[Geeza]

We split up 5 months ago I’m past the point of not being able to eat or sleep, my routine is busier than it has ever been because I push myself to do things and be as active as possible because I know the busier I am the less I think about her but that doesn’t seem to be working anymore. I’ve made new friends who are great my social life is what it should be for my age (early twenties) and so on. The thing is I no longer feel satisfaction when I achieve something or when I’m doing something enjoyable with people because at the back of my mind I know something is missing and that’s her. I didn’t treat my ex properly at all.. always thought she'd be around so I took her for granted, BIG TIME. All these months have passed but I still can't let myself see another girl in that light, I feel guilty when it comes to other females because it feels as though I’m cheating on my ex if that makes any sense.. its driving me mad. I’m really trying so hard not to dwell on it because what’s done is done right? Its all in the past I know I need to carry on looking forwards but dealing with this loss is overwhelming. Ill forget about the situation for a few hours and then it'll hit me that I’ve lost her.. time freezes and my chest goes tight. I didn’t realize what she actually meant to me and now its more than too late. I’ve been thinking about forcing myself to be with someone else.. maybe a one night stand or something? What helped you to get over this?

[JBeaucaire]

There's no rule for how long a broken heart lasts. It takes as long as it takes to get over it. All that matters is that you keep the process going.

I'm glad you sound busy. Add some volunteering, find things you can to give time to the community, kids or shelters or sports leagues... something you can do solely for the benefit of others. That should bring some sorely needed joy back into your week.

Meanwhile, one-night stand is a sure-fire way to install a stranger into your life forever... sex makes babies, birth control or not... it's a risk not worth the reward.

Keep yourself and your life clean for your next relationship. It IS coming, no worry about that. It is nuts to think dating someone new is cheating on your past, so you will have to just push through those feelings. They're not helpful.

[lmnotok]

Dude, I think I was like that at some point in my life.

As for me, 1st, I accepted what happened, I also understand that the breakup was at its best where we shouldn't prolong any more. So there came the time for self-reconciliation, like, I relaxed at peace, and be ME again, think about who I desire to become and act towards it. Also, learn from the past. Sometimes when I think back, I smile a lot because if I weren't stupid, I just wouldn't fully understand and appreciate what I have in life. So take this as experience.

Hope you feel better!

Ps: I also read soooo many psychology/ self-development books to gain some faith in myself. Books are just wonderful!

[talaniman]

Be patient, and keep doing what your doing. You just need more time. How long were you in a relationship, and how old are you?

[Geeza]

How long were you in a relationship, and how old are you?

I'm 23 and we were together for 3 years and some change.. in fact it would have been our 4th year together tomorrow. Recently Ill find myself thinking about her every couple of minutes and I don’t know why. My life did not revolve around her, we had our own things going on and I hate to admit that I didn’t think about her this much when were together. My friends are eager for me to get involved with someone else and every couple of weeks (to my dismay!) I get set up with some girl but my interest is just not there. I got promoted at work 3 weeks ago and I guess this all hit me when I realised I didn’t have her around to celebrate that with. I didn’t try and make things right when we ended I didn’t even apologize for my behaviour, I just kind of shut down and I ignored her attempts at communication, now I regret not trying to talk things out or letting her know how important she is to me. She’s recently got into a relationship so ill respect it by not approaching her with anything. Her happiness is key just like my own is. I know ill be a better boyfriend to my next girl because of this but honestly what a heap of sh!t this is to go through!