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ARLO1500 · Oct 18, 2008, 01:29 PM

I have recently begun to date an old girlfiend from High school. We have a very strong spiritual connection. I haven't seen her in about ten years and it's like we saw each other yesterday. Anyway.. Here's the situation.. She has been divorced for two years and has a 4 year old son. She has been dating this guy on and off for the past couple of years. He has his own place but for the most part he stays at her place in a separate bedroom. We have been sleeping together for the last month and I spent the weekend there when the boyfriend was out of town. She tells me all the time that she's sick of him and what's to kick him to the curb. We have been talking marriage and kids... But for some reason she won't tell him to leave. I have fallen hard for her and I can't stand all this sneaking around! How can I get this acroos to her without giving her an ultimatum?

tickle · Oct 18, 2008, 01:51 PM

Cut off all contact with her and see what happens. Don't call, don't see her. Perhaps she will show her true colours.

ttyl-miracle · Oct 19, 2008, 06:24 AM

Hmm. I see... well, coming from a girl herself:
She's probably a nice person and doesn't want to rudely dump her hubby... but, she wants to. Weird, innit? But, what you can do, is - I disagree with tickle - girls hate that so much. Sooo, you should probably just sit her down and talk to her and tell her how you feel. I'm sure she's an understanding woman if you are in love with her. So - don't say anything harsh or mean, just be cool. And wait for her reply. Just don't get your head all crazed in she says "no." she'll say yes, if she loves you much.
Sooo think about it.
I'm in love too, so this was inspiring.
Speaking of which, gots to go, I's been inspired!

tickle · Oct 19, 2008, 11:32 AM

I think this sounds like a perfect case of 'she would like her cake and eat it too'. Wouldn't the OP start to wonder, She is cheating on her present b/f right under his nose. So, as far as I am concerned, once a cheater always cheater.

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 19, 2008, 02:22 PM

Bolth have good points. I also agree with this "once a cheater always a cheater" saying because it's true a person either will or they will be set up to know that's just plain wrong.

On another note who cares about 1 month you should not be that emotionally invested in this girl yet show her some muscle and give her the damn ultimatum. If she says this is going to be serious with you and talk of marrige and kids is flying around then you better make sure she is worth your time.

Tell her he goes or you go. But be nice about it show her some control and the fact you don't need her in your life. But also let her know that you want her in your life but she needs to decide its him or you.