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Well the news good as of now. I was starting to freak out a bit because my phone died and had no way of being contacted. He is going o.k as it stands right now. Besides that my day was o.k. One of my co-workers told me how they say me ex and my reply was simply this "So?". I still have feelings for her but no were near like a few weeks ago. |
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Well tonight has been good. I have been talking to this old friend for a bit tonight. Cheered me and I have been talking on the phone with her for about 2 hours. My father is doing good. Everything seems to taking fine but still not out of the woods yet and that will be on my mind. |
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Wow what a day :D. I cannot wait for this trip. My phone has been blown up by my old friend. We just click and talking to her feels so natural. She had me looking completely retarded smiling and blushing while my ENG was going on about Assisted Suicide. I can't wait to get and see her next month. But You know I did not really think of my ex today I guess my mind was distracted. I left my backpack at work so I got to go by tomorrow and grab it before school :(. My father is doing good as of now. Which is a relief but not out of the thickets yet. |
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Sept. 3rd,
I'm completely crushed as I stated because I feel powerless and would do anything to stop this pain I feel,
But You know I did not really think of my ex today I guess my mind was distracted
Hardly recognize you anymore. Prayers to your family. |
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Kind of a rough day to start. Well I left my backpack at work last night and thus could not study for my physics quiz which I promptly failed because I could not get my backpack before said quiz. Well I had to get it since I could not go to Pre-cal with out it. Missed that class and had my friend Lindsey ride with me (the lesbian friend). After that it was a good day. We grabbed something to eat and talked and laughed a bit. The closer the day gets to my vacation the more anxious I get to leave. I can't wait to meet up with this old friend. I know she is really looking forward to it. Also my car needs some work done :). Like I stated before I like this girl as does she to me. But I do not want to rush into anything. She will be moving back here come Dec we'll see where I'm at then. But so far everything is o.k today. Beside my Physics class. |
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From my old friend. She has just completely blown me away. She just sent me that message on myspace. "What I don't understand, is why you think I won't be into you when you come up here. You have no idea, and your second thoughts, are silly. I'm really into you, I can't quit thinking about you, I go to sleep with you in my thoughts, and wake up the very same. I've never met someone so real, Ive always thought highly of you, and Ive always wanted to be your girl. Just yours. The tingles you give me, ugh to this day, are amazing. Dont be low in self eestem, because you are so sexy, oh so sexy. And I adore you literally. Nate I could see me with you forever, I could see a future, and for now I can only imagine it. I know if we gave us a shot back then, that we'd still be together this day. Happy. I dont want to sound weird, and stalkish, or rush anything, because Im not ready to throw myself at anyone. My heart to me is still torn and bruised. And it no longer waits for that one, true person. It lost its faith, and so have I. Im not happy. I dont know what happy is, nor do I really think its for me. But I want you to know, that she didnt deserve you, you are too pure, too good hearted, too clean. She didnt respect you and she took advantage. If I had you, Id feel blessed, spoiled. I would never use you, and Id always be there to help you, encourage you to be your best, and love you for everything you are. If you made a mistake, Id forgive you, and not give you hell for it. If we were to argue, Id only kiss you and hold you as close as I possibly could, because I wouldnt want to lose you, Id do my best to make you happy, and tell you everyday how much you mean too me. If you had a hard day, id rub you from your head to your toes, and listen to your day, if you ever were sore, id kiss every part of you just to make sure I got the right part. Id make you smile with the goofy I do, Im a trip. And everyday would be different, never the same, Id be there for you, no matter the issue. I could be dirt poor with you, and somehow still be thankful because I have you. Still be happy, you are sweet babe. And im crazy about you." |
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Funny I was talked to my friend and basically got on a conversation about how my ex would call again etc. And Well damn it. I just got off the phone with my ex she called me from a number I did not recognize. I knew as soon as I heard the voice. Of course my heart was racing the whole time but honestly I'm not that affected. She asked if I emailed her father which I did and I said I did. She went to say how she did not appreciate me doing that and asked me why. I explained I regretted doing so and felt I did over step the lines. She went to say something but not doing any more crazy stuff or I'll regret it etc. But I just brushed it off and said o.k goodbye. I have no plans on communicating her or any of her family and have not for a while now. Now I did not bad mouth her at all. Simply had emailed her father apologizing for something that happened before they left to Japan. I guess in the end she lied to her family about what she did. And after emailing her father, he gave her a very good earful. He family absolutely trusted me and much more. I think I will keep Guess I keep that graphing calculator now :D Talking to my friend now and feeling a little better about. But I will take that treat serious should anything happen I will pursue legal action. |
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 Originally Posted by cantbelieveit
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Good day today. Majority of my 10 hour work day consisted of Politics (no arguing as I don't argue politics), Religion (another thing I don't argue just discussed) and then Paranormal stuff like ghost. But I enjoyed. Seems my NC started over today because of that phone call last night but o well. I have realized the many wrong points in my ex and I's relationship. |
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This is kind of turning to a journal but I apologize. Maybe this will help someone someday. I had a dream again last night. I had apparently stole her car. I was driving to Fredricksburg VA for an unknown reason. I stopped for gas or something and her car is always a mess with clothes and other things. I picked a diary type thing. In it read "This is true Love. I have never felt this way before. I think he his the one. He will be my hubby <3" This was all referring to her new BF. Don't really get it but :/. |
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