[shane4444]

My girlfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. She has somewhat of a coke problem, where she has to have it every weekend. I t got to a point where I coulnt deal with it anymore and began to get upset about it. She would put us in awkward situations and I would have to take care of her on Sunday night because she would be coming down.
One day I told her I couldn't take it anymore and that something needed to change. She told me she would cut back and not put herself in bad situations when she is doing it.
This is when she began to lie to me about her doing it. I would meet up with her at night and she would hide it from me all night, even though she knew that I knew.
I caught her doing this a few times, but when I would confront her about it she would automatically try to flip it on me and tell me I was controlling and if I didn't like it to leave.
I love this girl more than anything but I know I can't deal with that lifestyle anymore. She is 26 and still acting like a 21 year old.
I completely cut off all communication with her a week ago, and it is getting harder and harder every day not to contact her. I told her last Wednesday I can't talk to her anymore, but 2 times this weekend she texted me, once asking me to meet up with her and another letting me know she hung out with my friend on sat and did coke all night with him and her guy friends from work.
I don't want to contact her but I am worried about her. She was my best friend before we dated and I would be very upset if anything ever happened to her.
I love her, but I know I can't be with her when she is like this. But I miss our time we spent together. Instead of spending every weekend with me it seems like coke has taken my place. It makes me feel awful and worthless.
Any suggestions?
What should I do?
Should I talk to her and let her know how I feel?

[Bonnie46]

"Somewhat" of a problem? "cut back"? I'm sorry Shane4444, but she is a full-blown addict, and short of her deciding to admit herself into therapy to get clean, you can't do anything. This sucks, it's ty - it's not fair, but in order to save yourself and not be an Enabler, it would be best for you to cut her off. Don't call her, don't see her - don't let her into your place, don't give her a bed to sleep in. She is not the person you love. She is an addict who is out of control. She will lie, cheat and steal to get the chemical high. She needs professional help and only she can make that choice.

I'm so sorry. This is horrible. You need to cut her off.

[chuff]

Shane, while I have never gone out with someone on coke I've had friend that was a homeless coke addict for years. She quit cold turkey which is in theory impossible. Do you know what made her stop? She got high on coke with 3 other people one night and the other 3 died right in front of her. It took death to make her realize where her life was headed if she kept going in that direction.

That's rock bottom. That's where you have to be stop. Your girlfriend is not there, and I'm sad to tell you from what you write, she's headed there. She's lying, She's wasting her free time with the drugs, and she loves it more then anything... including you. You love her, but she loves the high. It's not an equal trade off.

When your in relationships, be it business, friendship, or in your case romantic the other person will either bring you up or bring you down, and she is going to bring you down. You can't bring her up because she doesn't want to leave where she's at. Until she does, your not going to be living the life YOU deserve. I'm sorry to have to say to you, I can tell you love the girl, but for the most important person in the relationship, that being yourself, you have to leave her. It sucks for you now, but at the same time you have to move forward in a positive manner for your life, and if she can't see can not add to that then you have to remove her from your life.