[kitten420]

Hey everyone. I have had a couple of rough days. My bofriend moved out last night because he says he can't take the bull anymore. He says he isn't coming back until my best friend leaves, He says she is nothing but a drama starter and she don't even have a job. Its really hard for me to decide because I love my Best friend so much she has been there for me thick through thin. Jamie my boyfriend I love him too and I am really looking forward to starting my life with him. He is my everything and I would be willing to risk it all just for him. I just don't know what to do I don't want my best friend to think I HATE HER because I don't. I just need to work on my future with my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him. I also don't want to lose my best friend. Someone help me!

[TrueFaith]

What an unfair and selfish thing to say to you!

This is the start of Controlling
Its only in his view that she is all this. And even if she was. He can't tell you.. who or who you can not be friends with!

Tell him that. No one tells me who I can and can't be friends with.
I love you
But if you loved me you would also respect me and the friends I want to have around me.

Failing that. Leave him

Ill come back if you stop seeing your friend
What is he 12??
Tell him to stop being a Drama queen and sulking till he gets his way

Pff!

[talaniman]

Talk to your best friend and let her know what the deal is, and tell her you don't know what to do.

Putting someone else between you and your b/f can lead to a lot of problems. Your relationship already has enough stress on it, you don't need this. How long has your friend been there already?

[Romefalls19]

I've always felt that no one should ever make me chose. And also I've come to believe "My friends come first, that's the bottom line"

They were there before the girl, they will be there after.

[kctiger]

I agree with Rome. Partners run off, they cheat, they die... but family/friends are there forever!

[asking]

I'd choose the girlfriend. Friends are gold. I agree this is a controlling move by your boyfriend. That kind of thing tends to get worse and eventually, you don't have any close friends or family for one reason or another and he has you all to himself (I've been there.)

That said, I have to admit that I recently told my boyfriend that he had to choose between me and a woman friend of his who was hostile to me and acted jealous of me even though she was married to someone else. She wouldn't let us have any time alone together, insisted on being with him every minute.

My boyfriend and I broke up--but for a lot of reasons, not just that. If your boyfriend is issuing ultimatums, it's probably over anyway.

[Romefalls19]

You want a prime example of how things turn out if you chose your boyfriend. Go watch an episode of "The Hills" on MTV and see how unhappy umm... Heidi(I think) is.

** I understand if my man card is challenged for knowing about that show**

[kctiger]

Your man card is indeed challenged... Please verify manhood

[Romefalls19]

I have a 25 year old fiancée who watches the show and computer in same room as TV. You try telling a girl to be quiet when she says "watch this" or "can you believe she did that" I just accept the fate and make her watch football on sundays:-)

[kctiger]

Right you are sir... there are something's in life that just are the way they are. I totally understand. Thanks to my ex I know every single episode of Sex in the City...

[ZoeMarie]

You said your friend doesn't have a job, so does your friend live with you rent free?

[HistorianChick]

I thought of the same question as Zoe...

There is more to this story than just the boyfriend saying "Choose!" What made him leave? What does he mean by "drama starter?" What does is your friend doing to find herself a job?

Friends are always friends, guys come and go, yes, but we need to know more about this...

Is your boyfriend a drama-guy, too?

[High Max]

This guy is a control freak, I read her other posts and he won't let her go out alone and gets angry about it, yet he does the same thing. He is getting worse. Put your foot down now, or his respect for you is gone.

[ZoeMarie]

Maybe he's a control freak, but I think I would get tired of a third wheel at my house with my husband who didn't contribute. I can't say if that's the case or not. I have no idea, but that's just what comes to mind when I read the post.

[TrueFaith]

I agree. Even if she was living with the girl rent free and starting all this problems

If its not his house he has no say in the matter.

Or if he hates it so much get his own house. And have her with him.. or if it is in fact his and hers house. Geez just tell you girl .

Hey Hun I know you really like having Pam around. You know my feelings towards her. But id like it for us just to be together when I come home from work.

But never say its HER or ME.

I mean in all our relationships
There have been at least 1 or 2 friends
That I could not STAND!
But lord knows I had to put up with them..

Even with my Girlfriend now. She has this one friend.. I don't even know how this person can pass for human.. but anyway I still have to deal with it

Basically the main issue here is the mentality of the boyfriend

[Fredj88]

Friends, I chose my ex over my friends she lied, cheated dumped me and left me alone.

[kctiger]

There shouldn't have to be a choice like this! We are humans... this isn't the "Old Country," where people rule our lives. We are capable enough of balancing our own lives... or so I would like to believe.

[kitten420]

What an unfair and selfish thing to say to you!

This is the start of Controling
its only in his view that she is all this. and even if she was. he can't tell you.. who or who you can not be friends with!

Tell him that. no one tells me who i can and can't be friends with.
I love you
but if you loved me you would also respect me and the friends i want to have around me.

failing that. leave him

Ill come back if you stop seeing your friend
What is he 12???
Tell him to stop being a Drama queen and sulking till he gets his way

pff!

He never told me to stop seeing her he just don't want us to live with her, because its causing us to fight all the time.

[kitten420]

What really caused our fight before he left is because he is always gone and he says its because of my best friend and he can't stand the drama. IDk I am all kinds of messed up right now. I just wrote him a long letter on myspace pouring my heart out to him and I can't call him because I don't want him to hear me cry and think that he has me wraped around his finger. But he didn't even write me back or call me yet and IDK what is going on!! I am so worried that he don't even care or love me I am trying so hard not to call him so I seem as if I am strong and I want him to call me but he hasn't yet and uhhhhhhhhhh!! It is driving me mad! I love him so much and I would risk everything for him.

[TrueFaith]

Now you defend him.

Sigh.. he is acting like a spoilt brat.

Do you think his way of handlying this was the right way? Really? Yeah I didn't think so.

When or if he does cool off make sure that's the last time something like this happens

My advice was given
Do with it as you see fit