[ctwosaat]

I have a dilema, I have been in relationships since I was 12 years old, now at 25 I find myself engaged to be married, and I am doubting it is what I really want. I fantisize about being on my own, about making my own money, doing and going as I please without anyone to answer too. But at the same time I also fantisize about children and weekend game nights, and family vacations. I am very blessed that someone out there wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but is it what I really want. I am so confused... please give me your advice.
Thank you,

[Bonnie46]

If you are confused enough about the decision of whether to marry - to post an entry on an anonymous website, then you probably have some considerable doubts about what you truly want. WHAT?? Dating since 12 years old? Holy ! I was a late bloomer and didn't date my first boyfriend until I was 18!! I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. I watched all of my girlfriends and cousins get married in their early to mid twenties. Some of them have great relationships, others, not so much. I waited until I was 32 (last year) to get married, and it was the best decision of my life. If you are unsure, WALK AWAY NOW. If you choose to marry and then you change your mind, it will be messier with the legal process of having to go through a divorce. For those women who doubted, but then took an oath - most of them will say that they should have called it off before walking down the aisle. You really can have the best of both worlds. You can have a family and enjoy your partner - but it doesn't all have to happen at 25. Can you wait 2 or 3 years and focus on your career for a bit, in the meantime? What's his or your rush?

[talaniman]

I truly hope you take the time to find out what you want. Be sure, and there is no hurry.

[lovebug2140]

If you have doubts now, those doubts are never going to go away. I would end it.. if you meet the man of your dreams you won't have doubts. You're just too afraid to end it. That happened to me and my last boyfriend. Him and I broke up and I found a new man who I love even more unconditionally than I ever thought possible.

[chuff]

I am truly stunned that for the last 13 years you have never found yourself. In many respects you have no idea who you are because you felt the need to have somebody. But as you state, that need comes with a price, you never know what you can do for yourself and what you are capable of. I think you owe it to the guy who wants to marry you to explain this honestly, but I'd say it's better to walk away now then get married and perhaps have kids then determine you need to be on your own. This decision is going to hurt him now, but it could him and others in the future.

[Guidostern]

If you have doubts, tell your fiancé... if he truly loves you, he'll make something happen where you can postpone the wedding or whatever... but under no cercumstances should you follow through with this if in your heart you're not 100% comfortable with the choice you're making...

I can tell you that I wasn't and I ended up married, then left my wife and we divorced... save yourself the heartache and follow what you feel is right for you...

[helpstep]

I agree with everyone else. Take you time! Trust me... marriage, children, and family vacatons are no walk in the park!

[kctiger]

That is nuts to be in a relationship since you were 12, and now your 25! With the same guy?! That is just unheard of. I agree with most other people's assessment here. You should probably live life as an independent individual for awhile. If you get married now, you will never have that chance! Everything will work itself out, but don't do something you may regret for the rest of your life.