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babycakes123 · Oct 3, 2008, 05:38 PM

Me and this boy have been hooking up for sometime now, we both are in college and we promised each other that we wouldn't hook up with anyone else but we aren't dating but I want to be he asked me to date him but then we got in a fight and now he's not sure if he wants to date me we have been doing good since our fight and have been talking ever night but I don't know what to do, I really like him but I'm not sure what to do

This is a message I sent him:
You are the most confusing person ever, somedays I'm sooo happy but on a rare occasion you make me really sad like I can't wait until you come home, I can't wait to see you and I thought you felt the same way but now I don't know anymore you seem like you don't want to see me at all, I wanted to come visit you but I don't know, you don't really seem like you want me to. Like I don't even know what to say to people when the ask about you, like what do I mean to you ? I promised you I wouldn't hurt you or hook up with anyone and you promised me as well, I just really hope you keep that promise, you don't understand how much I miss you and like you, I think that you think that I like you more than you like me but I really don't think so I'm not like in love with you if that's what you think I mean maybe one day I will be but who knows. You say I scare you but I don't know why I scare you? It really makes me sad that you think I don't know anything about you but I probably know more than you think but I didn't want to creep you out so I didn't say any of it. I just really needed to get this off my chest.

And this is what he said back:
Your message you sent me I understand. Its true I do think you like me more thant I like you, I haven't hooked up with girls and I don't plan on it and about you visiting me I don't know because it's a long drive but I don't know I'm still thinking about it

simoneaugie · Oct 3, 2008, 06:08 PM

His answer isn't confusing.

He has kept his promise to you and hasn't hooked up with anyone else.

He understands that you really like him and admits that you may like him more than he likes you.

He is concerned about the distance involved with visiting each other. And he's thinking about the feasability of a visit in the near future.

Wait for his next move. Find something to do that you enjoy, think about that, not him.

JBeaucaire · Oct 3, 2008, 07:37 PM

... and you learned that "hooking up without emotional attachments" is an illusion. You started falling for him anyway. Remember that.

ylaira · Oct 3, 2008, 08:10 PM

As Tal once said:
You hit your head on a brick with head first so don't wonder why it hurts.

sister_help · Oct 4, 2008, 05:47 AM

De only thing to do now is to wait.. dun do anything irrasional or sell yourself too cheap..

talaniman · Oct 4, 2008, 09:13 AM

I don't know what your talking about every night, but its not about what you both expect from this, nor is it bonding you enough that you can communicate, and express yourselves.

He isn't hooking up with anyone, so he is trying, but not at your pace, but shrinking the distance as much as you want takes both of you coming up with a plan, and then working on it.

To do that takes plenty of talking, and listening.

its true I do think you like me more thant I like you, I haven't hooked up with girls and I don't plan on it and about you visiting me I dont know because its a long drive but I don't know im still thinking about it

That's as clear as it gets, as if he is unwilling and you are unable, to bridge the physical gap, then you don't have a relationship, your just phone buddies, and you want more, he doesn't.

All your eggs shouldn't be in his basket, and backing of, and going much slower is my advice as you have many things to work out, and starting with defining this relationship(?), and getting on the same page.

Best figure the distance thing out, so you CAN date, before you go any further, or expect anything else but conversation.

He doesn't sound that into you for anything, but chit-chat from afar.

Revival · Oct 5, 2008, 09:24 AM

Lesson 1) F*** buddies between people who are already friends never works out well.
Lesson 2) College Long Distance relationships rarely work out. You've got 2-4 years of college if not more ahead of the two of you. Believe me, something will happen at some point with one of you getting hurt.

Moral of the story: Back of be friends, and find something closer to you that won't take such an emotional toll on you.