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civic8 · Sep 22, 2008, 06:45 PM

I really like this girl; I've known her since High School, but recently Ive been hanging out with her for like 3 months now. She really likes me as a boyfriend and I really like her as a boyfriend we talk a lot and she talks to me more than her boyfriend. Her boyfriend treats her like and then says one thing and does another. For Example: He would tell her that I promise you I'd change, but he doesn't. I know for a fact that its wrong for me to like her and also it is wrong for her to having feelings for another guy when she has a boyfriend, but we both can't help it. She said if she was single she would be with me. I am very confused; I do not know what to do. I get jealous all the time when there like together; I know I have no right to be but I just get jealous. What can I do? I've kissed her before, but never had sex, because she said she has a boyfriend. My question is she I pursue this feeling that I have or should I just give up?

chuff · Sep 22, 2008, 06:55 PM

I think if she is kissing you when she has a boyfriend that tells you all you need to know about her true nature and what she'd do to you.

JBeaucaire · Sep 22, 2008, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by civic8

I know for a fact that its wrong for me to like her and also it is wrong for her to having feelings for another guy when she has a bf,

First, the statement above is completely wrong. There is nothing wrong with having feelings. In fact, you aren't in control of your feelings anyway, so pretending they are right or wrong is just focusing on the wrong thing.

So, your feelings and hers are natural and perfectly normal. OK?

BUT, that has nothing to do with your actions. Those you have 100% control of. It is completely inappropriate for you to be interacting sexually with a taken girl, that includes handholding and kissing. It is completely inappropriate for her to talk to anyone about her feelings for other boys other than her BF, and her ACTING on them makes her a cheater.

So, you have turned her into a cheater already. Not very noble, is it?

Your feelings towards her are fine to have and they are even fine to TELL HER about, but that is it. It stops there. You never, never, NEVER actively interact with someone else's girl. You simply let them know you WOULD if they were free, and ask them to "get free."

The rest is up to her.

There's nothing confusing here at all. Control yourself and behave nobly. Whether you end up with the girl or not, you need to be a gentleman throughout the process. You have to live with yourself and your character is the only thing that's worth anything in your life. Defend it, purify it.

OK?

angelaM1985 · Sep 22, 2008, 10:20 PM

First why would u want to be with a girl who has a b/f and is talking to another man (you) what u going to do if u get together and she meets someone else and gets feelings another guy my best advice is move on and if they break up and u both r single and still have feelings go for it

hjpan · Sep 23, 2008, 12:17 AM

This calls for confrontation.

She is now a cheater. You need to back up and get away from this girl.

You have no control over feelings, but you do have control over your actions.

talaniman · Sep 23, 2008, 06:03 AM

We all have feelings, and the way we deal with them is what makes us who we are. That makes you, and her cheaters, not by your feelings, but your actions.

Even if you do get together you will expect loyalty from her, which she has already demonstrated, she may not give it to you.

I strongly suggest that you leave this female alone, and move on, or run the risk of being cheated on.

Why are you so willing to play second fiddle? Can't you see that she has someone already, and she has you!