Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 15, 2008, 10:30 AM
    What's should I do about my ex?
    Me and my girlfriend broke up a little over a week ago. We dated for 1.5 years Its been killing me I can sleep or concentrate etc... 2days before we broke up she had hurt her foot at cheerleading practice, I was there so I took her to the doc I cared for her and everything. The next night her parents went out of town so I stayed with her and got her whatever she need because she wasn't to mobile. The day before this happened I had lost my job and that was getting to me. So Monday came and she called me and invited me to go to a movie after her practice and said I could pick her up and go with her and some friends. Well when I went to pick her up I asked her if we could go back to my house really quick and let me fill out a application before the movie started. She got mad and called me out in front of everyone saying I don't listen and that she was trying to tell me she wanted to go to the book store before the movies with her friends when she said nothing about this to me. This made me really mad but I didn't show it. I just helped her to her friends car and left to go fill out my application and meet them at the movies well my computer was messing up so the application took longer than expected and I missed the time I was supposed to be at the movies. But she didn't get mad in fact she didn't even care it was like she didn't want to hang out with me and she had be acting like that lately. When I see her I would always try to hug her around her friends and everything but she just pushed me away and when we broke up she says that I never acted like I wanted to be around her and that I never listen to her when she was the one that did all this stuff. Now I've tried everything I can to get her to go back out with me and try to make it work but she doesn't care it seems. She has said that she wants to be friends but I can just be her friend she means too much to me I've brought her rose's but she says just give her space and she needs to be her own person should I just give her space and not text her or anything for awhile. I've told myself to do that but its so hard and I end up texting her, she text's back but no much and if I call she will answer I will just get no where. What should I do I love this girl to death I can't sleep right or eat much. My stomach hurts every mouring her family likes me. And her older brother tells me to keep talking to her and trying but that's not working. I think she still has feelings for me I don't know. She worry's me because she is hanging out with a bad crowd now and her friends always want to ride with this guy (he is a loser) he has been in like 10 wrecks and it scares me to death cause she rides with them. WHAT SHOULD I DO??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 15, 2008, 10:57 AM

    You should stop contacting her and save your dignity and self respect for someone that appreciates you. She don't.

    My advice-No Contact whatsoever, be busy getting a job, and doing things without her, and be busy and unavailable IF she contacts you.

    This will keep you from looking like an idiot, and feeling even worse, while you heal, and see her for what she is.

    Don't use love as an excuse to be punked out!!!

    Sorry guy, if it sounds harsh, but its important you act like a man, not her personal puppy.
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 15, 2008, 11:00 AM

    I know but do you think she might come around and relize this if I give her time?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 15, 2008, 11:09 AM

    Doesn't matter what she realizes. Stop thinking of her and start thinking of you and your own manhood.

    Do you deserve to be used as a dog??
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Oct 15, 2008, 12:05 PM

    How was I used as a dog?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Oct 15, 2008, 04:08 PM

    Fronting you in front of your friends??
    she got mad and called me out infront of everyone saying i dont listen and that she was trying to tell me she wanted to go to the book store before the movies with her friends when she said nothing about this to me. This made me really mad but I didn't show it. I just helped her to her friends car and left to go fill out my application and meet them at the movies well my computer was messing up so the application took longer than expected and I missed the time I was supposed to be at the movies. But she didn't get mad infact she didnt even care it was like she didnt want to hang out with me and she had be acting like that lately. when i see her i would always try to hug her around her friends and everything but she just pushed me away and when we broke up she says that i never acted like i wanted to be around her and that i never listen to her when she was the one that did all this stuff. Now I've tried everything I can to get her to go back out with me and try to make it work but she doesn't care it seems. She has said that she wants to be friends but I can just be her friend she means too much to me I've brought her rose's but she says just give her space and she needs to be her own person should I just give her space and not text her or anything for awhile. I've told myself to do that but its so hard and I end up texting her, she text's back but no much and if i call she will answer i will just get no where.
    She says she needs space, leave her alone. Move on with your life.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #7

    Oct 15, 2008, 04:27 PM

    You are dating someone in your mind who doesn't exist anymore. This girl has dated you, and you've broken up. There is no basis for believing there is any secret "method" for luring her back into your pocket. No basis at all.

    It's just wishful thinking... and wishful thinking is just self-punishment in your situation.

    Let it go, man. Yes, you both have residual feelings. It's still over. Feelings don't make a relationship, those feelings are what got you two together to make each other miserable. Those feelings have been tested and found unsupportable.

    You got to remember that and move on.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Oct 15, 2008, 04:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gymboy1590 View Post
    she didnt get mad in fact she didnt even care it was like she didnt want to hang out with me and she had be acting like that lately.
    This statement says a lot , we see it here all the time and it basically means she's been thinking about this for a while and has now made her mind up.

    Any texting , phoning etc. is just going to push her further away.

    As Tal says let her be and save your dignity.
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Oct 15, 2008, 10:38 PM

    I know but nobodys is perfect and its her senior year and she has a lot on her mind maybe she just doesn't know what she wants maybe she does care for me she just doesn't want to lead me on right now until she is sure?
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Oct 15, 2008, 10:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gymboy1590 View Post
    I know but nobodys is perfect and its her senior year and and she has alot on her mind maybe she just doesnt know what she wants maybe she does care for me she just doesnt want to lead me on right now untill she is sure?
    Maybe??

    So distance yourself and if it's meant to be down the track so be it.
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
    Full Member
     
    #11

    Oct 15, 2008, 10:49 PM

    There is a river in Egypt...
    Give her the cold shoulder. Act like you have better things to do than worry about her. The worst thing in the world is to have a clingy ex-if she really cares about you maybe you'll get back together someday. (or some year).
    Don't hold your breath though- there are plenty of fish in the sea buddy :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #12

    Oct 16, 2008, 11:19 AM

    Whatever her reasons, she is not confused about NOT being with you, so leave her alone.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Oct 16, 2008, 11:31 AM

    Drop her and move on. Stop worrying about her life and what she is doing, worry about what YOU ARE doing! Stop waiting around for her when she obviously isn't waiting around for you
    High Max's Avatar
    High Max Posts: 271, Reputation: 43
    Full Member
     
    #14

    Oct 16, 2008, 11:52 AM

    Don't buy this silly stuff. Her injury has NOTHING to do with the breakup, her almost being done with school or whatever means NOTHING about your breakup. Do not take this "I need space" BS at face value, or "finding out who I am" at face value either. There are underlying reasons that she may or may not tell you about.

    You said she is hanging with a bad crowd, this guy sounds like a bad boy. The way your girlfriend sounds and how she has treated you reminds me of a snobby girl that would just love the bad boy type who is crazy and stupid.

    Has she been talking to this guy a lot? Have there been any guy "friends" she has been talking to a lot lately?
    skittles001's Avatar
    skittles001 Posts: 40, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Oct 16, 2008, 01:58 PM

    What will be, will be. Don't mind what some people say, if you love her, show her. But you do have to accept the fact she may not come back to you. I wish you all te best.

    Keep on lovin'
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #16

    Oct 16, 2008, 09:37 PM

    Well I talked to her and she knows what the boy is doing and she isn't going to find out. She told me she needs space to think about all the stuff that's going on in her life and that she cares about me she just can't handle a boyfriend right just now and she needs to think about it. We did fight a pretty good bit but that's what all couples do and she can't handle all that right now. She just found out that her leg won't heal for like another 6 months and cheerleading was how she was planning on going to college so she is pretty scared right now. IM not going to just give up that's what everbody does these days and that's why nothing ever works. If I love her I will wait however long it takes and trust her that there are no other guys which she has said and I'm going to believe. She just needs me to be a friend right now and I accept that and ill let her think even the other girls I talk to say this will happen and if she loves me she will come back to me I'm not going to let her just fall out of my life not being anything to her would hurt even worse than not having her in my life at all. That's not the right kind of peace for me :) so I'm going to be her friend for now and let her think she knows I'm a great guy she even said it but I understand the preasure she is under and I'm just going to give her some space :)
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
    Full Member
     
    #17

    Oct 16, 2008, 09:40 PM

    Good for you!
    jedidah's Avatar
    jedidah Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #18

    Oct 17, 2008, 04:03 AM
    :mad: u seem like a great guy and you need someone who deserves to be with u.. SHE DOSEN'T.some times we have to let go in order for others to realise what they are missing.
    So let her be hold on in there with your sleepless nights and if she really like you she will get back.
    GOOD LUCK
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #19

    Oct 17, 2008, 05:50 AM

    The path your on, will only cause you misery, and pain, and a lot of disappointment, and confusion. Everything you wrote is about you feeding false hope, and putting her before yourself. That's not healthy.

    She can straighten out her own life, and doesn't need you, so straighten out yourself.

    Don't underestimate the power of healing, and save your dignity, and self respect, a lot more bruises.
    Gymboy1590's Avatar
    Gymboy1590 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #20

    Oct 17, 2008, 09:57 AM

    Well I'm willing to go through that if it means I have a chance to get her back

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

What's out there? [ 15 Answers ]

Just out of curiosity what do you think is beyond our vision in outer space?

Getting a divore what's mine and what's not? [ 3 Answers ]

Been married for five yrs two kids one is 4yrs and the other is 1 ,got a house 1 week before we got married and I never got my name on put on the deed.but have been helping with the mortgage the whole time,she makes a lot more money than I do and I also caught her in an affair with her ex...

What's going on [ 1 Answers ]

Right where do I start... I have a 15month old daughter and since having her my periods stopped and was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid I am now on levothyroxine 50mg a day, its been a yr since I had a period so I have now been referred to a fertility clinic in my area but won't be...

What's his and what's mine. [ 13 Answers ]

I have been a stay at home mom for 4 1\2 years, and I just reciently started a new career. I am seriously thinking about leaving my husband. We have three kids, a house, a car, and other debts. I am not spitefull, or mean, and I'm not a babymama drama kind of person. How do you go about what is...


View more questions Search