[EmeraldStardust]

Hello Everybody!
I am new here and look forward be an active part of AMHD beause I love reading the the great advices here,
I need some advice and insight,so it will be great if anyone would help
I met this guy in another forum site similar to this one. He and I have been corresponding for a while,almost two months because I e-mailed him a question and then we immediately became fast friends.
In fact we started talking on the phone,making possible plans to meet,he lives in the midwest, I live in Florida
He just got out of a relationship, and so did I so we leaned on each other for support
I decided to send him my pics,in fact I suggested it. This is something I usually don't do
Anyway,most of the time it takesme forever to get my pics online even if its for a dating website.
Fast forward,he was very excited at the thought of receiving them,he ket SMS-ing me
And I have told thim before him that my race that I was west indian,caribean which I more identity myself with. My aunt said I should have said African American
He is white,so I told him that's what I was
He said he didn't care,it doesn't matter. I am well aware that race is a touchy subject but he seemd like a real cool guy and a good friend that I have been turning to for support
Fast forward, he's gottenmy picture,which I sent him in a card,
He only commented that he liked the card
So I had to get it out of him about my pictures, I only sent him the best I can find
And I am considered a very attractive woman.
He said they were nice pictures and eventually thanked me but I feel as though I had to get it out of him,because he only commented first on my card,then I didn't hear anything.
This was my email,so anything couldve happened
So we later on talked and everything seemed OK,he told me what pics he liked and we stillatalked about plans to meet, I live near Ft. lauderdale and he was happy to visit
I don't know what went wrong, whether he was tired,he claims he works two jobs which he gets up very early and also that his dad is terminally ill and he has been taking care of him as well. But that never stopped him from keeping in touch with me
Last time I spoke to him, I SMS him that he seemed a bit irritated ( cranky was the best word,which he really was)when we talked hope tomorrow is a better day,that's all.
So next day I haven't heard anything from him,I said its OK, because he had a relative visiting him and he SMS's me and said that his relative has left and he will talk to me tomorrow.
Next day I sent him another SMS and wished him good morning and hoep he has a nice day
I did not hear anything at all and this was yesterday, he would usually respond by then
Even if he was busy. I am wondring why did he not respond at all,
If I was pushy about my pictures,I'm sorry but that's no reason to wrtie someone off,or is it because of race that he's afraid of dating interracially? Hope I'm not jumping into conclusion,he said he did like my pics after I asked him,I just thought it has to do with race I don't know.
Anyone's advice or opinions? If I left something out or I know o he can't be that busy not to respond at all, and if its something that tricial thathe can just write me off maybe I am better off,but it still sucks.
Thanks

[ylaira]

2 things: but not the race.

Maybe he's a little disappointed that "you dont look like Halle Berry" or He's just problematic as of the moment. Its just 2 months, online RELAX... allow him breathe and make up his thoughts wll .

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, it is obvoius he sounded like he knew your race, he may have been expecting as noted a model or some movie star photo. Next he was just getting out of a relationship, and he may still have second thoughts there, he may also be talking to several other ladies and found another one
Or even worst he may really still be married, a lot of lies out there.

[wikedjuggalo]

Hold on different point of view.
Maybe he liked the card because of the thought, I mean how many of us truly receive physical Snail Mail anymore? To be honest maybe sending the pic's was a bit too fast, as he was just getting out of a relationship about the same time as you. As you will read around here you can clearly see people need time to heal and he maybe spooked at the speed of this relationship forming?

[EmeraldStardust]

Hello! Thanks for your reply

First of all I have a love/hate relationship with halle berry, I will always watch any movies she starts in but also she gives black women a bad name because if everyone expects blackwomen to look like her,especially when she is bi-racial then thatswhy we are al in trouble. Also, we were planning on meeting each other, so if he sent his pics first
I wonder why shouldn't I,even though his was online,
I just didn't know what was the deal since I thought he should know what I look like since
I would be meeting him personally,in fact I had an old online pic I did send him beforehand which was professionally done, I had a makeup artist,the works, but that was for a singing gig I wanted to promote so had to look really good in that one
But I decide to send him some recent ones,its not like I am Shanenenay or some but ugly woman,lol.
He mentioned some of his favorite pics that I sent him on that mail
I wasn't trying to speed things up, he was,in a way wanting to talk to me everyday'i am a grad student by the way I have to concentrate on my studies
Hope that clarifies things

[Homegirl 50]

I think your telling him you were west Indian caribbean did not connect with him. He was probably thinking exotic but not Black.
I think race may very well be his problem.
I'm black and I have seen this happen too many times.

Let him make a next move if there is to be one, then you'll know. If you don't hear from him again you've saved yourself some grief.

[EmeraldStardust]

Hey Home Girl and everyone

You're right, he may not have made the connection but guess what
I got a message from him this evening,he sys he was very busy and he will call me tomorrow
You don't know how better I feel.
But then I noticed how I reacted to what I perceived as his rejection-
Mainly because I too was just recently badly hurt too by another guy
So I thought this was a repeat.
Maybe this is my cue as to take this slow like one of the posters said

[Homegirl 50]

Yeah, take it slow. You said you are a grad student, don't let some guy you barely know get you twisted. It is not that serious.
Just be careful. How old is this guy?

[talaniman]

Maybe this is my cue as to take this slow like one of the posters said

As I was reading this I couldn't help but notice, how fast you were moving, and the high expectations you had, and the way you assumed so quickly his motives, without any real basis for your feelings.

That's why you go slow, and be realistic, as you really have no clue what this stranger is like. Just what you think, and want him to be like.

Give your electronic pen pal a break, and stop seeing romance, that leads to flights of fancy, and just be a down to earth person, and relate for a while.

That's how you get to know someone.

[aquestions]

I met my girlfriend online 4 months ago and have never been happier, try datehookup.com that's the one I used. This is no joke, its one of the big one's and its completely free.

She almost quit talking to me entirely when I asked her to hang out the first time, but then I gave her some space and then she gave me a chance. If you have the looks, and personality, then he will want to meet you.

AQuestions - Index

[aquestions]

Relationship | AQuestions

[EmeraldStardust]

Aquestions do you have something to contribute? What's this?

[EmeraldStardust]

Sorry about that Aquestions I didn't know you replied to my post
Thanks for the suggestions
Hey Talinaman and Homegirl you are right,thanks for your replies, I do need to go slow,that's how I got my heart broken the last time