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lilkut44 · Sep 22, 2008, 05:53 AM

My fiancée and I were recently given temp. custody from his 6yr old. Son. We have gone through courts to have partial custody and we do pay child support. The mother has been going through some legal problems and decided to leave the state when we have made arrangements to send him back with her due to us having difficulty getting him in school. The mother rarely answers the phone since she left which has only been a couple of days, and I'm new to this mother thing and have no idea where to start. Is her leaving considered child abandonment since she left the state in which the court orders are issued? Or is it just considered moving? Do we contact children services? The court? I don't know where to begin. Please Help!

J_9 · Sep 22, 2008, 05:55 AM

stinawords · Sep 22, 2008, 07:30 AM

First no it isn't child abandonment. Second you can't do anything his father has to do it. He needs to go to court to establish custody. Why can't he be enrolled in school? I would guess it's because the school wants proof of him living with the father which the court custody papers would take care of.

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by lilkut44

My fiancee and i were recently given temp. custody from his 6yr old. son. We have gone through courts to have partial custody and we do pay child support. The mother has been going through some legal problems and decided to leave the state when we have made arrangements to send him back with her due to us having difficulty getting him in school. The mother rarely answers the phone since she left which has only been a couple of days, and im new to this mother thing and have no idea where to start. Is her leaving considered child abandonment since she left the state in which the court orders are issued? or is it just considered moving? Do we contact children services? the court? i dont know where to begin. Please Help!!

As Stinawords said, no, it's not child abandonment because the mother left the child with his father. Now your boyfriend needs to move for full, legal custody - I would assume he is in the State where custody was ordered? He needs to apply for a modification. You'll also want to re-address child support.

As far as school is concerned the School District wants the child in school and will - in every case I've seen - allow him to be enrolled on the basis of temporary custody until the modification is heard. They may want to see a copy of the request to modify.

Of course, you have no legal standing here other than to advise - and, of course, be supportive.

this8384 · Sep 22, 2008, 10:47 AM

Abandonment would be if she moved and never called the child again. From what I've read, it's only been a few days.

You state that your fiancée has partial custody. In the parental agreement, does it outline who is to make educational decisions for the child? If it's both parents, then there shouldn't be an issue with enrolling him in school.

traceyrco · Sep 22, 2008, 12:41 PM

Stop calling the woman - let her contact your b.f. If she doesn't that helps him out. Your boyfriend can go to your State Attorney General and ask to have the child support changed if he doesn't have money for a lawyer and isn't comfortable doing it himself. It takes a little longer - but that's what they're there for.

Check your state family laws on your state's website. In some states if she leaves the child and has no contact for at least six months - that can be considered abandonment. Of course that's subject to the judge feeling that's what it was - it's always up to what the judge thinks.

I've seen cases where one parent is in prison - but they can't find out where and the courts have the parent with custody hire a lawyer for the other parent to try to find them. In one case the parent couldn't be located in any prison - or anywhere else by their attorney so the judge relinquished that parent's rights.

Just want to let you know - some times - you do have to pay the other parent's attorney in cases like these when you go through private attorney - check with the Attorney General - they may be able to handle the entire kit and kabootle for him. Best of luck.

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by traceyrco

I've seen cases where one parent is in prison - but they can't find out where and the courts have the parent with custody hire a lawyer for the other parent to try to find them. In one case the parent couldn't be located in any prison - or anywhere else by their attorney so the judge relinquished that parent's rights.
.

Was this appealed and was it overturned - ? I can't imagine not being able to find a person in prison and wondered if the Attorney was held liable for error.

traceyrco · Sep 22, 2008, 02:14 PM

This case was in Denton County Texas - along about 2001/2002. To my knowledge it was not appealed and the attorney as well as plaintiff looked for the guy - could have been he was paroled - nobody knew - but like I said - in Texas it had been well over the 6 month period for relinquishment of rights.

Judy Kay you seem to have it out for me. Unless you are God, me thinks you ought to lend others the right to express what they know to be true or have experienced without crappy comments from you.

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by traceyrco

This case was in Denton County Texas - along about 2001/2002. To my knowledge it was not appealed and the attorney as well as plaintiff looked for the guy - could have been he was paroled - nobody knew - but like I said - in Texas it had been well over the 6 month period for relinquishment of rights.

Judy Kay you seem to have it out for me. Unless you are God, me thinks you ought to lend others the right to express what they know to be true or have experienced without crappy comments from you.

You've had a problem since the other thread was closed and your posts pulled. I asked a legitimate question and expected a civil answer. It is legal malpractice if the Attorney didn't make every effort to find the natural parent and the child was adopted out. It is malpractice if the non-custodial parent is not notified in accordance with the law.

"Me thinks" you should grow thicker skin and stop using this as a message board.

Here's my bigger concern: you have again responded with Texas law and quoted it as if it were the law everywhere. It is not. There is most definitely not ONE answer that fits all States. Take a look at what the "experts" post - and not just people with that title. There are people posting here who for whatever reason are not designated "experts" but know what they're talking about, who are well respected, who are ASKED to come to the board and take a look at a question - and they always preface their postings with "In California, In Indiana, In Ohio, In Pennsylvania, in Wisconsin" (with apologies to anyone I've left out) and that's what gives them credibility and earns respect for their answers. Often people say, "My research shows - ". No one is a self-professed expert.

Some say, "I was in this position in [state] and here's how it worked out."

A blanket "this is how it is" just doesn't address the specific situation or answer the question.

I have no desire to argue with you; however, if you post a blanket statement which is not true in all States, I'm going to call you on it. It is unfair to the OP to think something is accurate when, in fact, it is not.

As far as I think I'm God - this isn't a message board. I would suggest you read the rules for posting.

traceyrco · Sep 22, 2008, 02:32 PM

The child was not adopted - this was a biological parent vs. a biological parent.

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by traceyrco

The child was not adopted - this was a biological parent vs. a biological parent.

I still see it as possible Attorney malpractice. This same type of circumstance is posted all the time - I don't know why a parent would move to remove the parental rights of the other parent if that other parent doesn't see the child anyway, unless, of course, the parent is a danger to the child and I don't think being in prison is an automatic "danger" to the child.

JudyKayTee · Sep 23, 2008, 03:33 PM

[QUOTE=liz28 agrees: balancer, the question was answered..[/QUOTE]

I am addressing this with you one last time.

You have asked me to stay off "your" board - which was "other family and people." You requested that I stay off that board as a sign of respect to you. You also posted that you have me on ignore.

We apparently cannot act like adults when we are in each other's company and so I agreed to stay off "your" board.

And here you, on "my turf," back on the legal boards, back to disagreeing with everything I say.

As a sign of mutual respect - please avoid me by staying off the legal board in the same manner as I am avoiding you by staying off the family/people board. I will continue to post on one open thread.

Also - it appears that you are still able to read my posts. You may want to take another look at that block feature.