[jeny]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. He hasn't asked me to marry him yet. We have lived together for almost two years, and since I moved in the only thing he does is his laundry and the trash. He never helps clean. Is this normal?

He did these things before moving in. How can I get him to go back to the way he was. He seems to be very lazy. Is this common also?

[breathless1]

The responsibilities may have dawned on him to the effect that he has now become complacent with the tasks. It may be taking its toll on him and having a negative effect.

After living together you may also be getting to know the real person he is.

By the way, how much do you do? If less, it could be that he expects you to do more or if you are already doing everything he may be taking advantage.

Look at that first. Are you taking up your responsibility?
Also, this may sound harsh but if you were to marry you do realise that you could never justifiably ever expect him to change - right? That does not happen.

Weigh the consequences and consider what you really want from relationships and life.

Talk to him for a soultion and if you don't find it consider your options.

All the best.

[jeny]

At first, we agreed that he would do the floors and the tub and take out the trash as well as do his own laundry. I would clean everything else. I expect to do a little more because he pays 100% of the electricity, internet and cable. I pay my half of the rent and we both work 40+ hours a week. I end up cleaning everything. He only did the floor once in two years and he never does the tub. He does take out the trash weekly and does do his laundry weekly. I always make the bed and cook, etc.

He says he always is like this in relationships. He depends upon the girl. She complains as he doesn't appreciate her and leaves. Which makes me wonder if he even loves me. He constantly says he does, but you don't do things like this to the one's you love (unless I'm too sensitive).

[Fr_Chuck]

He wants a mother, so you sit down and go back over the list of duties and chores, he does not do them because you allow him not to

[jeny]

So funny you say it that way. I ALWAYS tell him that. So if you were me, would you just stop cleaning or how would you handle it.

[jeny]

I rate this answer a 10 out of 10. EXCELLENT

[lawanwadee]

Play hardball or let him be the king until you reach the yield point.

Tell him you're sick of this, tell him what you expect him to do, and let him know if he doesn't make it, get out of your life...

[breathless1]

hello

You have said that he 'depends upon the girl'.

This could mean several things.

Some boys are not forced to do chores when they grow up. This encourages a very selfish, resentful and lazy mentality. It takes a lot of moral re education to reform them.

On the other hand, if he has a mind set of role play then he will only look for partners that identify with it because he expects it from a relationship and finds it suitable for him. What does he think is best for the woman?

COMPATIBILITY is the foundation of a relationship and although you may be attracted to specific areas vital sustaining elements are communication, respect, honor, unconditional love and sacrifice.

Do you share values? Do you listen to each other and have an understanding? Are you (both) willing to compromise for the sake of the other and not to the detriment of self?

(without incurring mood swings).

Your life partner exists and if your answer is no to most of the above than consider your options and future and be realistic.

All the best.