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candy abi · Oct 1, 2008, 04:39 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years now:p... I love him dearly and he could be such a sweetheart, but almost 3 yrs ago he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend on two occasions. I agreed to stay with him because I really do love him and so does my family but I can't stop the feeling that it could happen again and I am very insecure I cry myself to sleep just thinking about my present situation. To make matters worst there are two chics in his life who I don't really want around he says that's his friends but I have seen text on his fone that mite suggest other wise. I really don't know how to deal with all this but I don't think leaving is an option, I have already planned my whole life with him being without him is so scary and alone, besides all of that I could never see myself wit someone else and be truly happy, anyone has any suggestions?? Please:confused:

robc68fb · Oct 1, 2008, 04:59 PM

If I were you, I'd sit down & have a serious talk w/him. Tell him what is bothering you & see how he responds. If he cares for you enough, he'll do the right thing. If not, then maybe you ought to consider other options. He's not the only great guy in the world you know. There's plenty of them out there, sometimes they take a little time to find, that's all. Would you really be truly happy if he continues to do things that upset you? Maybe I'm wrong, but if he cheated on you after being in a relationship with you for a year, chances are he could do it again if given the opportunity. Trust is a BIG thing in a serious relationship & it has to be there for it to work. If he understands your feelings, he should respect them if you mean something to him.

jrsg · Oct 1, 2008, 05:08 PM

I think you need to trust him more.

HOWEVER, I don't think he deserves your trust. If he already cheated (twice), everyone in your position would be saying, "Is he going to cheat again?"

I think you should just be straight with him. Tell him you don't trust him with these two women. Tell him that he lost your trust when he cheated before. See how he responds, and if he begins to ignore the two other women. Then, go from there. I think the only way that you can "save" a relationship is if both people know the relationship needs saving. He probably doesn't even know you feel this way. I think talking to him would be best. Communication!

Trust is a weird thing... You can't just decide you trust somebody. Sometimes, as much as you want to trust somebody, you just can't. And seeing as it is such a vital aspect of ANY relationship, it can be the downfall of a lot of relationships.

NItEMArE129 · Oct 1, 2008, 05:17 PM

It's hard to let go once someone has cheated. And you have the right to bring up your suspicions, but it's all due to how he has acted after he cheated on you the first time. Was he truly remorseful, or was it more that you just loved him too much to give him up?

candy abi · Oct 1, 2008, 05:30 PM

We have spoken about our relationship over and over but I can't let him goes at times he seem to be so loving and acts like the best boyfriend ever and I love him for that he is very caring and most understanding. When he 1st cheated he seemed truly remorseful and I loved him too much to let him go. I want things to get back the way they were he is like my best friend and I really don't want to loose him but I don't know how to let him know that the relationships I am not comfortable wit needs to go I don't want him to feel as though I don't want to allow him to have a life besides what we share but at the same time I can't stand to be hurt once more I mite die