[unknownuser]

I dated this guy for almost 2 years, and we lived with each other for almost a year. We broke up about 3 months ago, you can say it was a bad brake up. I am over the brake up now, but I am not fully over him ( if that makes any since )- anyway, he called me a few nights ago, wanting to talk to me in person. I go pick him up and we hang out-he doesn't talk to me about what he wanted to talk to me about, but we just talked about how our lifes were and we just caught up with each other. I asked him the next day what he wanted to tell me thinking he couldn't tell me in person for some reason, he tells me that I was not a bad girlfriend and some other things. We have hung out almost every day since then, I am not going to talk to him untile he talks to me now...
I don't know if he likes me or not anymore.
I will be fine if he just wants to be friends, and I will be fine if he likes me.
I would just like to know if he still likes me so I don't scare him off on accident.
So any advice?
I am not talking to him untile he talks to me, because one of the reasons he broke up with me was because I was to clingy, so I am trying to show him that I don't need him anymore, and that I can live with out him - and that it's still cool to hang out with him.
If that made any since
I am really confused if you can not tell.

Any advice would be great, but I would like guys views a little better.
Peace

[kctiger]

I am a guy, so here is what I think: If he is hanging out with you everyday and talking to you so casually I would assume he still has some feelings for you. Now, this could be due to something else going wrong and you being there as a "backup" or he really could have genuine feelings for you. I have no desire to hang out with my ex, especially everyday. One time a year may even be pushing it. I cannot see, unless he still has feelings for you, why he would be latching on again. Some people can be friends with their ex (not I), but in no way would an ex all of the sudden become one of your best friends only 3 months after a bad break up. I would be extremely careful if I was you, and protect yourself from getting hurt again...

[TrueFaith]

He might have just gotten out of the bath.
And now he is all cold, and is testing the water to come back in.

:) just keep on doing what you are doing. Cary on with your life if he calls cool if not cool as well.

I'm sure he still has feelings for you
But are they the right reasons he should go back with you?
Will the same problems still remain or have you both grown and changed.

Best of luck

[unknownuser]

Lol, I like that
"he must have just gotten out of the bath"
Thanks :-D
I still want more advice from others, not saying your advice sucks ( both of you ) and I am taking it.

[talaniman]

I don't recommend hanging out as friends, for just the very reasons you're here posting, your both confused, and nobody is talking, so what are you really doing??

To be friends, healing must take place, and some realistic honest communicating has to happen.

If you aren't doing that, then stop wasting each others time with assumptions, and false hope.

[pandora2]

I agree with Talaniman,

Right now he is of course delighted to have you as a friend, it feels good having someone there when times are rough,and someone who has him on a pedestal.

You will not get back anything romantic by being his friend, not will you heal, you will remain stuck.

Go get a great life that is not about him, You change your attitude and perspective about
Yourself and about him.

So - forget about this man. Fill up your dance
Card so much you don't have time to take his phone calls or have coffee with him.

Don't "dump" him - just CROWD HIM OUT.

Put him ON HOLD.

Just go focus on yourself and your own life.Build your own hapiness and you will have men falling at your feet.


Amen to talanimans Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.

[skstrob]

I am in a similar situation with my ex boyfriend. I still have feelings for him and he has feelings for me. It is just that we aren't certain if we are good together for the long haul. I would suggest this: take your time and get to know him. See if the underlying issues for why you broke up are in fact resolved or at least, see if there is a mutual willingness + action to fix underlying problems. Once these things are resolved and you can have a conversation with him about what he really wants and you as well, then see about getting back together. I would recommend taking your time and being friends first because then you can see the person in a variety of situations. You would also be able to see if his feelings are genuine or just that he recently broke up with someone and wants his ego built up again.

Good luck.
Stephanie

[amicon]

Hopefully this is sorted now-the thread is from 2008.