[heyheather]

I have a boyfriend and we haven't been dating long.
But we talked awhile and I really like him and he's very sweet and a good boyfriend.
I just founf out he has a son and he's 3 years old.
He says he doesn't talk to his ex but about his son and sees him ever other week.
And it just bothers me because how am I suppose to deal with his son?
What do you usually do when the other one has a kid?
I'm very confussed, because I want us to work out, but he has a son now. :(

[ScottGem]

I'm confused. Why would the fact that he has a son make such a difference to you. I could understand if he wasn't fulfilling his obligations to that child, but it appears he is. So that shows good character.

So what bothers you?

[Romefalls19]

You might not be ready for that type of commitment and I would advise you not to be around the kid if you are unsure. If you are around him, please do not show affection to your boyfriend because it may make things weird for the child. Also, if you are unsure, don't allow the child to become attached to you, young kids are extremely impressionable and get attached very easily.

It's your choice to know if you can handle it or not.

[nicola89]

My partner has a son and we get on great we both found it a bit weird at first. And it did take a bit off time to get used to. My partner son was seven when we met I thought it was going to be much harder than it was. But if your boyfriend son is only 3 years old it shouldn't be that hard to get to know him. But make sure you are going to comitte yourself to your boyfriend first cause like someone has already said kids get attached very easy good luck

[Romefalls19]

Yep, my fiancée has 2 kids from another marriage and I love them like they are my own now

[nicola89]

Ask yourself if you had kids would he stick by you

[talaniman]

You said that you haven't dated long. How long have you been dating??

[JBeaucaire]

Your question makes it pretty clear you're not dating the right person. Since he's done nothing wrong and you're all "confused" by the situation, you should throw this fish back into the pond before any bad things occur.

If you can't see yourself being a mother in the next couple of years, this is a non-issue. Just calmly move on and wish him well.

[heyheather]

OK sorry took me so long to reply, but I'm only 19 and I met this guy he's great and then I found out he had a son and it didn't make a differents to me because I already had feeling for him so we still dating and its going good. Its been a month since we have been dating.
I haven't met his son yet but seen lots of pictures and I know he means a lot to him.
But right now he's so busy he hasn't seen his son in awhile but hopefully ill get to meet him soon.
But another thing is my parents wouldn't like it at all and I'm not sure how to tell them about his son. They will probably think bad aboiut him then and not want us todate.
So not sure how to go about that.
And since I'm 19 they would say I still have time to find someone else that hasn't already started a family.
And it bothers me that he's already been throw everything with his frist child with someone else.

[Fr_Chuck]

Then your parents are pre judging someone and it is wrong.

But if you have all of these worries you need to leave him and move on.

[ScottGem]

Your parents can advise, but have no say in the matter.

Obviously his having a child DOES make a difference to you. You just admitted it bothers you that he has gone through this already.

I really don't understand why it should bother you. You really need to examine your own feelings about it.