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    SSANCHEZ7's Avatar
    SSANCHEZ7 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 21, 2008, 10:37 AM
    Who do I chose-my husband or the other guy?
    I have been married for almost six years . My husband and me have 2 children together ages 2 and 4. We separated earlier this year for about 7 months. We got back together in July. During the time we were apart. I met this guy who at the time was separated and is now divorced from his exwife. The problem is he still wants to talk to me and I get emotionally involved with him. My marriage has been rocky for the last 2 years or so. It was really good the 1st year or two though. I told my husband that I want things to be like that again. He just didn't seem to have a desire for me anymore and I questioned all the time if he was cheating. I love my husband I just want him to be more romantic like he used to be. I like the other guy but Im not sure if I could ever love him. My husband and me had a long talk 2 days ago and I told him to get it together or leave. He had been ignoring me a lot lately. So finally last night he decided to pay attention to me when he got to the bed after not even talking to me all day long!literally! I told him to stop and leave me alone. He did but I think I hurt him -he seemed really sad that I rejected him like that. I'm not sure if I need to accept his attempt to please me or if I should move on without him and give the other guy a chance.
    wikedjuggalo's Avatar
    wikedjuggalo Posts: 406, Reputation: 43
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    #2

    Oct 21, 2008, 10:57 AM

    The person you should be talking to is your husband about why he has become distant to you? Is work stressful what kind of factors play about in this. I think you should give your husband a chance for the shake of your children, growing up in a broken home can have more of an affect on them then you can ever realize down the road. And you probably did hurt him but nothing a conversation can't mend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 21, 2008, 11:04 AM

    Leave the boyfriend alone, and settle the business with your husband, either work together, or leave each other alone.

    You must take care of this business, before you even think of doing anything else, no matter how long it takes.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #4

    Oct 21, 2008, 12:20 PM

    Close one door... Before opning another.

    Work with your husband and your relationship.
    You have invested 6 years into it
    And you have 2 kids

    Work at it and I wish you all the best.

    If he is still the same. Then leave him

    But talk to him. Tell him you want this to work out but you can't be the only one making the effort here.. it needs to be a team thing

    Best of luck

    Regards
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #5

    Oct 21, 2008, 02:00 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by ssanchez7
    Who do I chose - my husband or the other guy?
    Your husband. Always.

    Having problems is not a license to forget your lifelong promises and commitments to one another. Even during a separation, you're a married woman working on a lifelong relationship.

    Getting involved with someone was just you making another mistake on top of the ones you two had already made. Undo this one. Get your husband's assistance if necessary. Tell him you're being stalked by some guy you showed a little more attention to than you should have.

    Marriage is a promise to work it out. It IS, so once you calm down from whatever things have angered you, you go back to working it out. Every time.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #6

    Oct 21, 2008, 04:31 PM

    I believe when you married your husband you said through good times and bad. These are those bad times, so no matter if he's right or wrong, he's earned your choice.

    I get the feeling something's missing from your OP. He seems to want to at least try, but not go to far. I get the feeling he's afraid to give too much because you might leave again.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Oct 21, 2008, 04:34 PM

    Marriage is suppose to be something we respect and honor, You should not have gotten back if you were not going to cut ties with boyfriend.

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