[roman89]

During our 7 months of dating me and my girlfriend really fell in love an started talking about our future together and what not. About 2 or 3 times the last 7 months she would ask if I wanted to be in an open relationship and I said no and asked her did she an she said no too. She said she asked be cause she wanted me to be happy; I was a little confused because I never brought it up but I let it go.
I used to be uncomfortable with her going places because she's very friendly (ie. Tells other guys they're cute while I'm with her and tells me I have nothing to worry about because she loves me) Last week she went bowling with her friends and she said she ran into a lot of people she used to know. I had a feeling she meant guys but I didn't say anything. The next day she said she was going to dinner with her friends an I said it was OK. Then that evening she said it was with a friend that she ran into the day before that she hasn't seen for a long time. Then she said since we're young we should be in a open relationship an that she wanted to be able to kiss other people. I disagreed and then she said it wasn't like she was going to be having sex with them and I still dissagreed. When we got off the phone I didn't tell her I loved her and later on that night she text me and wrote she noticed I didn't say I love her and that she loved me. The next day we were talking about it again and she said this time if she couldn't kiss them then she would have sex with them and that I had a choice between those 2. I told he I don't think we should be together and that we need a break. It was very hard for me to say that but I was thinking that she would get her act together and everything would be fine.
Now on Facebook I see her taking picures with the guy she went out with and I'm wondering how she can go from telling me how much she loves me one day and now with him. I owe her some money so she calls once a day to ask for it. Some people say she doesn't really want the money she just wants to hear my voice. I asked her is she moving on and she said I broke up with her so she might. I still love her and thought me telling her we need a break would make her miss me and come back but it doesn't seem like she is. Her cousin tells me I treated her the best out of all the boyfriends my ex has been with and that she doesn't understand why she's acting like this. What should I do since I still love her?

[SimpleguyJoe]

Well I'm no expert on relationships but there are some deffinant and rather huge Red Flags in what you have told me. You really have to ask yourself if your OK with a girl that is either incredibly sexually open or she does not really have a plan to stay with you and is possibly using you. Also seems like their could be a entire web of lies in there.

You can tell she has intrests in other men because she is asking if she can kiss them and it seems like she is more than lying when she says she would not sleep with them. That's a huge red flag in my book. Frankly if a girl asked me if she could kiss other guys in a serious relationship there is a chance I would dumb her on the spot but it really comes down to what you want out of this relationship. If your looking for someone to be serious with and maybe go into the future with she does not seem like a very good canidate.

[SimpleguyJoe]

If I were you I would pay this girl back and never look back.

[High Max]

Plain and simple, she may like you a lot, but she wants to have sex with other men while keeping you on the back burner. She's showing her true manipulative colors by saying this stupid garbage about "Let me kiss them or I will have sex with them instead." I'd smirk and tell her to take a hike, that I don't play that game. Which is pretty close to what you did, which is good, you didn't let her game you.

She isn't ready for a serious commitment. There really isn't any way to fix this, some people simply have a need and desire for sex and or flings with other people all the time. It's just the way they are, there is no magic pill or fix for this problem. Also, by her sleeping around and still being with you, you are opening yourself up to a whole mess of problems. Obsessed guys, potential STDs, you name it.

Sounds like you want a monogamous style relationship. She doesn't, get out now before you get your heart broken, trust me.

[JBeaucaire]

Give her the money. It is a non-issue relationally, you owe it to her, pay her and do it quickly.

Then stop this. You know you aren't interested in any of this. You want her to be different than she is. Well, she's not. You know that's not what you would CHOOSE, right?

Well, you ARE choosing. Since you wouldn't CHOOSE a girlfriend who's dating others, you AREN'T going to choose that. Right?

Right!

Moving on is a foregone conclusion. How long before you stop fretting the reality of this and just accept it. Moving on is a foregone conclusion.

[TAJPHIL1617]

If that's what she wants to do then make her own u to what she wants. U may not have been perfect but u were willing to try and that part of ur heart she has not obviously from day one even considered. She wants everything around her to change but she feels she doesn't have to. According to her she's perfectly fine. If it were to continue then it wood only get to constant arguing and her looking at u like y you don't understand her n what she wants n y u won't get with the program. Her program. If u were to tell her ur program you wood be tossed to the side like u rnt even a human being with feelings and a heart. She wanted what u offered but she didn't want specifically you. But u wanted her and all she had to offer. I believe in god and he explains love as kind patient not boastful, comittment , not ashamed, putting his or herself before themselves, sacrificing, forgiving etc... it seems like she is being halfway those things to keep u close because she knows she can depend on u when or if the chips ever fall. If she feels her heart opening up completely she fights n separates those feelings. Let the chips fall or u can't do for her what u used to and everything will change. Actually you will see her for who she really is because she's no longer getting what she wants when she wants it. Things are more important to her than the love u want to share with her. She does not feel the same n its her fault for not bn truthful from the gate n saying just that. Had she been it wood have been much easier to keep it moving. I pray ur heart doznt become bitter because of her.

[I wish]

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