[priya1977]

My sister was having her son with her and going through a difficult divorce when suddenly she died in a car accident. Now we want to adopt her child as her husband has not bothered to see his child or even offer child support for over 2 yrs now but he is unwilling to give us adoption rights. Can we still adopt him on terms of child abandonment? Please advice.

[MsMewiththat]

You will get a lot of advice on here. My advice would be to seek a family attorney immediately. Consult your sisters will if she had one exclusive of the one that her and her husband had. My sympathy for your loss and difficult situation.

[ScottGem]

Forget adoption for now. Instead go for guardianship. If the father has not taken his son into his home. Where is he? Is he with you?

Once you get legal guardianship, you can file against the father for child support. This will hopefully force his hand and let you adopt.

[priya1977]

Forget adoption for now. Instead go for guardianship. If the father has not taken his son into his home. Where is he? Is he with you?

Once you get legal guardianship, you can file against the father for child support. This will hopefully force his hand and let you adopt.

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. The son is with his maternal grandparents (my parents) back in India. We are here in the US and were wanting to adopt him so we could give the boy a good solid family environment and good education as he grows up. The father wants to keep the boy for few days a week and let us have him for the rest of the week. We cannot acept this resolution as the father is not at all interested in the boy in reality, it's just to harass us. My sister never made a will. I am a legal citizen in the US.

Please advice what can be done in this situation.
Thanks.

[ScottGem]

If the father wants joint custody and/or visitation he will get it. Unless you can prove this would endanger the child. This also means he can block any adoption.

So, if he offers to allow you legal guardianship in exchange for having the child a few days a week, then I would jump on it. If the situation is as you say it is, then he will probably tire of being a part-time dad and, at that point, he may agree to let you adopt.

[priya1977]

Forget adoption for now. Instead go for guardianship. If the father has not taken his son into his home. Where is he? Is he with you?

Once you get legal guardianship, you can file against the father for child support. This will hopefully force his hand and let you adopt.

What if after I file against the father for Child support, he turns the table on me and asks me to hand over his son? Would I have a say in handing over the boy? I am not ready to do so. As I stated earier the father has not shown even an iota of affection toward the boy from the past 2 and half yr till date. He does not acknowledge the boy in any way.

[ScottGem]

The time for him to ask for custody is when you apply for guardianship. If he doesn't fight you then, then his case for asking for custody when you file for support is not going to have much merit.