[SuaveWazoo]

How does NC work? And how does NC allow you to heal? I always thought NC sucked and had no purpose but to force one to wallow in their pain. But now I realize that it allows you to take a breath of fresh air and to experience things outside of the emotional whirlwind of a breakup. It gives you a chance to put aside emotions you've been so pined over about and realize how much more you can be happy with in other areas of your life.

Me and my ex broke up over differences in our levels of commitment. I was a wreck during the time immediately after the breakup, and clung onto the emotional hope of wanting to reconcile with her. However, after we realized that hanging around each other after the breakup wasn't necessarily benefiting either of us, we both decided on NC. Being forced into a position of NC allowed me to put aside my concern over the relationship and experience all my other activities I have in my life. My biggest activity right now is my campus theater club. When I was still worrying over the breakup, I still had fun when I went to the club meetings but I wasn't feeling it because my mind constantly had my ex in it. After NC I realize that my friends there and my role there means so much to me. For the club, I am directing an improv troupe (with an awesome cast) and I am also part of the administrative committee of the club (working with some awesome people). This same kind of enthusiasm and "self-realization" occurred for all my other activities such as school.

I broke NC briefly to just tell my ex that things are going OK on my end, and that I am opening my eyes and freeing myself in the fashion that I just described. She brought up NC because she knew that we both needed time to figure out our priorities, and she was glad to know that we are both taking steps to not let ourselves be hurt by the breakup, but to grow from it. I broke NC, but I was not emotionally distraught from it. Rather, I felt it was a good sense of closure at this point in time.

I have not lost hope that someday me and my ex can possibly reconcile and have a more fulfilling and healthy relationship. But I am not letting that get in the way of me pursuing the things in my life that can provide me happiness and fulfillment. I am definitely not aiming for a reconciliation to be a "goal", not am I going to wait for her. I am merely aware that I shared some good times with this person, that we were unable to work out over some priorities in our current lives, and that I have so much more to live for than to regret and worry constantly over this issue. I know that I am growing and learning from this experience.

[Fredj88]

I agree about NC, I'm only on day 5 but I feel better every day. I still love her dearly and care about her so much, but I've gone from crying checking my phone every minute for a txt or a call to not really caring. It feels good to go where I want, do what I want, and with NC I don't know what she's doing. Maybe she's talking to a guy, maybe she's sad and depressed I don't know I don't care. Just 5 days ago I was wondering how can I live my life without her etc. but now eh.

Just wondering how long were you on NC?

[SuaveWazoo]

It was a week, and it was sort of strange. The first 5 days of NC sucked. Then on the 6th day everything kind of snapped and I felt a lot better. If I were to even describe it, I would say that I randomly became aware of how happy I should be. It's weird, and it was unexpected. But I would not have experienced that if it weren't for NC.

[Ash123]

How long did you date?

How old are you?

That was quick by usual standards :-)

90 days for many.

Keep up the good/ happy work...

[SuaveWazoo]

How long did you date?

How old are you?

That was quick by usual standards :-)

90 days for many.

Keep up the good/ happy work...

We dated for 6 months. I'm 19. She is 20.
I think the reason why it was so quick was because it was very properly communicated between each other why we couldn't be together. We are also on good terms, so we are not mad or angry at each other.

[Ash123]

Super.

I hope all NC's go as well. If some take longer, just be patient. Glad you got to a sane place soon!

[talaniman]

Its good to know that people can cope with their loss, adjust, and get busy with life.

Well done, and good luck.