[babygirl1999]

Hi. I'm going to get straight to the point. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and four months. Two months into our relationship I lied to him about a phone call. I have a lot of male friends and that is all they are. So I was talking to one of them and I told him that it was a female with a cold. So I told him who it was and that nothing was going on between the two of us. So I haven't talked to that friend since that day. I had two of my male co-workers' numbers in my phone and he went off. So now every time I am on the phone he thinks I am talking to a guy. I have said that I was sorry for the lie I told when we first started dating. But now I keep paying for it. I love him but I am so tired of having to defend myself every time my phone rings. What do I need to do? Someone help me please.

[AskJenny]

Well for pete's sake you can't have male friends? You should have just told him it's Joe or whoever... take the call in front of him so he see's it's nothing; talk about Joe (made up name) tell him who is he, issues he's got, etc... he's a friend right? Just like you'd talk about a girlfriend with him.
I think the reason you told the lie was because it scared you that another guy was calling and even if he was a friend you weren't ready to explain that or you wanted to somewhat make him jealous that another guy was calling and your body language told him it was a guy? It doesn't take much body language when you know someone you can read them from the smallest thing they might do... tap their fingers, roll their eyes, a smirk... so be honest, tell him you're sorry; it was an immature thing to do and it won't happen again, that you have guy friends and girl friends and talk to them both... and then do. Never let a guy make you feel that you can't have another male friend IF that's truly all this other guy is? If you've had a relationship or sex with him; that changes this whole email and then HE is right and you should not have lied to him about who called. And you should tell the other guy you're seeing someone you really care about and are taken so please stop calling me.

[babygirl1999]

I did tell him that I was sorry and it hasn't happened again. He has even met a male friend that is like a brother to me and he comes out of nowhere saying that I didn't tell him about that male friend. I try to tell him that with his friends he can not talk to them for weeks at a time but with my friends we have been friends for so long I can't just cut them off like that because they will be wondering what's wrong. My boyfriend say it is just the college I went to and learn that from being at that school. His ex-girlfriend did cheat on him but I was cheated on too by an ex. But I don't take it out on him. But his insecurity is wearing me down. I have tried to talk to him about it but he changes the subject. I don't know what to do anymore.

[talaniman]

When talking wont help actions will, so stop sitting there letting him indulge his insecurity, and putting blame on you.

You are not responsible for his bad behavior, and the sooner he understands that, and does something positive about it, the sooner you both can put all this behind.

If he doesn't want to work with you, then what are you staying for? Stand up for yourself.

[Lovelee]

Your situation is very similar to mine, my boyfriend started becoming very jealous . I spoke to him candidly about it and said that if he continues acting this way I would leave. There has been some improvement but its still a work in progress. You need to be firm with him, either shape up or ship out, and I can tell you he will continue this nonsense.

[babygirl1999]

I have told him that our relationship will be over if he keeps this up. Then he says oh you want to break up with me. That was a couple of months ago. Now he is giving me the silent treatment. But it seems like we argue about the same thing. I don't have a problem with his female friends. My male friends know him and they want to meet him. I just don't understand him at times.