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duzemonkey · Aug 9, 2008, 10:21 PM

Me and my best friend have been friends for 9 years, we met in grade 3. And we have been best friends ever since. And for those 9 years we have never had a fight, not one. It wouldn't be just me and her all the time though, we hung out with our other friends at movies and other places. We would talk to each other all the time and see each other as much as possible. But about a year ago she started going out with one of our friends. I thought it would be cool cause it would be the three of us. But I feel like a 3rd wheel all the time. Im happy that she has a BF now but I always feel left out. Sometimes she would stay at her Bfs house for a week and I would never see her or talk to her. And when I'm on the phone with her she would always say can I call you later cause he's calling her and she was his house all day. I feel like a second option because when she can't hang out with him she will go to me. And when she wants to go to a movie we can't go because she's already seen all of them with her BF. I feel bad because now I wish she never had a BF so things could go back to the way they were. But I know she's happy and I don't want to be selfish and want her all to myself. I just wish she would make more time to hang out with me.

IntroducingEmy · Aug 9, 2008, 10:47 PM

You met in third grade, so the two of you are around 15 or 16? I wouldn't worry too much about this. It's sad to see friends change and grow but it's part of life. Most people seem to become distant from high school friends as they get older and make wider circle of friends. Soon you'll be dating and she'll probably be feeling what you're feeling now.

I'd recommend widening your net for now and try making some new acquaintances. You can meet some new people to hang out with until she comes around and then you'll have even more friends. Just remember you can never replace a friend and every good friend was once a stranger.

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2008, 10:59 PM

At least she still does keep up with your friendship even if it is not to what you are use to. As introducingemy said by the time of your age most girls start growing apart. Be thankful that she still cares enough.

HighandDryinnNy · Aug 9, 2008, 11:03 PM

I agree with the first answer, widen your circle of friends, there are some amazing people out there. Also, you have to consider the fact that this relationship probably isn't going to last forever. If you are her friend, you'll be there to help her pick up the pieces.

duzemonkey · Oct 18, 2008, 08:17 PM

OK, I'm confused about something. My best friend and her boyfriend have been going out for a year and a month. We are all 16. My best friend recently told me that she doesn't know what to do with her boyfriend. She told me that she has being feeling annoyed with him because he tries to be funny. And, she told me she that she thinks she would rather be friends with him, rather then dating. Also, they don't talk about important stuff, they talk about little stuff, but not important things. To me, talking is a big thing in a realationship, its not just about the kissing, cuddling and that stuff. And she knows that to. And she said its like she has to try harder to talk to him, and she's a really talkative person. Also, she borrowed his labtop, and she found porn on it. She asked him about it and he lied about it. And then later, he told her that it was his, and that he was going to make videos and sell it to his little brother and his friends.At first He said he didn't sell them. But, I think he just said that to make her feel better. A while ago she tried to talk to him and tell him how she feels, but he just said I'm sorry, I love you. To me and her, it sounds like he doesn't care as much, he's just saying sorry but there's no meaning to it. There's also more she told me, but I can't remember it. She said she has being feeling all this for over 6 months.
The part I'm confused with, she goes to his house all the time, or he goes to her house. And in the summer, she stayed at his house for almost 2 weeks. I don't understand how you can feel that way about someone, and still be with them. I don't want to tell her to break up with him, because she still really likes him. I don't know what I should tell her.
Please help me understand.:confused:

Fr_Chuck · Oct 18, 2008, 09:10 PM

You don't tell her anything, you just be her friend, her braking up or not is not your business. It is her choice,

JBeaucaire · Oct 18, 2008, 11:50 PM

Familiarity and routine are strangely comforting things. People resist change, even when they KNOW it's in their best interest. These two are used to hanging out together, so they languish in this pointless relationship.

You can try to tell them, but I doubt it will do any good. Might as well just be as good a friend to them as you can. If they ever DO ask you directly, answer honestly, but best to leave it alone if they don't ask you themselves.