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breathless1 · Oct 17, 2008, 08:48 AM

I think that men who want to keep on buying women things perpetually are trying to compensate for lacks in other areas without a doubt.

Could be that if the focus is on the generosity and kindness and making her feel really special in that way she won't be so bothered by the hidden disppointment in the other most important department.

It may be kind of a way to deflect the focus in the other 'lacking area' and to draw on other attributes displayed by the man to bring the women pleasure because she will not be otherwise satisfied.

That may be why the man persists in buying and bringing her things.

Romefalls19 · Oct 17, 2008, 09:04 AM

Or hey maybe there is no motive behind it and he is just being nice.

Why is the day that guys send flowers and not have their motives questioned over?

holeinheart21 · Oct 17, 2008, 09:40 AM

It is one thing if the man is buying gifts and paying for things, and not also contributing in other areas of the relationship (i.e. telling you they think you are beautiful, spending alone time with you, being there for you when you are down or in need... etc... ). If that is the situation, then this is something that could be brought in to question... However, if that is not the case, then why can't a guy just be a good guy, and do these special things, without there having to be something behind it? Not all men are a$$holes, and some actually want to do special things for you because they love to see that smile on your face and the excitement you exhibit when we do something special, and because we want to simply do these things because we love you. Sure we could sit there and tell you all day long, but its nice to mix it up and every once a while, show you in many different ways, rather than just saying it.

It is such an issue that people always want to have the best for themselves, showered with love and gifts, and then when they get that, they think that it must be too good to be true... instead of actually being grateful for the fact that someone wants to give them everything they want, and all they want in return is appreciation, and reciprocated love... and to see that beautiful smile and excitement.

breathless1 · Oct 17, 2008, 02:23 PM

Ok then thanks, I see, and what a wonderful answer.

So I agree.

breathless1 · Oct 18, 2008, 09:19 AM

And Im not even attracted to him.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 18, 2008, 09:46 AM

In many wasy society has taught men to buy things for women, men are taught that women expect it.

bigbird213 · Oct 18, 2008, 09:52 AM

On the flip side...

I have experiences where I was bought a lot of things, none of which I asked for and usually tried to resist, but she was persistent. I started to have the same thoughts as you are when during arguments it had been brought up as a point as in "You aren't doing enough, but look what I've done for you."...

I saw this as a deflection off faults in the relationship and her attempt to cover them with something else...

Could be wrong, just my experience.

talaniman · Oct 18, 2008, 11:10 AM

Maybe its as simple as he thinks that gifts impress you, so he is buying your love.

breathless1 · Oct 18, 2008, 02:39 PM

Its hard to think... You meet everything you need and could possibly want in a man (perhaps) and you are not at all physically attracted to him.

Why? If the full package exists is it that hard to attract it?

bigbird213 · Oct 18, 2008, 02:48 PM

What did this have to do with physical attraction?

breathless1 · Oct 20, 2008, 12:31 AM

I don't understand your question, sorry.

talaniman · Oct 20, 2008, 05:47 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...on-267853.html

This may give you some insights.

Bural21 · Oct 20, 2008, 06:20 AM

My boyfriend and I have a stable relationship, and he buys me clothes, jewelry and such all the time... he doesn't screw up in other ways, I would know it because we live in an extremely tiny school... he does it simply to be nice.