[lots-of-issues]

Hi, I have been with my partner for a year and a half and we are now engaged to be maried, I love him very much and can't wait, although I find it hard to completely trust him. I have been hurt before by past boyfriend but my curent partner is wonderful to me. Sometimes he is not completely honest with me,(about minor things-which makes me worry more!) he is very flirty with females(we have had lots of arguments over this but he tells me this is his personality) should I just get over it? And try my hardest to trust him as much as I can? HELP!

[JBeaucaire]

Help us understand the basis for your possible distrust. You know you can't mistrust THIS boyfriend because of behaviors of previous boyfriends, right?

Can you give some examples of ways he's been untruthful? Can you then defend those instances from his perspective? Does it make sense to you in any way that he would be untruthful in these situations?

Everyone lies, period. They do. It's human nature to do so. I'm not defending it so much as pointing out that it's common and normal and possibly understandable if you don't automatically take it personally when it happens. Look at the circumstance and reasons behind them to truly understand.

[talaniman]

Maybe he feeds that insecurity in you, not knowing your feelings, so let him know that's how you feel, and how his actions affect you.

Expressing yourselves honestly and working together is a key to seeing whether this relationship will be healthy.

Know for your part, working on your personal issues is a must. You can't take old baggage into a relationship.