[helpnowayout]

I need help. I was in a physically abusive relationship and did escape once. However, do to how the courts operate, I had to face him again, which leads me to where I am today. Again back with him... he is abusive, controlling, explosive (temper) and constantly putting me down. I was suicidal before and am again. I am no longer myself and loss any independence that I had. I have no job and no money. He has me far away from my family and love ones. I know no one. Every time I try to leave him, I get hell He does not work right now and won't let me out of his sight.

[Romefalls19]

If he is still abusive you need to try and get help! I know it's hard, but if he goes to the bathroom or anything, then call the police and get your things and move out. Domestic violence should NEVER be taken lightly and your local police department will not take you call lightly either.

[helpnowayout]

Thanks for your reply. I know that sounds like the answer. But he warned me Not to call the police or else... he can hear me at all times. This is impossible. He is a light sleeper as well. He is sleeping right now but if I move a inch he will wake up. He will hurt me more and told me he would destroy me and my family in the end. He has proven to me how he can hurt me and I cannot let that happen to anyone else. Thanks anyway.

[Romefalls19]

As much as I hate to give this advice, I have too... Perhaps doing a 911 and hang up, or when he goes to the bathroom, go to a neighbors house?

Don't let him strike fear in you, I know it's hard! You feel like you have no way out and stay because of threats to your family but that's what restraining orders and police were put in for.

[helpnowayout]

Thanks again. I tried to use restraining orders before and the process was stopped. I saw him in the lobby at the court house and he grabbed me and pulled me out the waiting room. I never got any protection... no security guard etc... This did NOT work. I have zero faith. I am stuck and there is not way out.

[wildandblue]

Abuse is about control over the other person, having them too afraid to get help for themselves. Do you fix meals? Maybe a large meal or some alcohol will get him drowsy enough for you to run. You really need to to save your life. Then don't look back. Change your address, change your name, go to a female friend or member of your church you can trust, sleep at the YMCA or in your car or in the library if you have to but get out.

[wildandblue]

Also carry a can of mace or one of those loud personal sirens you can set off if he so much as comes anywhere near you. Don't worry about court, right now you don't want him to have so much as your forwarding address.

[Fr_Chuck]

Walk out of the house, or jump in the car and just leave, go to a shelter and just don't go back, just don't go, no one can force you to go back with him, period.

[Romefalls19]

I know you may have lost faith before, but perhaps a different result may occur this time. If you stay there, I fear for your life. The abuses will only get worse

[wildandblue]

Yes people who are violent never change. I hope you don't have kids too.

[ANB428]

What state do you live in? Do you have any children?

[jjwoodhull]

I know it's hard, but you have to be brave. There are people who can help you... a neighbor, a woman's shelter, a local church. Do you have a car? Evaluate your options and take a couple days to form a solid plan in your head then act on it.

[ANB428]

There are domestic violence shelters in many states. When I left my abuser I had no money and I was alone 1500 miles away from anyone that I knew. I went to a DV shelter and they protected me and my ex could not find me. I had a 2 month old child as well. I left him when we got into a huge fight and he had a knife up to my throat as I was holding my daughter. As soon as he calmed down and took the knife away from my throat he started crying and telling me he was sorry. I knew right then that I had to leave. So, we argued and one of his friends had come over the next day and I had told him what happened and him and his wife took my daughter and I and as much of her stuff and took me to the hotel they were staying at. I called my mom and she told me that she didn't tell me to move out to Cali and I had to figure it out on my own. I freaked out, from there I started calling churches from a phone at the front office of the hotel. I finally found out about a shelter and went to it. If you tell me where you live I will research the area and give you as much advice as I can to help you get away. You need to get out of that environment. I also need to know if you have a kid or not, because there seem to be more shelters to help mothers of domestic abuse. I know that there are domestic violence shelters out there that will help you and protect you.

[h0llister]

Depending on your country.. I am canadian and I know here if you want to get out, there are lots of organizations and government to help you with money and to protect you. You should look into that