[ETWolverine]

What are the possible effects of regularly taking children to the cemetery to visit grandparents' (and other relatives) graves from early childhood, with particular focus on a child who is already dealing with anxiety issues?

Thank you,

Elliot

[eriknugent]

I think it might help them with anxiety especially if the death of a grand parent is a part of it.

[AKaeTrue]

I believe it actually has more to do with the mental stability of the person taking the child to the cemetery.

If when visiting their grandparents grave with their parent and that parent
Is anxious and distraught, then of course it will have an affect on the child.
If at any time there is going to be an emotional scene at a grave site,
I would suggest for children to not attend.

If the parent handles themselves in a positive, reassuring way,
Asserts that the grave is grandma/grandpas (or whoever) final resting
Place and that visiting the grave shows respect and love, then a child
Should be just fine.

Making a visit to a grave should be about love and respect to the
Deceased, not about the heart ache and pain their absence has caused.
If a child sees a positive approach, then it's a lot easier for them to absorb and understand.

If the child is having anxiety problems, give the child a positive job to do.
Let their job be to put pretty flowers on the grave when visiting.
They clearly know of the loss and it will make them feel like they are doing
Something to make others happy.
Then smile and tell them how pretty it looks...
Something that simple will provide a ton of reassurance to a child.

[Choux]

I don't think it is a good idea for children to be exposed to very many situations that deal with death. Even explanations of death to children should be kept to a minimum, such as grandma went to heaven.

The reason is that a child can get all kinds of macabre ideas, due to their immaturity, about death that the child doesn't, or can't, articulate. He may feel that grandpa is buried alive, somehow he, the child, can be buried alive. One never knows what associations a child may make if they have to go to cemeteries. A child may develop a fear of the supernatural, punishment and develop a need to be perfect to avoid a horrible end. Children make all kinds of associations in their minds that adults don't.

So, you see a child already dealing with anxiety will probably find cemeteries very stressful places. Once an individual has anxiety, anything the least bit fearful is magnified in his/her mind.

Best wishes to you and your family,

[firmbeliever]

Elliot,
How old is this child you speak of?

I ask,because for me seeing my own father before being buried was a good thing.I have seen many dead people before they were buried,but this is did not put anxiety in my head or fear of the dead or dying. It made me think it is normal to lose loved ones.

I have never visited a grave,but I think if a child had been exposed to death or dying relatives & understood that it is normal for people to die,then I think visiting a grave may have less impact on a child.

If a child has anxiety regarding death & dying,it is not a good idea for a child to visit cemeteries.

Maybe saying goodbye to a relative,while the body of the person is present may have less impact than visiting a grave.
As Choux said,a child may associate a grave as a place their loved one is buried and that they are maybe alive in there.

Just my thoughts..

EDIT::
When I said I have seen dead people,I see them after they are bathed,draped in white and they are just lying peacefully with eyes closed like in sleep.There is nothing disturbing about the person,like visible injuries etc.

EDIT AGAIN:
About visiting cemeteries,I have been to cemeteries,but not to personally be beside the grave of someone I knew or loved,but just passing through.