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Sammie66 · Oct 2, 2008, 11:19 AM

You guys are great. You helped me at my lowest.

I do want to have fun. I kind of feel like I want to date many people now, but it makes me feel guilty that I might not give someone a fair chance.

I keep seeing women who smile at me or look interested and it's something I've never experienced beforenow.

At the airport on the way home from my holiday I saw the cutest girl ever and she kept grinning away at me. I wish I talked to her, but I don't want to be looking around while I'm with someone.

Sammie66 · Oct 5, 2008, 11:27 AM

I still miss my ex

busterite · Oct 5, 2008, 07:23 PM

I feel for you man. I have been back home for 10 days and I have been having sleepless nights from all the dreams. Everything reminds me of what we had. I keep telling myself I need to forget about all that. Its hard though.

PhilyBoy12 · Oct 6, 2008, 12:31 PM

Man, I pretty much in the same boat as you guys :P Dated a girl for 9 months, broke up with me about 1.5 months ago. Said she was "Confused" and "Wanted to be alone" So I was like that's cool.. we'll take a little break for a while... about 2 days later I find out that she's been spending time with this other guy and chatting it up with him while we were still together ( At the time I didn't really care who she was talking to because I trusted her... learned my lesson)
After I did the whole trying to do anything to get her back phase and then Bi$&@ her out.. I found this site and pretty much used everyone's advice because I could relate to your situations. Point is --- It Works! Even though I still think about her, its much easier now then it ever was back then... So just give it time and live on one with whatever is thrown your way.. it will get better... it always does :)

Sammie66 · Oct 6, 2008, 12:53 PM

I'm much better than I was - even seeing someone else who I really like, but I can't help feeling it's not the same as much as I like her.

I need to give myself time to fall in love with my new girlfriend though. I was with my last one so that's maybe what is confusing me.

Sammie66 · Oct 10, 2008, 07:01 PM

Love is just made up. You just find someone that doesn't annoy you and stick with them

Sammie66 · Oct 13, 2008, 04:37 PM

Just heard something that freaked me out a little. My ex is buying a cottage in the country with her new guy.

This is freaky because she seems to have followed out my exact plans for us at the exact timings but with him instead of me.

She was looking for somewhere to stay and I was going to ask her to move in until my lease ran out. It runs out next month and I'm looking to buy a flat. I had planned on getting a small house/cottage with her, but that is now what she is doing with him according to my mate. I told her all these plans and she's doing them with him instead of me.

It's weird. But it doesn't hurt that much. My mate seems to think it's all a reaction because she's heard that I'm doing well and it trying to advertise the fact that she is as well.

It's like mind games you see on TV.

Sammie66 · Oct 20, 2008, 04:11 PM

I've decided just to block it out. She can do what she wants. I don't want her to get hurt, but in some ways it would serve her right. I'm nothing to her now even though she claims she wants to be friends. It's all hollow.

I'm better off just ignoring her completely. I have my new girl and I'll see what happens with her. I'm not as sure about her but we'll see.

talaniman · Oct 20, 2008, 09:52 PM

Good decision.

Sammie66 · Oct 21, 2008, 10:50 AM

I wish I could meet someone who would just blow her away. My new girlfriend isn't quite that person, but she might become that person in time I hope. If not I'll move on to someone else.

It just annoys me how she has replaced me and is carrying out 'my plans' with him.

Sammie66 · Jan 11, 2009, 06:22 AM

I'm still not over her. It still hurts and it still gets to me that my sister in law still sees her regularly.

I just feel cheated and I feel like I'm cheating on my new girlfriend because I know I'm not as crazy about her as I was with my ex.

I just feel like I've just messed up what should have been.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2009, 07:39 AM

So exactly what have you been doing the last few months?

Sammie66 · Jan 11, 2009, 11:32 AM

Been busy at work, buying an apartment and seeing my new girlfriend. Enjoying myself mostly and trying to forget about my ex which I've done mostly but it still hurts.

She's probably much happier though. She's living with him in their new love nest

talaniman · Jan 11, 2009, 11:42 AM

How do you know that? Never mind its not important. What is important is your still affected by what she does. Any news about her stirs old feelings up again, but they will pass. Stay busy and give yourself more time and be fair to the new girl. She deserves a fun partner who is not distracted by the baggage of the past. Just food for thought.

Sammie66 · Jan 11, 2009, 12:01 PM

I know, I'm trying. She is fun and definitely what I need just now. Just not sure if she's long term potential...

Yosomoton213 · Jan 11, 2009, 12:34 PM

Well dude, I wouldn't count her out this early in the game. However, I wouldn't get extremely serious with anyone until I was completely over the ex.

Think of it this way: You kind of learned a lesson to always constantly evaluate the relationship, and not just run on emotions. Humans who can control their emotions are more self-aware, and are better at "staying on top of things".

There were probably some red-flag behaviors, like her texting the guy and smiling, or the fact that she expected you to be awake and let her in at 2am everyday, even though you had a job/career, and maybe more that you missed.

Now you're experienced in picking up these signs so that you can prepare yourself to pack up and go. You know, guys can dump girls too...

talaniman · Jan 11, 2009, 03:30 PM

One of the lessons you should have learned, is not to play with the heart of another, as you know first hand how much that hurts.

Sammie66 · Feb 22, 2009, 04:13 AM

So I'm getting on fine with my new girlfriend and everything is peachy. Then on Wednesday I got an email from my ex.

It didn't say anything, it just had a link to a news story she knew I'd be interested in, but it wasn't something that would be hard to find.

What I don't get is why she suddenly emails me like that out of the blue seeing as we haven't said a word to each other since September. And even if she did think "oh he'll like that", why does she think I want to hear it from her? Why is she even thinking about me after so long.

Don't get me wrong, I'll never go back because I'm happy with my girlfriend I have now, but I just think it's a bit stupid for my ex to be emailing me now.

starbuck8 · Feb 22, 2009, 04:22 AM

Just ignore it, and don't overthink it. She's just screwing with your head. Don't let her do it! Delete the message, and go give your new girlfriend a hug and take her out to dinner or watch a movie. She's only trying to get under your skin.

Sammie66 · Feb 23, 2009, 02:02 PM

I just replied with a "yeah that's good. hope you are well" sort of reply. Not impolite, but just dismissive so nothing could come of it.

I just don't get her thinking. After nearly 6 months of not talking to each other why is she suddenly sending me a link to an article that might interest me? Bizarre.

I'm certainly not rising to it, but it still bugs me. She's an idiot.