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bout2b4 · Oct 11, 2008, 10:30 PM

This is embarrassing but I don't know where else to turn for answers. In order to paint the picture... I am a 25 years old and am often referred to as very beautiful. I am the typical San Diego raised blondie. I have never had to deal with this problem before and I have to admit, I am deeply saddened by it. There is no question about love. We have been friends for 13 years and been living together in a relationship for 3 years. You have never seen two people more in love but behind closed doors, he won't touch me. This issue has been going on for roughly a year. I have brought it up before, briefly but was too humiliated to pursue it. The part that bothers me the most is that he pleasures himself all the time. I mean, like 3 times a day. I usually don't mind when a man does that once in a while, but I can't help but get fuming mad when he does that instead of have sex with me. I never let him know I am mad about it but I have asked him why he does that instead of me. He makes excuses like he's tired etc. This brings tears to my eyes just writing it. I feel like a terrible person because sometimes I think for a short second about being with another man just to feel wanted again.:(

If anyone has a word of advise it would mean more then you know.

Clough · Oct 11, 2008, 10:46 PM

Hi, bout2b4!

How has it been previously for each of you in the past when you have had sex with each other, please? Knowing about that will help those who do come along to answer you.

Thanks!

rodie151 · Oct 12, 2008, 06:18 AM

Usually when you have previously had sex and it stops it's a sign of trouble. You just have to talk to him. He might have an STD and not want to give it to you, he might have an anxiety issue, he might be secretly gay, I'm not saying it's any of these things are true but it could be anything. You have to talk, if he won't talk then your relationships not that strong anyway to be honest.

Nobody can answer this question for you really apart from him.

I have a website about relationships which may help.

Dream Life Coaching, Relationship Issues

bout2b4 · Oct 12, 2008, 10:47 AM

First off, thank you for your comments. Ok, so... less than a year ago he and I were intimate 4 or 5 times a day, sometimes more. For some reason that just stopped. Now, it kind of goes in spurts. He will be very interested for a day, he touches me, grabs me, and can't keep his hands off me throughout the day and I think... "Thank goodness, he IS interested in me" and then the next day will come and he won't even look at me and when we kiss it seems forced on his part. He tells me he loves me, I am 5 months pregnant (that has nothing to do with this prob. Because the issue was present before I got pregnant) we are very happy together but this problem is breaking me down.
As far as the comment made about a possible std... that has crossed my mind, sometimes he gets soar spots on his penis and testicals but he says it is from master bating so much, which unfortunately, I believe, could be the case. Can you literally "rub yourself raw" from playing with yourself or am I being nieve?

Choux · Oct 12, 2008, 02:05 PM

If your relationship and both your self-images are based on how good looking you are, it looks like you are in trouble here because you have a child coming soon.

Both of you have to go to couples counselling asap so you can find out all the issues and work out an accommodation that is suitable to both of you.

Good Luck going forward, :)