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cecilia29 · Oct 24, 2008, 10:02 PM

My daugther is 18 years old. She is being going our with this boy for 3 year. She is in love with him, he is nice with her, sometimes, but when hw gets mad he hit ger. She always excuse him. Also she told me that he has green car and want him to be send back to his country, but I don't know is that it's true, he lie all the time and she believe everything he say. I don't know how to help her, and afraid for her live.

xxariesxx · Oct 24, 2008, 10:09 PM

If this man is hitting your daughter, there is no excuse in the world for that. She needs to stop seeing that man; he does not deserve her, and no one deserves that treatment. If this continues I would contact the authorities.

cecilia29 · Oct 24, 2008, 10:12 PM

Thank you for your aswer but I'am already went to the police and they told me that they can't do anything because she is 18.

xxariesxx · Oct 24, 2008, 10:42 PM

Honestly I don't know much about the law, but I can believe that.

She will have to realize that it's not okay for him to hit her. If he is actually threatening her life, I am sure the police could do something in that case. I would think if she is being seriously abused they could do something. I wish personally I knew better what to say to help you; I would just keep telling her that it's not all right, and maybe friends or other family could do the same

imzz46 · Oct 25, 2008, 02:25 AM

xxariesxx is completely right! Your daughter does not deserve to be treated like that. Unfortunately my advice would have also been to go to the police... it's quite outrageous that they can't do anything about it... Is there anyone else you can talk to?.

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 25, 2008, 02:55 AM

Two words " Restraining Order".

That is if you can convince your daughter that this man is utter rubish.

vexation · Oct 25, 2008, 03:51 AM

Hello ,
You have to be real careful as to how you approach your daugther when talking about the boy friend - you do not want her to turn on you - develop a plan to get your daughter to spend more of her time improving herself suggest to her that as mother and daughter we should spend time together and go out more show her a different way
Plan for up coming little events that you can spend together
Get her thinking more about school, training and other social groups or clubs
Plan for up coming little events that you can spend together
Introduce her to a new way of looking at her life which can be surrounded by good people
Maybe present her with a problem of your own and have her help you keeping in mind that it is all about helping her this could divide her time
It is difficult and we do not know of all the details but if things are real bad then for sure extreme measures have to be taken
Is there no father or older male in the family that could talk with her or Him

Fr_Chuck · Oct 25, 2008, 05:20 AM

Since she is 18 there is nothing you can do, SHE has to do it.
Give her names and numbers of support groups in her areas.

Yes most abused women give excuses, will not call the police and believe they cause the problem and deserve it.

Not until she decides to do something will anything happen

talaniman · Oct 25, 2008, 08:53 AM

Unfortunately, you have to let her run head first into that brick wall, and do as parents must... keep the band aids ready when she realizes her head ain't as hard as that brick wall.

Things like this will turn your hair gray, while they learn, but legally, its up to her.

is there no father or older male in the family that could talk with her or Him???????????????