relationship if we took some time apart. The hardest thing is that we also work together, and what if he ends up not calling me and I see him at work? How can I handle this?

TrueFaith · Oct 29, 2008, 06:37 PM

Treat him how he treats you.

Ignore him if he ignores you at work.
It will throw him off that's for sure

Because you sound like the typ of person always being the first to come and say sorry and lets talk about this.

So you acting like that will do you good.

I don't think he will leave due to this.
And if he does
Then you know he never really loved you.

Just don't be scared.. and act strong!

kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 08:02 PM

He just wrote me back saying how much he loves me and that he is sorry and all he could think about last night was us , I think I will give him another chance. See how it works out.

liz28 · Oct 29, 2008, 08:54 PM

Did you and him discuss your friend moving in before hand? Did you have a discussion with your friend before hand relating to how long she is going stay?

I been in this situation before and learned the hard way. I allowed my friend to move in with me and my boyfriend. She turned out to be lazy and cause many agreements between me and him. She didn't pay rent and never helped around the house. They say that you never truly know someone until you live with them and I learned a lot about her. Long story short I gave her a month to get her act together and to move out. Finally, after a total of 5 months living with us, she was gone.

I know you want to help your friend in need but you have to think about the other party involved too. If your boyfriend is worth it then you should pay attention to his views about the situation. Times is hard and she should be working even if she get a job at Mcdonalds. How would you feel if it was his friend instead of your? Give her a date to get her act together and see how fast she straighten up.

talaniman · Oct 29, 2008, 09:19 PM

Liz brings up some good points, as part of your problem with the b/f is about undefined boundaries of expectations, and behavior, tilted his way, therefore unequal, and now a friend with the same thing undefined boundaries, of behavior, and expectation. Both cases a perfect example of everyone serving themselves, at your expense.

Solution- Stop letting folks take advantage of your nature, and stand up for what right for you.

That goes for everyone.

kitten420 · Oct 29, 2008, 09:45 PM

Thank you guys a lot for all your information it really helped me out. Now I know what I am about to do is right and it is what I know I want. If my friend Sarah don't understand then I guess she don't understand and if she does then she does. Right now where I am I just want to look forward to my future with my boyfriend. I think this time... I will follow my heart and what I think would be best for the situation.