[tracy34]

OK so I have a boyfriend.. and we've been together for a year and 3 months.. and all of a sudden I randomly got feelings for his cousin.. I'm 16 by the way.. and me and his cousin have been friends and stuff for awhile.. since I first met him we were friends.. well anyway I started liking his cousin.. and I don't no if his cousin likes me but yeah.. I don't no it feels like I honestly LOVE his cousin.. I think about him constantly.. I always want to talk to him.. I just want to call to say hi.. I miss him a lot and cry cause I'm so confused over him and my boyfriend.. I swear I love him but I don't know.. cause I love my boyfriend too.. please help me.. like I don't no how to get over my boyfriends cousin or if my hearts telling me I do love him.. and how do I no if he likes me.. like we spent 5 hours on the computer talking before.. but I don't no if he does.. just please someone help me I'm going out of my mind thinking about him and being sad because of all this stuff.
thank you to anyone who helps:)

[ntbntb78]

Before you break up find out if your boyfriend (boyfriend) cousin likes you(I'm 11 that's all I can say):(

[JBeaucaire]

You're new at this dating game, so you may not realize that for the rest of your life you will have feelings for people that "appear suddenly and randomly." That's how attraction works.

You also need to know that part of growing up is learning how to ignore those random feelings of attraction for people when you're already pursuing a relationship. You HAVE to learn to do this. You need to practice it while just dating, so that by the time you get married, you will have mastered it. Solid marriages REQUIRE you to be able to ignore the love pangs for people outside your marriage.

Even after you're married, you will feel strongly attracted to others. The only one who can stop you from messing up your life at those moments is you. Being faithful to one person is hard and requires EFFORT on your part.

When you find you cannot resist, you must first release the person who you are currently dating, and you must never LIE about the reason why. Tell him you've accidentally fallen for someone else and want to date them, but since you're not a cheater, you're breaking up with him first.

And in the future, when you're in a relationship that is going well, YOU have to stop the behaviors that lead simple attraction into something more... like chatting on the computer with them for 5 hours. Bad call.

I read a quote here on the forum earlier that went something like: "Cheating doesn't start with a kiss, it starts with a lunch." Basically, you have to be smart about how much time you spend in private/communication with a single boy if you're not single yourself. In your case, it is starting with a "chat".

Your heart wants whatever it wants. If you don't lead it, it will lead you... and it doesn't care if what it wants is good or bad for you, it just wants what it wants.

Good luck on your choices.

[jrsg]

I would have to disagree with ntbntb78. You shouldn't figure that out before you break with your boyfriend.

I would say you should break up with your current boyfriend. It isn't fair to him that you "love" another guy, but pretend to love him. A break up would probably be hard on the both of you, but especially him because he won't be expecting it. But it needs to be done, and it will turn out for the best in the long run. How long can you two currently go on while you "love" his cousin?

And, I know you don't want to hear it, but dating your boyfriends cousin could be really destructive to their relationship. Your boyfriend probably won't like his cousin if you two begin to date, and it will be awkward between them. I have seen friends of mine lose friends because of girls, and I don't know what would happen in a family situation, but I don't think it can be good.

In my opinion, you have three options here (in no particular order)
1. Leave the boyfriend, begin to date the current boyfriend's cousin
2. Leave the boyfriend, forget about the cousin
3. Stay with the current boyfriend, forget about the cousin

If it is possible for you to forget about the cousin, then I think you continuing your relationship with your boyfriend would be best. If you CAN'T, then I think you should break up with the boyfriend, and forget about the cousin, or at least not date the cousin.

Leaving the boyfriend and dating the cousin will be extremely difficult and awkward, and I don't think a decent relationship could come of this situation with the cousin.

Let us know what you decide,
And good luck.