[flynnera]

Hey, I'm 18 and have been sexually active and have had long-term boyfriends with which to get comfortable with, but I can't achieve orgasm. I have tried alone and there is still no peak, or even intensifying. Everything feels great, but I never come. I do not feel this is a problem with my sexual partners but rather with my body. I fake it and feel terrible because I don't think it's their fault. What should I do? Is it possible for a girl to never orgasm?

[450donn]

It seems that many women think that if they cannot have an orgasm during sex there is something wrong with them. Many women it appears can freely orgasm during foreplay though or through manual stimulation. It likely means one of two things. One, a physical condition that can be ruled out with a visit to your OB-GYN, or that you have just not found the right combination for your body.

[ladymistress]

Your still very young, I was quite late coming to orgasm myself, mid 20's... it may happen, relax and give it time, the worst thing you can do is constantly think about it. You may need a combination of penetration and external vibration. Good luck

[homebirthmom]

I've found this same problem with myself, though after talking with several friends, I've found it's not uncommon. Most people are just not willing to talk about it. Give yourself time, don't stress about it, and if you really are comfortable with your boyfriend, don't lie to him, tell him that you find it very difficult to reach orgasm. And let him know it's not because of him, but your body just doesn't respond that way. Do, however let him know that you enjoy your closeness with him, and do what you can to set his mind at ease.
Toys, and foreplay are always an added pleasure, and might just be what will help you with your little problem.

[binx44]

I find that external stimulation does the trick for me. But penetration seems to never lead to an orgasm. Which is sad. Because the boyfriend doesn't seem to like or even do foreplay any more...

*wonders* what ever happened to that. I don't even get him going down on me

[kp2171]

Just piling on... one of the most powerful things I've had lovers do is to manually stim during intercourse. It might seem odd to do the first time, but seriously... there are positions in which my lover would never reach orgasm without self stimulation at the cl!toris.

The sooner you take control of your own sexuality, and understand what YOU need to get you there, the better.

Through open exploration of your own body, unashamed communication with your partner, and education, you can, most likely, find what can push you over the top.

Also... don't forget that the most important sexual organ is your mind. If you are rushed, tired, if you don't have time and real privacy to allow yourself to mentally release, if you have anxiety about sex... any or all of these compound the problem.

I could do all the "right things" that my lover craves and needs to best hit the big O... but if she's distracted, if we are rushed, if she's tired, etc... it might go absolutely nowhere...

[Choux]

I have read a lot of questions from young women here on the Board, and I feel from this anecdotal evidence that too much sexual experience very young in an American girl's life, sexual experience that is mostly pressure to have a boyfriend, pressure from boyfriends to do sexual acts on immature girls learned from porn causes more sexual problems than anything else for young girls, specially being non-orgasmic.

American boys are totally goal oriented about sex in my opinion, mechanical about sex.

I think therefore that it is going to take you and other girls a longer time to mature sexually in your mind because you have endured a kind of "abuse" in the name of love. My opinion.