[larryregas]

I have a 3 year old boy and he is constantly getting into trouble. He likes to do what he wants and is over aggressive. I feel that the aggression can come from his older brother (7) who wrestles with him and I. My older son is very gentle and is never a problem.


My 3 year old is a good kid, but always seems to find a way to get in trouble by doing something you just asked him not too. I know he young but he never seems to learn from his mistakes. We have tried spanking and standing in the corner, going to bed early and just trying to talk to him to make him understand. He is nowhere near the nanny 911 cases but I am looking to help him make better decisions.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks,

Larry

[jakester]

Larry -

I think it's really hard to get an accurate picture of the situation based upon what you wrote.

It could be that your son is acting out not because he cannot learn from his mistakes but because there is a real issue going on in your home. He's only 3 and so his ability to reason is very limited but kids understand what's right and wrong and sometimes disciplining them is necessary but only when it's really necessary (in the case of spanking, I mean).

If you are always correcting him and being disciplinary then I think he'll continue to be angry and troublesome not because he's bad but probably because he might not feel loved. That happens when we are overly critical of children... we have to balance discipline and instruction with a lot of love.

Larry, my guess is that there are some parenting issues going on that you may not even be aware of but that might need some serious addressing. Again, I don't know the situation as it really is but it strikes me that there is something wrong.

Do you know any families that you respect and seem to have their children in balance? Maybe it would be a good idea to get some perspective from someone you know and respect. I do think that you should really do something because if you wait too long, things will get worse and it's hard to reverse the damage. But right now, I'd be asking myself what am I doing wrong and police your own parenting skills a little.

Get a copy of this book: Amazon.com: Shepherding a Child's Heart: Tedd Tripp: Books

You may or may not agree with the book but you have to be open to change... you and I are not perfect, my friend.

[seashell99]

Larry, my son (who's 14 now) was this way as a toddler. Three is awfully young to expect a lot, but he should be able to know right from wrong. I agree with jakester, there is probably more here than we know from your post. I would suggest that you contact a marriage family counselor to talk with. There are some great therapys out there that may help. I did a play therapy when he was six or seven, but it was geared towards 3-7 year olds. It did help.

Good luck & don't give up!

[chocolat_hitman]

I think your son is just being stubborn and mischievous. Try keeping him busy doing structured activities. (example: coloring time, outside play time, reading time, learning about the animals time, cuddle time/story time). He could be bored or he could be an adrenaline junkie. Lol. I was, but now I guess I still am.

[larryregas]

Thanks for the responses. I have been trying to get home earlier and spend more time with him. It has been getting a little bit better and hopefully the extra attention will be a plus. I gues my first child was so easy that I got a little bit spoiled.

[Crystal0028]

Larry, I have three children and have worked with children for over 10 years. Age three is a majore transition and testing year. First of all he is probably testing you to see what he can and can not do. The key is consistency consistency! Stay constant in the way you punish him and what you punish him for. After you punish him ALWAYS let him know that you love him and do not like getting on to him. It sounds that he can also be acting out of frustrations. Make sure he is not becoming bored and make sure that he is getting plenty of attention. Sometimes children act up in order to get attention.
Hope this helps! :)