[Fredj88]

After 3 years my girlfriend dumped me :(, I tried to do NC and I was so weak I kept on going back, then finally 2 days ago I slapped myslef and said I had to do it, last time I talked to her she had butterflies for another guy already. I feel so used, sad, depressed lonely. How can you love someone so much one day the next feel nothing towards them treat them like a stranger, and already have feelings for another guy a week later. It's like I'm stale, I wish I was new.:(

[Wondergirl]

Read the NC thread started by ISneezeFunny. It's 40-some pages long, but worth every word. He tells how to survive a breakup and be able to smile again. You will laugh and you will cry while you read it. It really needs to get published.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-161688.html

[jumpin0503]

Exactly the same as my situation, although it wasn't for as long as a relationship.

I'm sorry for your loss, but know that things will get better. Begin your healing process as soon as possible, I tried to stick around and convince her to come back, but she started dating the new guy and I just made things worse for myself and got no where. It was a temporary happiness I got in a way of talking to her, because the rest of the time I was miserable.

Lean on your friends, family, anyone. When you want to talk to her, go to your friends, family, do a hobby/work out/work/school work, anything you find personally fun/gets your mind off things instead. You can do it, it will be hard, but it's a process.

[bigbird213]

Like Wondergirl said,

If you go back and look at some of the older posts, you can see how people have progressed through months. It was great for me to read from start to finish some posts when I was in your situation... and now I have a thread of my own.

[talaniman]

There is a link in my signature that you must read, and then we can answer any questions you have.

[Fredj88]

And I feel so embarrassed to tell anyone I know that my love my queen dumped me, my family asks where is so and so and then I lie how we broke up. I just feel so used I did everything for her sacrifed everything for her and poof. What a great actress. Anyway my story we met 3 years ago, everything was going good, we never fought, knew each others goals were getting married in two years, always told me thAt I was the first gut who treated her and really loved her. Talked for hours each day saw each other so much. I was probablythe biggest idiot she was so jeAlous of everything so I stopped talking to All my friends who were girls yes I know it was bad. I think the thing that bothers me and hurts so much is like how easily she forgot about us like the past 3 years were nothing. Her stupid cat was sick and I paid for it's vet bill and I just ask her the other day how is the cat and she just txt me back forget about us. I never knew people could be this mean, and yet I still don't hate her or got angry. Eh at least I learnt something how can I get angry at someone Id they bump into me or cut me off when I can't get angry or hate the person who I trusted and loved the most stabbing me in the back and telling me lies.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm typing on my iPhone.

[talaniman]

Did you read the stickies? The No Contact Calender? What do you think?

[Romefalls19]

Read the stickies and start reading in the NC calender, you will realize NC is the way to go

[Fredj88]

Ya I'm on my third day of nc, it's tough not talking to someone I talked to every day for hours. But she knows my number my email etc. And not even a txt MSG asking how I am. So I will keep this nc for as long as I can.

[Romefalls19]

I know how you feel, dated my ex for 2.5 years, then after we broke up. I found this site, and Tal kicked me in my arse and made me realize how foolish I was being for trying to talk to her, which lead to 5 months of NC between the two of us and we worked together.

[Fredj88]

You thank God for this site, reading all these stories etc. Makes me feel that I'm not alone in some odd way.

[talaniman]

You may have been alone when you got here, but now your in a special group, and will never be alone again.

[Fredj88]

8 days no contact, not a txt, email nothing. I still feel so used, she was the first person I ever opened up to fully. I'll never trust again. It sucks being so alone and lonely and worse I'm shy the odds of me finding someone else is do slim. I told everyone who knew we were together that we agreed on the breakup I'm so pathtic at least I get that little thread of dignity.

Not only did she break my heart she took my appetite, left me with a humongous cell phone bill, stupid investments for the condo we were going to buy and now the economy in shambles. Two to three times a week I'd travel two hours each way just to see her even if it was for a hour gag. And yet I still don't hate her and I'm trying.

And what's worse when she moved so far away she was crying saying please don't break up with me you're my everything and me like a idiot OK and for the next two years travelled all that time everything and then now I'm nothing more that gum on the sidewalk to her.

[jumpin0503]

I feel the same way, I'm rather shy (Put it this way, I don't have the game to walk up to a random girl and make a conversation on the spot, I need to at least have some sort of lead up or something like a mutual friend, hobby, job, etc.) and my college I live at is extremely clique-based so it feels impossible to meet new people. I lost my appetite as well during all this, I've only now started to eat a little again but not even full meals yet, it will come with time sadly I don't think there is much you can do aside from calm down in order to begin getting your appetite back. I also feel anxious about meeting new people, it's hard to get yourself back out there especially when you meet your ex-girlfriend randomly like I did and it wasn't me trying to find her, but everything happens for a reason. All you can do is be happy with yourself, take up new hobbies, things of that sort. Maybe start talking to old friends again as well, could be a nice stress reliever you never know if you didn't end the friendships on bad terms.

Driving that much to see her for such little time with her, you're a much better person than you're giving yourself credit for. Not many people would ever drive that much for such a short amount of time with somebody. Focus on your positive aspects, you are a much better person than you think if you're that willing to go so out of your way for the one that you love. You just need time as you begin to heal, it's tough, I know, I'm feeling the same feelings as you except I see her like 3 times a day it seems like now as well which makes me feel extremely anxious. You will find somebody else in the future, you just need to wait until you do.

You aren't going through this alone, you need to try and stay positive despite however hard that feels right now, look at the stories of people meeting new people, some met people faster than others, but happy endings do occur, try to get yourself in that mindset. Maybe make a list of the things you didn't like in your relationship with your ex-girlfriend, instead of focusing on the negative aspects of this break up so much. That was a good tool I used to help me realize that I was more caught in the moment than literally in the "perfect relationship" which doesn't seemingly exist anywhere, period.

We both started this at essentially the same time with getting dumped for other guys, lets get through this together as well yes?

[Fredj88]

Ah your in the same shoes as me, but at lesat she's so far away the odds of me seeing her are slim.

I'm so pathetic I saw she was on msn I unblocked her for a second on some hey remember me then I blocked her back 10 seconds later.

[jumpin0503]

Yea I realized cutting her out of my life entirely helps. I've had her blocked on AIM and removed her as a friend on Facebook (even though I could still look at hers if I wanted since we're in the same school network even though we aren't friends she hasn't changed the settings for it) but I just have to use self control. At the beginning it was hard to not want to look, but now I'm getting to a point where I don't even really care anymore because I know it's going to hurt me and I have enough self control to know that the no contact is working instead of dragging myself through that over and over. If you haven't hit that point, once you deny yourself of doing it a few times you'll begin to get there.

Just keep your head up mate, everything ends eventually, it's what I'm trying to tell myself.

These forums are nice to express how you feel if friends in person or whatever else aren't around, but I'm realizing now I'm getting much better advice on these forums than from most friends, or at least in my mind it seems to be better advice. Most of my friends told me you have to follow your heart and do what's right, but at the time it was to hold on to that slim hope of maybe she'll come back. Listening to everyone here made me realize that the likely hood of her actually coming back is rather slim and after 2-3 weeks of trying, to concede and say if it's meant to work out we'll be brought back together for a reason, and to begin moving on to get your life back together faster. It's extremely appreciated to see that random people online are so willing to help each other through these difficult times.

Sorry for semi-taking over your thread as well as using my own by the way, haha

[Fredj88]

No Problem, I finally got the courage and strength to block and delete her from msn, it's the only way that I won't be tempted to even message her. 9 days No contact, I hope I can continue this for long

[jumpin0503]

Person I was responding to originally deleted their post or had it deleted, just changing this post now to signify that.